


The Balance

by ceciliasheplin



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Canon Compliant, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Healthy Relationships, Kylo Ren Redemption, Lightsabers, Loss of Virginity, No babies here, Protected Sex, Rey is confident, Romance, Sex Positive, Slow Burn, Softboi Ben, Sometimes just smut, Space Virgins, Stormpilot, The Force Ships It, They love each other, Trust & healing, a lot of smut, sexual healing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-10-22 14:17:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 70,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17664236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceciliasheplin/pseuds/ceciliasheplin
Summary: It has been a few months since the battle of Crait. Both sides are rushing to rebuild. Rey is getting stronger as a Jedi. Ben, however, is feeling unsure. They cannot forget about each other as dreams haunt them both. A series of events brings them together again.





	1. The Supreme Leader and The Last Jedi

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for myself, but if you want to read it, be my guest! This is how I wished Episode IX would play out. English is not my first language and I have no beta readers so please forgive my mistakes. This is Reylo trash but I’ve put a lot of work and love into it. It’s cannon compliant but I took some liberties into building a story that felt cathartic to me. Comments are appreciated. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

The smoke and soot rising from the many vents of the enormous shipyard lashed violently at the thick glass of the command room. Shielded inside, the Supreme Leader gazed upon the yellow landscape of the planet where the First Order had begun the construction of the new Dreadnaught. As he was trained to do, he held his military posture flawlessly, his face fixed into a neutral expression. Only his eyes denounced the storm raging inside.

The silence left after Snoke’s death was blissful but puzzling. Kylo knew of Snoke’s constant presence in his mind but hadn’t realized until now the extent of his influence. Now, he felt hollow. The rage that always served to fuel his will seemed to be fading. Its absence was a danger to him, he knew, as it would certainly allow other feelings to surface; feelings he had fought so hard to bury, barely succeeding.

But, no, he must focus, keep moving forward, he had gone too far to turn back. The things he had done, the things he had given to the Darkness would have been for nothing if he turned back now. So he violently smothered those treacherous thoughts back into that hidden place in his mind as he always had to do.

And yet his recently acquired position in leadership didn’t bring him any satisfaction. He found himself wishing he were somewhere else every time he had to make a decision or participate in meetings. He hated all of it, he hated the First Order, he hated Hux. Latent, his wish to destroy everything remained in his mind. However, he couldn’t tell if it was out of his everlasting lust for power or pure desperation.

Obviously enough, Kylo had taken the time to carefully erase the surveillance footage of the Throne Room to support the lie he had told Hux. The general was a necessary evil that he had to endure: the armies were loyal to him and not Kylo. Knowing very well that Hux couldn’t be trusted, he had to surround himself of allies, and fast.

Even though the First Order had come out victorious from the battle of Crait, they had suffered great losses and were largely unprepared for another run with the newly self-named rebels, so they were rushing to rebuild. They had invaded many planets to gather its resources, building factories and shipyards to reconstruct their fleet. It was a race between the two opposing forces to arm themselves in order to win, and the First Order had come out ahead.

And then there was her. Rey, the Last Jedi. The only person that he had ever had a connection with. The only person he had ever wanted by his side. The only one who understood. And yet, she was his greatest enemy. He had been sincere when he asked her to join him then, to create something new, to let everything die; but now it was clear that her loyalty lay with her friends and the Light. Her rejection still felt raw in his heart. Being in opposite sides of the war, one was destined to kill the other, and he had sworn to Skywalker that he would.

Their bond still existed, silent but strong. It lingered there, even after Snoke’s death, which might indicate that he was maybe lying about having created it or that it was a permanent change. Either way, it served as a painful reminder of their brief time together. He could feel she had shut it off somehow, and he hadn’t dared to touch it himself; it was better that way. However, he thought about her more often than he would like to admit, telling himself it was because she was his enemy. He had never felt more alone, and alone he was.

At the end of the day, Kylo was exhausted, much more than usual. In the darkness of the room, his mind wandered against his will, as there were no masks he could put on to shield him from his own thoughts. And he dreamed as he finally slipped into a restless sleep.

***

The beautiful streaks of light of hyperspace travel reflected in her eyes. The Last Jedi watched as the Millennium Falcon made its way to yet another planet, carrying what was left of the Resistance, the Spark that would light the fire to end the war.

Rey, the Last Jedi. She felt the burden of this ancient religion she knew very little about weigh heavily on her shoulders. After everything that happened, she wanted to become a Jedi and rebuild the Order more than anything, but she didn’t even know where to start. She suspected that her goal was probably too ambitious for someone who was a “no one” from “nowhere”, but she decided it would be counterproductive to think about it. Besides, there was something else, something that she had experienced under Master Skywalker’s first lesson: the Balance. It kept coming back to her mind, but its exact meaning eluded her.

Also, ever since she had found out about her family, she wanted to know more. In her heart, the anger for being abandoned collided against the lingering love that a child has for their parents. She wished she could talk to them, to confront them even, but also just to see them again. Unable to remember their faces, she held onto little things, like smells and sounds. She didn’t even know what planet she was born in; if it was green with forests like Takodana, or if it was an ocean like Ahch-To.

And then there was him. Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader, _Ben_. Strangely, the bond remained, so she had made sure to shut it closed and planed to keep it that way. The vision she had when they touched hands turned out to be wrong, she had been a fool to think he would have turned back to the Light. He never wanted to be anything other than a monster, he just wanted her for her power, to join him in his quest to destroy everything. Knowing what it felt like to be betrayed by loved ones, she mistakenly believed she could reach out to him. It was ironic the they had bonded so much then, telling each other things they had never told anyone else. When they spoke, she hadn't felt alone like she always had. But, in the end, he was lost in his own evil, and she had no interested in that.

She dismissed those useless thoughts and decided to invest in something better. Like her friends, or should she say: family. They had known each other for a relatively short amount of time but had gone through so much already. Finn had been her first friend, and she felt that she could tell him anything, and they grew closer as the months passed. Poe and her had to rely on one another since they were both expected to be in the same position in leadership and she found she liked him a lot. Also, she had become instant friends with Rose, she was so adorable that Rey couldn’t help but like her. Rose was so helpful with her vast knowledge of machines and gadgets, all acquired from experience, much like Rey herself. Chewie was her flying companion and dear friend and she took every opportunity she could to learn from the wookie. And finally, she would be lying if she said she didn’t consider General Organa a mother figure in her life. Rey was inspired by her and hoped to be like her someday. The general was stern but also very sweet to those around her. She wondered if she had seen a glimpse of that same sweetness in her son’s eyes that day when their hands touched.

To say that the former Resistance, now Rebellion, was in bad shape would be an understatement. The tiny group that survived Crait had been searching for a safe place to build a base ever since. They had had no luck thus far, stopping at many planets almost scavenging for resources but never spending more than a few days in one place at a time. No system would dare cross the First Order after the destruction of the Hosnian System. That’s why no one answered when they called for help. It would be a great task to gather allies while hiding at the same time. But General Organa was no stranger to adversity.

Finally, after many weeks roaming through the galaxy, Leia had set the course to Jiroch, a planet located in the galaxy’s Mid Rim on the Corellian Trade Spine. Its civilisation harboured many species and was vibrant with commerce.

This particular place was vital to their survival not only because of the new ships and supplies, but because it was a drone manufacturer. Leia had come up with a plan to place as many drones as they could to monitor the First Order’s activities. The General knew that in spite of their victory, the First Order was working to rebuilt. It would be possible to devise a stealth mission to dismantle their chain of supplies, and if they could strike fast, they might start to change their luck in the war.

The owner of a small manufacturing facility - Leia’s ally - was a Bothan woman. Old allies with the Rebellion thirty years ago, she welcomed the minuscule group of rebels with hesitation. She was afraid, Leia explained, of the retaliation she could suffer in the hands of the First Order should they discover that she was helping them. However, the woman had heard how Luke Skywalker had faced alone the entire First Order and decided to help. Also thanks to Leia’s brilliant negotiation skills, she had agreed to even provide some new ships. They got settled in one of the warehouses, hidden from sight.

The hierarchy of the new Rebellion wasn’t hard to decide. It was just them. So Finn and Rose ended up being captains or commanders which was rather amusing to them.

“Yeah… I guess you’re a commander now!” exclaimed Rey to Finn.

“That’s so weird…” he said, shaking his head.

“And you, admiral Rose!” Rey quipped.

“Well, Rey, the Last Jedi, you are not so far off.” Rose replied.

“Can you believe that we’re in charge of everything?” Finn mused.

At the end of the day, Rey was feeling good, considering. She felt happy to have her friends around her, in spite of all the loss they suffered so recently. However, at night, as she struggled to sleep as usual, her mind fluctuated in and out of consciousness. As she fell asleep, her mind wandered into a dream.

***

At first, they only saw each other’s eyes. His dark ones met hers and they changed in recognition. They were facing each other, close. Their mutual disappointment slithered through their hearts, tuning the moment bitter.

The Force was singing around them, a beautiful symphony that only they could hear.

Their emotions couldn’t be hidden at that place. His regret roared in his ruined heart, exposing his desperation. Her doubt coiled inside her, dimming the hope she was trying so hard to keep alight.

“ _Do you want to kill me, Ben?_ ” he heard her voice say in his mind.

“ _I have to._ ” his low voice echoed back at her, less threatening than he intended.

“ _Then do it…_ ” she challenged him.

He held his lightsaber between them. Guiding his hand, she placed the hilt against her heart and stared at him, her eyes daring him to ignite it.

“ _Do it…_ ” she defied him, with tears stinging her eyes.

His face shifted from resolution to hesitation, and finally, pain. He dropped the weapon to the ground, unable to repeat the gesture he had once done.

“ _I can’t… I don’t want to…_ ” he confessed, his head dropping in surrender.

Out of instinct, she reached her hand for him again, and he took it. Once more, their contact opened a violent rush of emotions as both Light and Dark surged around them, in harmonious Balance.

Rey woke up suddenly. Rubbing her eyes, she worried if that meant that the bond was opening up by itself, but she knew it wasn’t. The dream had been so real, as if he were really there with her, his dark eyes confessing everything to her.

***

Ben jolted awake from the dream. Chastising himself for it, he wondered why his mind would conjure dreams like that. Burned into his mind, all he could see were her hazel eyes gazing back at him in disappointment. And he knew he shouldn’t care, but he did.


	2. The Knights of Ren

The dark outdoor space contrasted with the planet’s yellow sky. At the center, regally stood Kylo Ren surrounded by six dark figures, each one holding a different weapon, their faces covered by masks. As a show of their loyalty, they all knelt in front of their Supreme Leader.

“Rise.” thundered Kylo Ren.

Together, they arose and removed their masks. The Knight whose blonde hair matched his pale skin spoke first:

“We are ready to follow you as our new Supreme Leader. We humbly await your command, master.” he stated, gravely.

“Your loyalty is more valuable than ever, Caster. I expect all of you to obey me as you would Lord Snoke.” replied Kylo.

“Our skills are at you command, master.” spoke the brown skinned Knight right behind him, her dark hair cut into a sharp short style.

“Yes, Ailla, they will be needed very soon, for I have a task for you.” spoke Kylo. “You will place spies in strategic points in the galaxy. The Rebellion is tiny and vulnerable but still dangerous. They will hide for as long as they can. We must find them before they can grow and spread.”

“I can go to the Outer Rim, master, I have allies in many systems.” spoke another Knight with pale skin and blue eyes.

“I will go with Jorya, master, search the Outer Rim until they are found.” asserted another, his almond eyes shining with the outlook of bloodshed.

“Yes, Mikal.” said Kylo. “General Organa is not a fool, she will be on the lookout for spies, a lot of strategy will be needed in order to find them. You have to be discreet. Bama, Sadako, you will go to the systems that were loyal to the fallen New Republic, search for potential rebel allies.”

“Yes, master, we will not fail you.” Sadako took a bow, making her long white hair flow in the wind.

“We will find them, master.” added Bama, curtly. The Knight had a narrow intelligent face and his black skin matched his black eyes.

“But most important of all, you will not use violence.” commanded Kylo. “We need to be discreet. No violence, understood?”

Some of them shifted in discomfort at the strangeness of that order, seeing as Kylo was the most violent of them all, but none said anything.

“Master, what of the Jedi? She must pay for what she did.” asked Sadako, clutching her weapon.

“If we find the rebels, we find her. She will not leave them. Once we find her, I’ll deal with her. Alone.”

“Yes, master.” They all recited in unison.

***

From a distance, Hux was observing them. He hated the Knights as much as he hated Kylo, but maybe they could be of use if one was smart enough to manipulate them. He was always on the lookout for an opportunity. Dissatisfied with Kylo Ren’s leadership, Hux hated that he was now the Supreme Leader. In his opinion, they could have invaded many more planets and taken the resources by force, had Ren not insisted in a diplomatic approach. Everytime him and Ren disagreed, there was a sense on the back of his mind that reminded him of the events on the Throne Room. He would always regret the missed opportunity of killing that insufferable idiot. And the only thing keeping him from doing it now was the obvious fact that Ren would overpower him. That day still puzzled him, and he grew more and more suspicious of Kylo Ren every passing day.

***

Alone in the tiny room she had claimed for herself, Rey was reading the books she stole from Ahch-To to try and figure out how to build a lightsaber. Unfortunately, they didn’t have much information about the technical part, mentioning only meditation with kryber crystals. Maybe they didn’t have lightsabers when those books were written. Since the Skywalker blade shattered, she was in need of a weapon, so an idea came to her: to build a light staff instead of a saber. It was fitting, seeing as she had always fought with a staff and she had two halves of a crystal. Once more she was going to have to figure it out all by herself, like she always did.

Tossing the book aside, her mind wandered to another subject that was bothering her. Ever since she came back, she had been trying to decide if she should tell Leia about her connection with Ben, and what happened between them. She hadn’t dared so far, not wanting to cause her anymore pain. But she also didn’t want to withhold this kind of thing from her, it felt like lying.

A knock on her door snapped her out of her torpor and she was grateful for that.

“Come in!” Rey answered.

“Is this a bad time?” greeted Rose, waving shyly at her door.

“Not at all! I’d be glad to stop for a moment.” Rey reassured her, stretching her arms.

“I just came here to let you know about the rotations. You’ve been assigned to 0700...” Rose told her cheerfully.

“Yeah, no problem!” Rey replied with a tired smile.

She was about to leave when she noticed the lightsaber parts on Rey’s table, arranged neatly on a cloth.

“Hey, do you need help with that?” Rose offered.

Rey thought about it for a second. “Actually, I do...”

“What is it?” Rose asked casually.

“I want to build a lightsaber, well, a light staff…”

“A-A... a Jedi weapon?!” exclaimed Rose, immediately regretting her offer.

“It’s perfect actually! You can help me with the assembly and I’ll worry about the Jedi part!” Rey felt excited about it for the first time.

“But I don’t know anything about Jedi weapons…” Rose gulped, staring at Rey as if she had three heads.

“Well, to be honest, neither do I! Come on, Rose, you know all about machines, this is just another one of them.” Rey said, matter-of-factly.

“Hum... I guess...” Rose hesitated.

“I could use all the help I can get.” confessed Rey, shooting her a pleading look.

“Oh… alright, I’ll do my best…” Rose mumbled, wondering what she had just gotten herself into.

***

They spent the rest of the day absorbed on the task. Rose’s knowledge of mechanical parts was very helpful and they were able to make actual progress. They came up with some drawings and strategies to make the double-bladed weapon. In deep concentration, they almost didn’t heard Finn knocking on the door:

“Hey! Whatcha guys doing?”

***

“Try it now…” said Finn, screwing the last part shut.

Rey took the hilt and ignited it…  _ Click… click… click… _

Nothing.

They all grunted in frustration.

“Wait, give me that!” Rose snatched the unfinished hilt from Finn’s hand and he gasped, feigning offense.

“Are you suggesting that I don’t know what I’m doing, miss Tico?” Finn joked, making them laugh.

“Hum, it’s Admiral Tico, actually…” Rose said in a fake pompous tone but bursted into a giggle.

***

“Oh, there you are! I need you guys to… hey, what’s that?” asked Poe, from Rey’s door. He was curious to see what could possibly have stolen his soldiers from their stations, and joined them, forgetting what he was going to say.

***

Leia had searched everywhere for her rebels but found no one. She was about to give up when she heard laughter and talk from the dorms. Following her ears, she found her High Command sitting on the floor around Rey who was levitating a wrench and a screwdriver in the air, while the others laughed and applauded. She cleared her throat audibly.

They all froze at the sight of Leia’s frown of disapproval, and the tools feel to the ground making the only sound left in the room.

“Commander! I will not have you kid around while there’s a war to be fought!” scolded Leia.

Poe was mortified and got up quickly while the others did the same, very embarrassed. They started to put away their tools to leave until they heard a chuckle. They all glanced at Leia whose stern face had bursted into laughter.

“Oh, you kids crack me up! You should’ve seen your faces!” she said at the stunned group, laughing at them.

“You’re not mad?” Rey asked.

“Of course not! I thought you knew me better than that!”

Laughter came over them in relief after the terrifying possibility of angering the general had been defused. She joined her dear rebels in their little reunion until it was bedtime.

***

“Rey?” Leia spoke, sitting by Rey’s side, after the others had left. “May I talk to you?”

“Of course!” Rey replied, wiping a tear of laughter from her eyelid.

Leia smiled but had a tired voice. “Rey... I need to ask you something, and I need you to tell me the truth: Do you really want to be a Jedi?”

Rey turned serious for a moment and elaborated. She did, of course, but why would the General ask her that?

“Yes, I do. With all my heart.” Rey was sincere.

Leia reflected on her words: “I believe you, dear. Well, if that’s the case, I have no doubt you will be successful. I can see your Light, it’s strong and beautiful. But, Rey, it is such a burden, make sure you don’t carry it alone. Never abandon the ones you love for that, it is not worth it.”

“I understand. I’ll remember your words.” Rey promised. Leia smiled and offered Rey her hand and she took it.

She felt it then. Rey gasped as shock took over her mind, gazing wide-eyed at Leia.

“No, it can’t be… Leia! No… no…no…” she repeated, as if her denial were enough to change reality.

“Oh, my dear. I’m at peace with it. It’s a part of life.” she spoke with a calm that could only come from years of living such a life.

She did notice that Leia had been more tired than usual, but didn’t think anything of it, after all she had lost her brother only days after losing her husband. How could the Force take her away from them like this? After all that they had lost.

The general paused for a moment, gazing at Rey with melancholic eyes. Eyes that were exactly like her son’s. Leia sighed: “Rey, I need you to be ready, I know how hard it is, but I need you to fight, I need you to reach out to the entire galaxy and show them your Light. They will need your compassion and understanding.”

“I-I... I will...” Rey tried, her voice breaking.

“You are so strong, Rey. I admire you for it.”

“Please, it is I who admire you…” Rey’s voice quivered with emotion.

Leia squeezed her hand. “Trust the Force, Rey… it will not abandon you. And trust your friends, keep them close...”

***

Rey was furious. She couldn’t believe that the Force would be so cruel as to take her too. First Han, then Luke and now... Leia.

Rey recognised the excited mood as the rebels were busy making preparations to leave. They had worn out their welcome in Jiroch and needed to move on. She witnessed with melancholy Finn and Poe help Leia aboard the Falcon, as Chewie followed them, crestfallen. They knew.

As they travelled to Yavin 4 - Leia had insisted on going there - Rey and Rose resumed their building of the light staff to take their minds off things. Her heart was somber and but they were trying their best to keep going, Rey needed her weapon. Rose had had a breakthrough that day and they managed to put the hilt together.

“Now, we test it. Do you want to place the Crystal?” Rose offered, wiping her hand on a cloth.

“Yes. The book said in order for it to work, I need to meditate... on it... with it? But I guess we must try to see if the mechanisms work...” Rey said, hesitantly. 

Rey took the crystals and placed one at each end of the double hilt. She took a breath and positioned herself to ignite it, gazing at Rose hopefully. As soon as she pushed the button, the weapon hissed and sparks came out, burning her hand.

“Ow!” she exclaimed in pain, dropping the hilt.

“Oh, no, are you alright?” Rose asked, worried.

“Yes, I’m fine... I looks like it might need a little more work.” she grinned at Rose who smiled back. The two women never shied away from a challenge.

***

He had felt it. The bond he shared with his mother let him know. Kylo Ren should be satisfied to know that one of his enemies would soon be gone, out of his way. However, he hadn’t been able to kill her at the Raddus attack and now he couldn’t find any vindication in learning about her state. Once more his emotions stirred dangerously in him. He could feel the pain she was in, even from the enormous distance between them.

“SUPREME LEADER!” Hux shrieked, having called him for the third time, his impatience bursting out. Kylo snapped out of his state and saw The Knights of Ren all staring at him, confused.

At the command room, they had gathered in order to decide the new hierarchy of command, since the Knights would be joining the war.

“Yes, general?” Kylo said between his teeth, irritated.

“Supreme Leader.” Hux continued, clearing his throat. “Sadako and Ailla will oversee the infantry, while Caster and Jorya will lead the fleet, and lastly Mikal and Bama will handle the ground operations in…”

“Yes, fine…” Kylo hastily agreed and resumed his brooding.

“Right, thank you, Supreme Leader.” Hux affirmed, barely hiding his contempt. “Now, we must hurry to better arm the shipyards, everything depends on that. I took the liberty to devise a strategy…”

“No, we must concentrate our efforts on finding the rebels…” Kylo Ren interrupted.

“But, my lord, how can we fight them when our fleet is still reduced to a few…” Hux spoke in a controlled tone.

“Now, general, you will not question my orders!” Kylo snapped, raising his hand ominously in the air into a choking gesture. “This meeting is over.” he hissed as he got up to leave.

“Yes, Supreme Leader…” Hux replied in submission as his hand reflexively jumped to his throat.

Frustration was on the air as Kylo left. His Knights expected more from him as he had always been the most war prone of them all. But their loyalty to the First Order and to its new leader was still strong in their minds, after all, when had Kylo ever steered them wrong?

***

Kylo Ren’s show of weakness served only to solidify Hux’ certainty. He knew he had to find out what had really happened that day at the Throne Room. He had a theory: that Ren had sided with the Jedi to kill Snoke and the Praetorians. If he could prove it to the Knights, they would certainly turn against their master and kill him, doing Hux the favour. After that, all he had to do was manipulate them against each other. And then General Hux will have finally gained all the power he lusted for his entire life.


	3. Leia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for Carrie Fisher, our dear princess.  
> Don't worry, our lovebirds will be together soon.

The ruins of the old rebel base neared as the ships prepared to land. Rey observed Leia’s face as she gazed upon the old construction, guessing correctly that the place meant a lot to the general.

More soldiers had enlisted and they had been given a few more ships, but the Rebellion was still nothing but a small group of about fifty people. They got to work, cleaning up the old Base and salvaging what they could. They populated the living quarters and Rey was happy to have such a huge room just for her.

That night, she and Rose were trying again to make the staff work.

“Ready?” asked Rey. Rose just nodded and backed off.

With one eye shut, Rey fearfully ignited it. This time, however, the small circuits inside the weapon came alive. They could tell the crystals were working with the circuits even though they hadn’t produced the blade yet. Rey smiled at Rose, who clapped excitedly. It was about time they had good news. She was ready to begin her meditation.

***

“Rey... come with me...” Poe urged. “It’s Leia.”

She knew it, it was time, she acknowledged with a pang of hurt. When they arrived at her quarters, she saw Leia holding Chewie’s paw. She looked weak but was smiling, talking to him. Desperation stung Rey’s heart, as she realized that they were saying goodbye.

Leia spotted them at the door and told them to come in. The pilot gazed at Rey, and she didn’t see his usual confidence in his demeanor, but anguish that twisted his expression.

She braced herself for the conversation that was about to happen. They entered the room and kneeled beside Leia, who welcomed them with a smile that made Rey’s heart begin to break.

“Thank you for coming. I know this is hard but it needs to be said.” she started, and then turned to Poe, taking his hand: “Poe, I know it is a burden but now you are their leader, you and Rey. People will look up to you and you have to be there for them.”

“I-I know, I’ll try...” he promised her, squeezing her hand, still not ready to let her go.

“Don’t worry, I know you can do it, as you’ve done many times. I’m proud of you. I think you know by now that I think of you as a son.”

“And I love you like a mother...” he managed to say, shedding the first tears.

“Your parents would be so proud to see the great man you’ve become.” Leia smiled to him warmly. “Don’t be sad for me, be happy that you will go on, that you will end this war and live. Don’t ever lose hope.”

He was sobbing now, unable to respond. She touched his head and he looked at her, not believing any of what was happening.

She turned to Rey, taking her hand as well: “My dear, I want you to know that I’m glad I got to meet you, I care deeply for you. I know the burden you carry, I know how lonely it can be. But the Force will be with you. You already have everything you need.”

“Leia... please don’t go...” begged Rey pathetically, feeling her Force-signature weakening.

“Oh, my dear, no one is ever really gone. Soon I’ll be one with the Force, I’m going to see Han and Luke.” Leia whispered with a smile.

Rey’s body shook with her sobbs. She was going to lose another one, and there was nothing she could do about it.

“Lead them.” Leia continued, looking at them straight in the eyes. “Light the fire.”

The pair nodded softly, unable to utter a response.

“Could I ask to be left alone for a moment?” asked Leia, with a calm that Rey didn’t understand.

“Of course! We’ll be outside...” Rey said wiping her face and standing up to leave.

“We’ll be back shortly...” Poe sniffled, and left the room also.

***

Leia closed her eyes in concentration. She was unsure if she would be able to reach him, but she had to try. She prayed to the Force and her wish was granted.

“ _Ben..._ ” Leia called her only son.

Light-years from where she was, Ben was in his quarters when he heard her voice. Shocked, he jolted up from his seat, wide-eyed.

“Mother...” his breath shivered, the word escaping his mouth.

“ _My dear son... I’ve longed for the day you would come home, but alas, that day was never mine to live. Soon I’ll became one with the Force and now is not the time to measure words. I’m sorry for all the things that I’ve done wrong, how blind I was to your suffering, to your Darkness. I wish things had been different, I wish I had never sent you away. You are still our son, and I love you. I will take my love for you into the Force and it will be there for you, forever_.”

Ben was listening to every word, clenching his fists tightly. He was unable to reply, as the chaos in his heart silenced any rational thought.

“Mother...” he repeated pitifully.

For the last time, Leia closed her eyes and her body disappeared, becoming one with the Force.

The ripples of her passing hit him through the Force, striking him with merciless pain, something that was quite familiar to him, but no less maddening. Unable to cry, he screamed in desperation and ignited his lightsaber. He lashed out at the expensive furniture of his new chambers with all his strength, destroying it to rubble.

He kept at it until he had exhausted himself, collapsing on the floor from exertion and pain. Something cracked inside him, it had begun when his blade went through his father’s heart and now was complete, and he thought he was going to die from it. Barely breathing, Ben stayed there for the rest of the night, rotting on the durasteel floor.

***

It was a beautiful day on Yavin 4. The green forest served as a peaceful background for a lovely hill that existed just outside the old Base. All of the rebels had gathered there to say goodbye to their great leader.

Rey, Finn and Rose were standing solemnly next to the memorial they built, painful tears staining their faces. With a no less painful expression on his face, Poe was standing the closest.

“She was the greatest leader I’ve ever known. Her wisdom and intelligence were only matched by her kindness. I loved her as I’m sure many of you did and my heart is broken. But her legacy lives on. We will carry on and end the war for her. May her courage inspire many generations to come.” Poe discoursed, unsure how to say goodbye.

They lingered there for a long time, until nightfall, when at last some started to leave.

Rey was devastated. She turned to Finn and he held her while they both cried. That was the problem of loving someone, she pondered, when they’re gone, it hurts so much that one might wonder if it’s worth it at all.

The following days were sad and dreary, the entire base enveloped in mourning for Leia. Rey took comfort in knowing that her friends were there for her, but grief was relentless, taking up every fiber of her heart.

She wondered if Ben knew. Of course he did. If she could feel her passing through the Force he could too. But was he a son grieving for his mother or was he glad to be rid of another person he thought betrayed him? After Crait she thought the latter would be true, but something in the back of her mind told her it might not be so simple.

She had decided it was time for her to complete her weapon. She had told the others that she was going to take a few days to meditate. Leia was on her mind as she made her way into the forest. She could feel her presence in the Force. Her resilience and nobility inspired her, pushed her forward. Rey hoped that she would be able to honor her memory in the battle ahead.

There was a clearing in the woods, where the sun touched the ground. It seemed like a peaceful place to meditate, so she sat down and placed her staff in front of her. Closing her eyes, she breathed in and reached into the Force. Through it, she could feel the two pieces of the kryber crystal inside the weapon. Images started to appear in her head: the Light that gleamed inside her, that gave her strength; the eternal extent of the Force, as it moved through all living things; the whole galaxy moving in its endless dance.

Finally, after an unknown amount of time, her Force-signature extended slowly towards the crystals and wrapped around them. At that moment, she knew it was done.

Opening her eyes, she took her weapon in her hand and got up, taking her stance. One clear beam of rich blue light came out of one end as she set it alight and the second one followed. She marvelled at it, feeling proud of herself. She was ready.

***

At the command room, Hux found Caster Ren examining the new luxurious installations of the Supremacy II. He tried to casually walk up to him, but seeing as he was unable to do anything casually, he just gave up and marched.

“It is a beauty, isn’t it?” Hux croaked.

“Yes, General, indeed it is.” Caster replied, automatically.

“Oh, please don’t let me interrupt you…” he stated.

“Not at all.” Caster Ren politely replied.

“Our new Supreme Leader is very generous…” Hux was looking for a breech, that’s all he needed.

“I thought that this ship had been your idea.”

Hux let out a little laugh. “Oh, yes, of course. It is my wish that The First Order’s new ships be nothing but the very best in the galaxy. As are the Supreme Leader’s Knights.” he added with a courtesy.

“Our master Kylo Ren is the most powerful, we’d be nothing without him.”

“Oh, I doubt that. You are all incredibly capable.” Hux cajoled the Knight.

“He could best any of us, anytime.” Caster Ren frowned with certainty.

“Maybe, but can he overpower all six of you? Together?”

Caster Ren gazed at him for the first time:

“What do you mean, general?”

“Well, I have a theory. But you wouldn’t be interested. I’m sure that nothing I can say to you could ever shake your loyalty to our Leader, as is expected from the _second_ in command…” Hux had a victorious grin on his face, ready to strike.

***

“Do you have it? Did it work?” asked Rose, running up to Rey as soon as she saw her.

Rey only smiled and ignited it, showing her the weapon.

“Stars, it’s beautiful!” Rose said with eyes sparkling.

“Is was all thanks to you!” Rey acknowledged.

“I just helped…” Rose blushed with modesty.

“No, Rose, I couldn’t have done this without you, thank you.” Rey said, sincerely.

Rose just smiled and they hugged. Rey reminded Rose so much of her sister and she was struck with a pang of hurt in her heart. But, as always, Rose shook the pain off:

“Let’s show the guys!”

They found Poe and Finn at the command room. They were looking at each other lovingly, but as soon as the women entered the room they broke it off and acted as if nothing had happened.

“Look, guys!” Rose giggled.

Rey showed them the light staff and the men were thrilled.

“Wow! It’s amazing!” said Finn, genuinely impressed.

“Leia would be proud of you, Rey.” said Poe with a sad smile and she reciprocated.

Suddenly, they heard a beep coming from the control panel.

“The drones! They found it!” Finn said, pointing at the holomap. “Here! At Cerea. This is one of their shipyards. It’s one of the small ones though.”

“Of course Leia’s plan worked...” said Poe.

“We are ready! For Leia!” Rose said with confidence.

“For Leia.” the two men recited in unison.

They all looked at Rey. That was her time to lead them, to be the Jedi she wanted to be.

“For Leia.” she stated confidently.

***

The Supremacy II was an imposing figure as it made its way through space. Even though it was still unfinished, its shadow covered almost an entire continent of the planet Ganthel. At the new Throne Room, sat the Supreme Leader, his general and his Knights.

Jorya Ren signaled to the guards and they dragged in a prisoner. A Bothan with her hands bound.

“Master, we have a gift for you.” Jorya smirked.

“It appears as this Bothan was foolish enough to help the rebels on Jiroch. We found traces of them at one of her warehouses.” mocked Bama, as he circled the terrified prisoner.

“She even provided them with ships…” scoffed Jorya. “She was a drone manufacturer, it is possible that they have sent drones to spy on our activities.”

“Please… please…” begged the Bothan, bitterly regretting her decision to ever having helped the rebels.

“Silence!” Jorya shouted. “We did as you commanded, master. No violence. But now we can extract all the information we need.” The Knight reached out her hand and lightning came out of her fingers hitting the woman in the spine, making her wail in pain.

“STOP!”

All the Knights immediately turned their heads to look at the person who shouted the order. Kylo Ren was standing up, livid. Something had taken over him, he couldn’t stand watching that woman be tortured. He could feel her pain as if it was his own.

The room was dead quiet. All of the Knights watched him wide-eyed.

“You will not torture that prisoner or any other!” he fumed.

“But, master, we can extract vital information from…” started Caster Ren.

“YOU WILL OBEY MY ORDERS! YOU WILL NOT QUESTION THEM!” Kylo Ren bellowed, forcing Caster and the others to kneel immediately in submission. “Return her to her planet at once! Unharmed!” Kylo hissed, proceeding to leave the room, well aware of the strangeness of his actions.

As he passed through his kneeling Knights, confusion and hesitation emanated from them. Especially from Caster Ren, who had always shared with Kylo an affinity for violence.

Hux only observed the pitiful scene. It seemed as if Kylo Ren was sabotaging himself by displaying this kind of behavior. It was becoming surprisingly easy now. He laughed internally at that and knew his plan was almost complete. All he needed was the last piece.

***

Hux had searched and searched for hours through the surveillance footage from the old Throne Room, but had found nothing. Without strong proof, it would be impossible to convince the Knights.

He looked again at the footage, ready to give up, when he noticed something. It looked like a glitch, as if someone had erased part of it. _Erased_ … His certainty inflamed at that realization. His next move was bold, too risky even for Hux, but it was now or never.


	4. The Rebellion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, so I'm uploading two tonight!

The Falcon’s legendary speed served them well as it neared the shipyard, unnoticed by the radars. This one was small and security wasn’t the best the First Order could manage, making it the perfect target for the small group. The rebels promptly landed and made their way through the terrain, planting explosives as they went.

Every time there was a guard, Rey knocked them out using the Force. They had one more spot to go when the alarms went out, but they were ready, they had the Last Jedi.

A squad of stormtroopers closed in and opened fire. While the others took shelter behind crates, Rey ignited her lightstaff and deflected every shot fired at them, in a beautiful show of her lightning fast reflexes.

“Go! I’ll handle them!” Rey shouted to her friends.

Poe and Finn quickly placed the last explosives and retreaded immediately back to where Rey was.

“This is not my kind of action…” Poe lamented, missing his X-Wing.

“At least we’re doing something!” said Finn.

They made it back to Rey, and the three turned around to escape, but as soon as they passed the perimeter fence, shots were fired against them. Throwing themselves to the ground, Finn instinctively fired back and killed at least three stormtroopers. Rey knocked the rest of them out and they swiftly got back to the Falcon, where Rose and Chewie were waiting.

“Rose! Now!” Poe shouted.

Rose pushed the button and the entire facility exploded, turning the landscape into a burning inferno.

“Make the jump, Chewie!” Rey called.

As soon as they were in hyperspace, the group yelped in victory. Their first.

“That was great!” Poe exclaimed.

“Great job, guys!” Rey congratulated.

“I can’t believe we actually came out victorious!” Rose remarked.

Finn just smiled a weak smile.

***

“Finn? Are you alright?” Poe asked, suddenly facing Finn who had been very quiet since the attack. The question made Rey turn her head to listen.

“I killed a stormtrooper… several actually…”

“Well, we are at war…” Poe observed.

“I know, but… It feels wrong.” Finn continued, feeling something strange coil in his stomach.

Poe stared at him for a moment, remembering what had happened at the attack at the Dreadnaught.

“Of course, killing always does, even if it is war...” Rey said, but a pang of shame hit her.

“I’ve been thinking. The stormtroopers… They have been brainwashed, like me. I think I want to help them…” Finn started. “What if there was a way to make them see, to break them free of it and give them back to their families.”

“How?” Poe asked, frowning.

“Maybe if we could get the information the First Order has about them, about their families, about where they came from…” Finn thought out loud.

“Yeah, but that kind of thing is not easily available, I’m only guessing. I bet it’s kept deep into the First Order’s archives. It wouldn’t be possible to get it, not with our current resources…” Poe explained.

“There’s got to be a way. And I will find it.” Finn stated, even though he had no idea where to start.

***

Ben was alone. And lost. He had walked for many kilometers in his bare feet aimlessly, running away from everything. His mind was in chaos, opposite emotions colliding inside him, causing unbearable pain.

Suddenly, he was standing beside a pool of dark water. That place called him and he couldn't help but draw near. Gazing into the black abyss, he let his body fall into the water.

The light in the sky shone upon her face. Rey had been alone for so long that her heart felt frozen, almost numb. But she held onto hope, hope for something better, for the suffering to end.

She could see him from far away. She cried out for him, but he couldn’t listen, or wouldn’t. She saw as he fell into the water and ran to him.

She didn’t fear the water but would never let herself be swallowed by it. She didn’t understand why anyone would seek all this pain.

He was drowning. Dark water filled his lungs and pulled him down. The pain he thought he would escape from only got greater. And he plunged into oblivion. He thought he wanted this, but the penance became too much and he tried to swim his way up. However, all he did was sink even deeper. He was going to die, of that he was sure.

But as he hit the bottom, he found ground to give him leverage to push his body back towards the surface. He swam with all his strength until finally reaching the surface. He took a desperate breath, but the water weighed heavily on him. He couldn’t get out. It was so heavy and he was so  _ tired _ .

Ben saw a hand and he took it. As Rey pulled him out of the water, he coughed out the dark water from his lungs and breathed in the cool air.

The water soaked her where it touched, darkening her clothes. The light followed her motion, shining upon his face.

Lying on his back to catch his breath, he saw her reach out her hand. It hovered over the scar she gave him until she closed the distance and their skins touched. His pain subsided and he wanted to ask her not to leave him, but he couldn’t find his voice.

She wanted to help him, she wanted to stay with him, in that place where they didn’t have to be who they were. She leaned in, wanting to be closer. She wanted to tell him so many things but her voice couldn’t make a sound.

Her lips were mere centimeters away from his and their breaths mingled. She blinked softly and his eyes responded, looking through her:  _ Please... _

Rey woke up, gasping. Another dream. After she calmed down, she wondered how it was possible for such enemies to have this kind of dreams of one another. Her body was electrified as if it had really happened. And for a fleeting moment, she wished it had. She had to talk to somebody about this or else she would go insane.

***

Ben woke up in his dark room, having had the same dream. He could almost feel the pain and cold, but also the warmth of her touch on his skin. His mind betrayed a thought and he wished he could feel the touch of her hand again. But he knew it was unthinkable, she would never want this from him. Troubled, he tried to keep control of the turmoil seething within him, but knew it was futile. For the first time since he left Luke’s temple, he felt lost and he hated it.

***

Rey was feeling anxious. She felt guilty for having such a strong connection to the person responsible for all their misery and suffering. As she walked through the calm rebel base at night, she pondered at the dreams she had had and what they meant. Finally, she got to the door she was looking for and knocked.

“Come in!” she heard Finn’s muffled voice from within the room.

She found him looking at some holomaps. “Finn, may I talk to you?” her urgent tone made him perk up in his seat.

“What’s wrong, Rey?” he asked, full of worry.

“I need to talk to somebody… There’s something… ugh… why is it so hard to explain?” she huffed in frustration.

“Ok, calm down, have a seat.” offered Finn. “Start from the beginning. What are we talking about? Is it Leia? Is it the Jedi thing?”

“Finn, what I’m about to tell you might shock you…” she started, making his eyes widen. “I-have-a-connection-with-Kylo-Ren-we-could-see-each-other-through-the-Force-and-it’s-been-going-on-for-awhile-and-we-really-bonded-and-it’s-still-here-and-there-are-these-dreams-that-I’m-having…” she unloaded everything in one breath.

“Woah, woah, slow down... you have a what with who? Did you say Kylo Ren?” he sputtered, just as shocked as she predicted.

“Oh, Finn… please…” she begged, defeated.

He paused for a moment, regretting the tone he used. That was his best friend and he owed her more than that.

“I’m sorry, Rey… I’m listening…” he reset his posture to listen to her.

She told him everything that happened. She explained to him how the Forcebond worked and how she was connected to him, and how it remained to this day. She remarked about how they talked and how she saw another side of him that she didn’t expect to have seen. Surprisingly, Finn wasn’t mad and his face stayed calm while he listened.

“Wow, so you fought together, huh? And he was the one who killed Snoke, not you?” Finn said with a vacant stare, trying to take it all in.

“Yes…”

“You talk about him like he isn’t an… awful person.” Finn tried, not sure how to phrase it.

“For a moment there, I thought he could be, but after he came after us to obliterate us from the galaxy, I realised I was wrong. It was heartbreaking, really.”

“So, what are you saying? Do you have feelings for him?” Finn asked, patiently trying to understand.

“No! No… but there is something…” she confessed. “And I feel guilty about this, I feel like I’m betraying you. I know what he is.”

“No, don’t be… I won’t pretend to understand what you’re telling me, but I know that sometimes our feelings get out of control.” he said.

“But one thing’s for sure, it doesn't matter what it is, he is a monster and I will fight him if I have to. I will never let him hurt my friends ever again.”

“That’s the Rey I know!” Finn grinned, proud.

“Thank you, Finn… If you ever need to talk, I’ll listen too.” she offered.

“I might, someday…” he simply said, but she noticed a sadness in his voice that hadn’t been there before.


	5. Allies, New and Old

In the aftermath of their victory, some systems got bolder after hearing about the rebel’s triumph. So much so that the Rebellion received an invitation from one of Leia’s many allies to settle at the planet of Lasan. Located in the Outer Rim, the system was governed by what remained of the Lasan High Honor Guard after they got decimated by the Empire over three decades ago. That incident made the surviving population hate the Empire or any form of its reincarnation. They were welcomed by the leaders in secret, so they wouldn’t draw attention of the locals, afraid of anyone willing to give away their location to First Order informants. Also, they were eager to meet the apprentice of the great Luke Skywalker.

Lasan proved to be ideal, its location being remote enough for them to hide and its civilisation big enough to provide them with the resources they needed to establish a more permanent base. They could settle, for the moment.

One afternoon, Rose was fixing yet another machine with BB-8 as Poe and Finn were talking to each other excitedly. Finn had a smile on his face that he kept only for when he spoke to Poe.

Images of her adventures so far were playing in her head as Rey watched her friends from afar. It warmed her heart to be together, but it was bittersweet. She thought about those who were gone: Han, Leia and especially Luke. Their time together hadn’t been exactly peaceful. Not at all really. Once she found out what he did to Ben, she was outraged with injustice, but now she regretted having parted with him in such unfriendly terms.

As if on cue, she sensed something stirring in the Force and Luke’s ghost appeared in front of her.

“Master Skywalker!” she exclaimed, startled. She had studied about Force ghosts, but to actually see him was indeed surprising.

“Hello, Rey.” he smiled at her with his sharp blue eyes. “I’m so happy to see you again.”

“Master… I-I… I’m sorry, I don’t know where to start, there’s so much I want to say...” she stuttered. 

“Why don’t you let me...” he sighed. “Rey, I owe you an apology. I didn’t treat you with the respect that you deserved. I should have helped you then.”

“Please, you did help me… you helped us...” she shyly replied.

“Will you forgive an old man who was too blind to see the Light?” Luke inquired with a smile and sad eyes.

“There’s nothing to forgive.” she told him, but he gave her a questioning look. “Of course, master.” She paused for a second, as her emotions took over. “I’m sorry too! I should have listened to you! You were right, it didn’t go the way I thought it would...” she confessed and it suddenly hit her all at once. “I feel so alone… I don’t understand this… I do want to be a Jedi, but as it turns out: I don’t know what I’m doing!” The stubborn tears stung her eyes.

“Oh, no, Rey, don’t say that. Look at all you have achieved. You led the Rebellion to their first victory. You built your own lightsaber. You are the Spark, Rey… and, by the way, no one really knows what they’re doing. We just do what we can and hope for the best.”

She gazed at him, letting his honest words reach her heart.

“Yes, being a Jedi can be very lonely.” he continued. “But remember Leia’s advice: never give up on those you love for anything in the entire galaxy. I wish I understood that when I was alive, when I could still save him…”

“Ben…” she whispered. “I tried to help him, but he is gone... forever…”

“It is not your fault, Rey.” Luke replied and the grief coursing through his words was almost palpable.

“Master, may I ask you something?” she recomposed herself. “You once spoke of the Balance. Will you tell me more?”

“The Balance in the Force has been interpreted in many ways through the ages. But it seems to me that you have your own theory about it.”

“Well, I… I believe that the Force shouldn’t be divided. There shouldn’t be a clear separation between Light and Dark.” she started.

“Go on...” he said, interested.

“Why should we fight the Darkness when all of us have a little of it inside us, no matter how much Light there is. And isn’t that what makes the Light shine brighter, anyway?”

“Yes...” he encouraged her.

“The darksiders are as much a part of the Force as we are. We shouldn’t fight them, we should all learn from each other.” she paused, catching her breath, her confidence growing. “Separation only causes dissonance. Wasn’t the fear of the Darkside what caused the rift between you and Ben?”

Luke hesitated for a moment, she had touched a sore topic.

“Yes, Rey, it was…” he pondered. “My mistake exactly. Fear, like my master warned me about. Because of it, I caused in Ben the very thing I was trying so hard to avoid. It was only by letting go of it that I opened myself up to the Force again. You are right, Rey, and you should continue down that path.”

“I will, master…” she promised him.

Luke chuckled. “ _ Master _ … I haven’t done much to deserve to be called that by you. Even though I’m not responsible for it, I’m proud of the Jedi you’ve become.”

“Thank you, master, it means a lot to me.”

“Before I go, may I see the weapon, Rey? Will you show it to me?” Luke smiled.

She grinned and took her stance. One at a time, she ignited the blades and her weapon roared with the unmistakable sound of a kryber crystal being lit inside a lightsaber.

“It suits you. I’m glad that my father’s lightsaber was transformed into such a brilliant weapon, and in the hands of my last and greatest apprentice. The Force will be with you. Always.”

As he faded away, she was left with tears in her eyes.

***

At the Throne Room, there was a deafening silence. The throne itself was empty; its owner was kneeling on the floor, straining in a strange position, unable to move. Caster Ren stepped forward, with a furious expression on his face. The other Knights were holding out their hands at Kylo Ren, freezing him in place.

“The Knights of Ren...” Caster Ren stated. “do not follow weak leaders.”

“Traitors...” Kylo managed to say, glaring at him. He cursed himself for not having sensed it. He had lost them, he had lost everything.

“Traitors? You dare call  _ us _ traitors?!” Jorya Ren sputtered, stepping towards him. Suddenly, he felt her trying to breach into his mind. Unable to resist their combined powers, Kylo felt his memory be stolen from him.

“It’s true! Hux was right!” she whispered as she shared with the others what she stole from Kylo.

“You murdered Lord Snoke and the Praetorians.” Bama Ren accused, not wanting to believe it.

“You sided with the Jedi!” continued Ailla Ren.

“You think you can betray the First Order and live?” Caster approached him with his weapon in hand, ready to execute Kylo.

He wasn’t going to die like that, betrayed by his own Knights. As Caster placed his blade close to his neck, all his self-loathing gave place to instinct as Kylo summoned the Dark Side. The blessed Darkness took over his mind and body and amplified his power tenfold. Finally, he pushed back in a shockwave, hitting all of them and knocking some of them unconscious. Kylo swiftly got up to escape; he knew he wasn’t going to be able to withstand their combined powers again.

As he evaded the room, he could hear Jorya shouting orders for the passing stormtroopers to shoot him. They hesitated, as they were not exactly accustomed to shooting at their Supreme Leader. That moment of doubt was enough for Kylo to knock them back as he frantically rushed to the hangar.

He was almost there. But as he turned the last corner, he sensed danger. His reflex made him swerve, but was still struck with a sharp, burning pain. Facing him, Caster Ren had the most satisfied expression as he held his dagger through Kylo’s chest.

“You will pay with your life…” Caster hissed.

But Caster’s blade didn’t go through Kylo’s heart thanks to his insight. As his flesh burned, Kylo called upon the Darkness again and his lightsaber drew a red circle in the air, amputating both of Caster Ren’s hands. The Knight bellowed in pain and shock as he stepped back erratically, waving his charred stumps. Kylo was going for the kill, but shots were fired and he had no choice but to keep running.

Kylo could feel his blood oozing out of his wound but remained focused as he had so many times in battle. Finally, he got to the hangar and boarded his Silencer. His vision was blurry and his head spinning, but still he managed to override the locks.

Hux got to the hanger, furious: “SHOOT HIM!!! SHOOT HIM!!!” he bellowed at everyone.

The remaining Knights arrived too late as Kylo had already taken off. Ailla and Sadako rushed to their ships to pursue but Bama instead made his way to one of the cannons and fired, damaging the ship.

Kylo felt the shot but had no choice. He launched the Silencer to lightspeed, disappearing into the stars.

“GO AFTER HIM! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? TRACK HIM!” shrieked Jorya Ren as she arrived at the hangar.

“Kylo Ren’s Tie Silencer cannot be tracked. The ship has a cloaking mechanism…” chided Hux between his teeth. His plan hadn’t gone exactly the way he expected. He had been able to convince Caster and Jorya to use whatever magic they possessed to steal the memory from Kylo, but the two idiots hadn’t manage to kill him. However, he had at least gotten rid of Ren, and now could place his chosen puppet in his stead.  _ If _ Kylo survived his wounds and the ship made it, he was still alone, with no allies and Hux had now the entire First Order and the Knights at his command.

***

The ship shook violently as it coursed through hyperspace to the last coordinate it had been set to go. Kylo cursed as he realised the severity of his situation, and feared he might not survive. A thousand alarms howled, accusing engine failure and hull breach. The pain that had been numbed by the adrenaline was beginning to surface. But somehow, the ship made it and, with a sudden stop, he saw a red planet appear in front of him.

Although the ship had gotten through lightspeed, the shaking got worse and even more alarms were off as it entered atmosphere. Ben tugged desperately at the controls but felt he was losing the ship. With a bold spin, he managed to avoid direct collision with a monolith. However, the ship stopped responding and, in a violent loop, it crashed into the woods.

A splinter of metal went right through his right leg, wrenching an agonizing scream from his throat. He was pinned to the seat and he could smell leaking fuel. Knowing he didn’t have long, he called upon the Force and pulled on the piece of metal. The blinding pain seemed enough to kill him, but he held onto consciousness and pushed through the agony, removing the splinter from his leg.

Crawling through the destruction, he dragged his body out of the ship and landed heavily on the forest floor, grunting in effort and extreme pain.

He was losing a lot of blood and was fighting hard to maintain alertness. Powering through as he always did, he got up, even as his wounded leg faltered. Panting, he managed to put a considerable distance between him and the shipwreck, before it was engulfed in a violent explosion. He was still alive, but soon, everything around him started to spin as he stumbled one more time before finally collapsing to the ground. As his vision faded to black, he felt a familiar presence but lost consciousness before he could recognize it.

***

Rey was practicing forms with her lightstaff, alone at the makeshift training ground. Her weapon felt like an extension of her body as she moved with grace and precision. She was becoming a better fighter now that she had her weapon and was learning how to better harness the Force to improve her movements. The first time she had done that, she had only her instincts to guide her; only a sense of self-protection and the her raw innate power.

The Force stirred in a familiar way. She smiled and turned around ready to greet him, but the troubled expression on Luke’s face stopped her.

“Master, what’s wrong?” she asked instead, worried.

“I need your help, Rey, most urgently. I need you to reopen the bond.” Luke said.

“W-what... the bond?” she stuttered.

“Ben is in mortal danger, Rey. Are you willing to show compassion for your greatest enemy?”

Her shock lasted for only a moment while she processed the information. Finally, instead of answering him, she closed her eyes and reopened the bond, reaching out to Ben. The Force took her to where he was, and him to her. When she opened her eyes, she gasped at the sight of the unconscious body of Ben Solo laying on the ground, blood oozing from underneath him.

Startled, she went to him and flipped him over gently, exposing hideous wounds under his left clavicle and on his right leg and cuts and bruises everywhere. Thinking quickly, she removed her arm wraps and tied them around his leg and around his shoulder as best she could. She hoped with all her might it would stop the bleeding until she could get to him.

“ _ Thank you, Rey. _ ” she heard Luke’s voice echo in her head as he faded away.

As the bond closed, she sprung into action, and rushed through the rebels to find Finn.

“Finn! Point me in the direction of a ship with a medical bay!” she spat out.

“Uh... oh, medical bay? Hum... that one!” Finn told her, looking at her weird.

“Thanks! No time to explain! I’ll be right back!” she shouted, turning around.

Leaving a confused Finn behind, Rey boarded the ship and let the Force guide her as she put in the coordinates. She immediately jumped to lightspeed, hoping she would make it in time.

When she arrived at the planet, she sensed him right away, his Force Signature weak and fading by the second. She didn’t know who could be watching so she effectively maneuvered her ship lower, away from sight. A large column of smoke gave away the shipwreck’s location. As fast as she could, she flew to where he was, feeling his presence approaching. The ship landed and she quickly ran to him. He was lying as she had left him and the bandages seemed to have kept him from bleeding to death. Being as big as he was, she assumed levitating would be the best, if not the only way to get him to her ship.  _ Just like lifting rocks _ , she thought to herself. Concentrating, she summoned the Force and it raised his unconscious body from the ground and slowly into the ship. Once inside, she placed him on the med bed. With agile moves, Rey ran up to the pilot’s seat and cleared the ship away from any trees before jumping into lightspeed, to the only coordinates she could think of.

Once they were safely away from the red planet, she hurried back to him. Ben was in really bad shape looking even paler than usual. Wasting no time, Rey removed his cape and it fell to the ground with a heavy thud. She then cut off what remained of his tunic and saw again the awful gaping wound on his upper left chest. She didn’t have time to blush at the realization that she would have to remove all of his clothes if she was going to treat him properly due to the urgency of the situation.

As quickly and as carefully as she could, she cut off his trousers as well, but left his underwear on, trying her best not to look. She exposed many other cuts and bruises until she got to the horrible wound on his leg and she wondered how he was even able to walk away from the ship at all.

Following the instructions, she secured him to the machine and put the breathing mask over his face and glued the heart monitor to his chest. Finally, she closed the lid and activated it, hoping it would be enough. Immediately, the tank flipped vertically and filled up with fluids. She heard a beep coming from the machines, marking his low, but steady heart rate.

She collapsed on a chair, sighing in relief. She had just saved Kylo,  _ Ben _ , he was right there, unconscious in a bacta tank. As she looked at her hands stained with his blood she wondered what could possibly have happened to him. Or worse, how in the stars was she going to explain this to everyone? But was she just supposed to let him die? Being his greatest enemy, she was supposed to, but when Luke had asked her to save his life, she never hesitated.

Evidently, she couldn’t take him to the rebel base, everyone would panic. So she took him to the only place she knew they would both be safe: Ahch-To Island.

As the ship came out of light speed, she was struck by memories of Luke and everything he represented, how they struggled with each other, how she left, angry, and how he sacrificed himself to save everything in the end.

The ship landed and she turned off the engines. She paused for a moment, gathering her strength. As soon as she walked outside, the harsh winds brought her that familiar ocean smell. A noise made her turn around: two caretakers were passing by, carrying a cart full of vegetables and frowned in recognition when they saw her. Rey figured it was better to stay inside and take care of Ben.

He was stable for now, but she felt a pang of hurt in her chest to see him like this. His wounds were vast, and he had lost a dangerous amount of blood. She watched as his languid body floated in the water while the machines worked on his injuries. He looked so vulnerable, so different from Kylo Ren.  _ That’s who he is, never forget _ , she thought to herself.

Suddenly she remembered his lightsaber. It would be wise to take it before he woke up, she knew better than to have him armed. He was too dangerous, he couldn’t be trusted. She gathered it from the floor, unhooking it from his belt, and clipped it together with her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Ben! He's ok tho...  
> Also, I love uncle Luke!


	6. Ahch-To Island

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey to the rescue! And will they finally sort things out? Also, porgs!

She sat by his side for three days, constantly checking the tank to see if it was working properly. His body seemed to be healing with the constant care of the machine, but he still looked unwell. She hoped then that it would do its job, or else she was going to have to heal his injuries with only bacta patches. It was strange to see him up close like that again. His odd features were soften by his slumber, making him look so young.

She checked in with the Rebellion letting them know that she was well and safe. If Finn was mad at her because she had left so suddenly, he didn’t let out. Neither did he ask her about why she had left so suddenly and she was thankful for that. Something told her, however, that this conversation was only being postponed. He was eager to tell her that the First Order had announced that Kylo Ren was a traitor and was wanted dead or alive to which she replied with only a nod.

By the end of the third day, she was reading beside Ben, casually going through the pages of one of the books she took from this very island, when she felt his consciousness stir through their bond. Wide-eyed, she approached the tank, doubting her senses: he was supposed to be sedated. Her hand reached up and, as soon as she touched the glass, he opened his eyes. Gasping, she retreated as he began to flounder about in the water. He punched violently at the glass and seemed to be struggling to breathe, so she pushed the emergency button and the tank opened up, letting all the fluids out along with him.

She tried to catch him but they both slipped to the floor. Disoriented and frightened, he retreated to the corner and began to claw at his face and chest, ripping off his breather and the heart monitor.

“Ben! Calm down! It’s me! Please, calm down!” exclaimed Rey, crawling closer to him with caution.

Panting and coughing, it took him a while until his unfocused eyes could see her. They darted between hers, widening with surprise:

“Rey? You...” he managed to say after a moment, his voice croaky.

“It’s alright, Ben, you’re safe.” she reassured him.

“How did you find me? How… ugh...” he mumbled as his head started to spin from the effort. Dizzy, he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall.

“Calm down, Ben, you were badly hurt. It’s alright, I brought you to a safe place, there’s no one else here.” she repeated, trying to calm down herself.

His mind slowly came back into awareness and he tried getting up on his own but slid on the wet floor.

“Breathe. Just breathe.” she approached him but he recoiled, still in fight-or-flight response.

“It’s alright, Ben.” she got up and calmly reached out her hand. “Let me help you up.”

Taking her advice, he drew deep breaths and calmed down a little. Finally, he took her hand. As soon as he was on his feet, his head started to spin again and he faltered. She shouldered him despite of his large frame and led him to the med bed. As his weight fell on the mattress, the pain from the recent wounds stung his nerves, making him grunt.

She cradled his head and put a pillow under it, covering him with a series of warm towels. His wounds were already closed but the new skin still seemed sore. More scars for his collection, she thought.

“Are you in pain?” she asked.

Breathing hard and still drowsy, he didn’t answer at first. He tried to school his face back into his mask, but the pain showed no sign of subsiding and he finally nodded, his expression softening.

“I can give you this…” Rey offered him a simple painkiller. He nodded again as his agony increased.

She pressed the shot to his arm and pushed the button. He winced but then his eyes fluttered closed and he sighed in relief. She watched as his breath steadied, and hoped that the tank had been able to heal him, despite the premature interruption.

When she looked at him again he had already fallen asleep. She patted a towel against his skin, and, in a reflex that she was unable to restrain, she brushed one strand of hair away from his face.

Huffing, she sat back down on her chair and waited.

***

The next day, Rey woke up to an empty bed before her. Startled, she jumped up and began to look for him. At the cockpit, she found him sitting at the pilot’s chair staring outside the window, his cape wrapped around his shoulders.

“Ben?” she called with caution.

Slowly, he turned the chair around to face her, allowing her to look at him properly for the first time. He looked miserable and pale, even more so. His hair was disheveled and there were dark circles around his eyes. He was hunching, cradling his arm to his wound. Seeing him in front of her again was so strange, and it made her nervous.

He was also surprised to see her again, especially in this situation. The sight of her never failed to affect him. His compassion for her stirred again in his heart against his will. She had saved him, he concluded, tended to his wounds after the attempt on his life. There they were again, in a complicated situation, not knowing how the other was going to react.

“How are you feeling?” Rey finally broke the silence.

“How did you find me?” Ben asked instead, with his voice sounding serious and melancholic.

“I saw you, through our bond...” she hesitated to tell the whole truth. But if he hadn’t believed her, he didn’t let out.

“Why save me? Why not just let me die?” he asked her, his tone dry but never threatening.

She just stared at him trying to come up with a good answer, but she realised she didn’t have one. So she told the truth:

“Believe it or not, Ben, I don’t want you to die.”

He didn’t comment on that. “Where is my lightsaber?” he asked instead.

“It’s safe. I have it... and I’m keeping it.” she said carefully. She was ready for him to lose his temper at any moment and that seemed like a good one. But instead he just turned around to stare at the island through the cockpit window. His emotions were hard to read, but there was definitely something different.

“Ahch-To Island.” he squinted his eyes at the light. “This is where he was all this time.”

“Ben, what happened? The First Order says you are a traitor now, there’s a bounty on your head.” she tried.

The mention of the recent events made his head hurt and he clenched his fists in an attempt to control his thoughts. He never faced her as he told her about Hux’ manipulation leading to the Knight’s betrayal.

There was anger in his heart, after all, he had just suffered a coup that had taken everything he had been working for all this time. But it wasn’t his usual fury, rampant and violent. It was mingled with doubt and hesitation. And the stifling feeling of regret began to seep through his veins like poison.

He turned to look at her. Her Force Signature shone bright with her Light and he couldn’t help but admire that: her talent and strength. A Light that he was always supposed to have but never would. And her eyes, those eyes that haunted him for so long were now staring back at him.

“How are you feeling? Are you in pain?” she asked again.

“I’m not in pain.” he answered finally, talking only about his physical body.

She felt it, she could see it. His Darkness enveloping his Force Signature with pitch black shadows. However, it didn’t seem threatening, but rather rich and powerful. A darkness she decided she didn’t fear anymore. And those dark eyes that could gazed through her soul, every time, were doing exactly that.

Suddenly, she remembered the dreams that she had had and blushed violently as she eyed his naked torso wrapped around his cape. Was she always going to be seeing that?

“You still need some time to recover, you lost a lot of blood. We’ll be staying here for a while. There are some clothes back there, I’ll leave you to it.” she said averting her gaze.

“Am I your prisoner? Am I under arrest?” he asked keeping his composure. If she intended to turn him over to the Rebellion he was going to have to do something about it.

“No and no.” she answered.

“So, what is this then?” he insisted, narrowing his eyes.

“So far it has been a rescue mission, but now, I don’t know.” she shrugged.

***

That night she came over to see him. Sensing her approaching, he stood up to meet her. She noticed that he had taken a simple dark grey sleeveless shirt and black pants from among the clothes she had offered that didn’t match at all with his imposing cape, which he still kept around his shoulders. Also, he wasn’t wearing his gloves. He didn’t look at all like a Supreme Leader at all, she thought, but she preferred it that way.

“How’s the leg?” Rey asked.

“Healed.” Ben replied. He had been lucky that no bones had been broken and the tank was able to heal his wounds enough for him to walk, even if he was limping.

“I need to apply bacta patches to the wound on your chest.” she told him.

“You don’t have to.” he said, in a lower tone than usual.

“Yes, I do. You can’t do it properly with that arm.”

He nodded softly and sat back down. She did her best not to blush as he removed his cape and shirt. Seeing him like that wasn’t anything new, but she couldn't help her reaction.

The animosity that was supposed to be there between them was missing, even if they still had much to say to each other. His promise of destroying her seemed all the more ridiculous now, and so did the war. He was watching her with sad eyes as she moved closer and put the patches on the table. She took one and opened it to apply it on his chest. Her closeness reminded him that she smelled lovely, like flowers and the sun. His eyes gazed at her face and her hair, that was tied into her usual three buns. Finally, his glance trickled down to her arm where he noticed a odd-shaped scar. He guessed she must have gotten it from their fight with the Praetorians.

She pressed the patch against his wound and her fingers made contact with his skin...

_Green planet, lots of trees. There was a building in the distance. It was a building made of stone and there were people going in and out of it. Some of them had holobooks, some were sparing with lightsabers, some were in deep meditation. They could feel the Force was strong in this place, but more so, it was balanced._

She snatched her hand away as if it was burning.

“Did you see that?” she gasped, stepping back, with too much emotion in her voice.

“Yes.” he was alarmed to realise that these visions were not done with them. “Again a vision of the future. It looked like a temple.”

“My temple...” it wasn’t a question.

“The future is always changing, it’s hard to say.” he got up and gestured to the patch that she was still holding. “I’d better do this myself.”

“Yes, of course...” she handed it to him and left as quickly as she could.

***

They spent the next few days neither avoiding each other nor seeking each other’s company. They kept it polite and brief when they spoke, mostly practical things when they met for meals, which they always did. The truth was that they had much to talk about after they had shared a vision once again, but neither one dared to broach the subject, too afraid cross the line.

She was sure that her rejection the last time they had seen each other had cemented their relationship as enemies for good. Thus his calm and restrained demeanor surprised her. She had expected him to be angry, to berate her all the time, throw tantrums, or just straight up try and kill her. But instead, he did a lot of brooding and seemed melancholic, keeping to himself mostly.

His conflict was happening inside his mind. The silent storm, roaring quietly inside. He had lost everything and he wasn’t sure how it made him feel. And to make matters worse, her rejection the last time they had seen each other was still raw. He was certain she despised him for everything, and was unsure how to deal with this now that they were together again.

***

Once he was certain his leg was back to normal, he left the ship and started to explore the island. One morning, he saw her walking towards one of the platforms. He was going to avert his gaze when he heard the unmistakable sound of a lightsaber igniting, twice. _A light staff_ , he thought to himself. Genuinely interested in the weapon, he approached her:

“It’s beautiful.” he complimented.

“Hum, thanks...” she replied, awkwardly. “I built it with my friend, Rose...” she hesitated again as to how much to tell him. What did it matter to him who she built it with, who her friends were? Not long ago, he was actively trying to kill them. Not to mention the staff had been built from the left over parts of his grandfather's lightsaber, the one he once wanted so bad to take from her. If he was going to be mad and throw a tantrum, it would be now.

“Tell me how.” he was sincerely intrigued. He sensed her hesitation and added: “I would like to know how you built it.” he clarified.

 _Oh, kriff it, let him be mad, I’m just going to tell him_ , she decided she didn’t care.

“The Skywalker’s lightsaber broke in two by the strength of both our Force-pulls, so did its kryber crystal, I salvaged what I could. I did some research on how to build one, so I decided to build a staff, seeing as I had always fought with one and had two crystal halves. Rose helped me with the electrical part, a lot actually.” She told him.

The memory of that day stung him, but he promptly ignored it. “It suits you.” he complimented in honesty. “It seems that there’s nothing you can’t do. May I see it?”

She scoffed: “No way! I’m not going to just hand you my weapon!”

“If I wanted to kill you you’d be dead already.” he observed, matter-of-factly.

Rey rolled her eyes and thought she’d say something about how she could overpower him every time, but instead turned off the staff and handed it to him. Ben took a step back and ignited the two blades. She could see how it intrigued him. Again another unexpected reaction.

“Fascinating... The way you made the two halves work together.” Ben observed.

“I’ve always been good at salvaging stuff, I guess.” Rey mused. “I only know a few forms to practice, I need to learn more about it...”

“I know quite a lot of them.” he said absentmindedly. But suddenly he realised it had been a stupid thing to say. He didn’t know how this was going to end, but he was sure it was going to end badly, just like everything had so far. And she had made it clear that she didn’t want his help.

Finally, he gave the weapon a graceful spin before turning it off and giving it back to her. Unsure, they stared each other down until she spoke:

“Come on, I’ll show you around.”

***

Later that night, Ben met her next to her hut. Rey had set up a fire and was busy making dinner. A fish was roasting along with some vegetables. He found it strange to see her doing mundane chores, a familiarity that he felt he was intruding.

“Hungry?” she asked him as he approached.

“Yes.” he replied shyly.

“Here...” she handed him a bowl and he thanked her.

She ate like an animal, he noticed, no table manners at all. But rather than being appalled, he found it was quite adorable. Which was something he hadn’t thought of anything in a long time, if ever. She caught him staring and he quickly looked away.

“Fwhat?” she asked with a mouth full of food, unabashed.

“Nothing. I was wondering about your life back in Jakku.” he quickly thought up.

“Well, you’ve seen most of it.” she pondered, remembering when he got inside her head, without her permission. “Just trying to survive, waiting for my family…” pausing, she recalled what they talked about when they had last seen each other. “I suppose I should thank you... for helping me remember them...”

He just nodded, but felt bad. Once he wanted to use that information to get her to join him, but now the thought of doing something like that made him sick.

“I’m sorry that you suffered like that.” he offered.

“No, I can’t say that, others have had it so much worse.” she replied.

“It doesn’t matter what others lived, pain is pain.”

She weighed on his words, eyeing him curiously. After a moment of silence she continued: “What about you?”

“What about me?” he queried, furrowing his brows.

“How was your life before all this? How was your childhood?” asked Rey, innocently.

“I’d rather not talk about that.” Ben replied in a much more serious tone.

“Alright, don’t tell me... I’m just trying to make conversation...”

“Ask me something else then.”

“Where were you born?” she was quick.

He chewed on his lips. She was about to ask a different question when he finally answered:

“Chandrila.”

“Is it green?” her eyes sparkled.

“Yes. Very.” he told her, trying not to remember it so much and didn’t say anything else.

“Sounds beautiful... I love green and water, but not all waters. I like it when it rains, I like lakes and rivers, but I don’t like oceans. They are too cold and restless. Does Chandrila have lakes?” she mused, gazing at the planet’s horizon.

“Yes.” he listened to her the same way he did when they had their conversations through the bond. Even though it had been brief, he was reminded how much he had begun to enjoy them, and that he had missed them.

She looked at him then, his head was down and his eyes lost, far away, framed by his dark mane. Surely he must have been ruminating about how he would get revenge against those who had betrayed him and take back the power. She wondered what she was going to do with him, or even if there was such a thing. She was ready for him to snap at any time, to go back to his old self.

After a while, he got up and mumbled a shy thank you for the food and goodnight, and headed back to the ship.

***

The next day, Rey found him brooding at the edge of a cliff, next to the ship. She sat beside him and handed him a protein bar, which he accepted and ate it promptly. They just stared at the ocean for a while, hearing the porgs chirping in the distance.

“How are you feeling?” she asked.

“Better.” he said, trying his left arm. “This island. I can feel that he was here for a long time.”

“Yes, ever since... his temple was destroyed.” she said, guarded.

“I wanted to find him, I wanted to kill him.” his voice trailed off, the absence of hatred in his heart intriguing him.

“He never would have let you, and even if you had succeeded, you wouldn’t have won.” asserted Rey.

“He didn’t want to train you, did he?” Ben guessed, quite precisely.

“No, he refused. He said that the Jedi had to end.” Rey had no reason to lie to him or try and justify Luke’s actions.

“Finally something we agree on.” he pondered.

“But in the end, he sacrificed himself to save us from you. And it worked.” she challenged him.

“Indeed.” he agreed, causing her to gaze at him, looking for sarcasm, but found none.

“I was angry at him too, you know… for what he did to you. That’s why I came to you… that day…” she started, but realized that she didn’t quite know how to phrase it. “There was so much misunderstanding between the two of you…”

Ben faced her for the first time since they started the conversation and the sudden change in his mood made her recoil. “Misunderstanding? He tried to murder me in my sleep.” Ben sneered bitterly.

“He was never going to do it, Ben… he said that it passed like a fleeting thought, and he was left with regret and…”

“As well he should be!” he interrupted, his voice so bitter. “Full of regret and broken. Just like me...”

 _Here it comes_ , she thought. But after he didn’t storm away back to the ship like she expected, she paused for a moment, and took a centering breath. “I’m sorry… it’s none of my business…” she had once made the mistake to interfere in his drama and she wasn’t planning on repeating it.

He eyed her swiftly, surprised at his own reaction, and sighed also, shoving away the emotions summoned by the sore topic.

“So, what now, Ben. What are you going to do? What is it that you want?” She had to know. If he was going to keep trying to murder everyone, she would have to do something about it.

“Want... I don’t think I ever really wanted anything in my life, it seemed that I’ve only followed my destiny, my legacy.” he confessed, with his perpetually woeful eyes.

“Is that what you were doing all this time? Following your destiny?” she couldn’t help but reject that thought. That sounded so wrong, insufficient to explain why.

“As the heir of Darth Vader, I thought it was my destiny to have all that power. The Darkside is full of it, and it was within my grasp.” he continued.

“Is that why you did it? Is that why you killed your father? So you’d be more powerful?” her question was devoid of anger this time, she just wanted to understand. Maybe now he would answer.

“Yes.” his voice no more than a whisper.

“Did it work?”

“No.” something coiled in his chest, making it hard to breathe. “The pull to Light was severed and I went deeper into the Darkness, but it didn’t make me stronger. It shattered my soul.” his confession made her frown as she listened.

“Do you regret it?”

The hardest and the easiest question he had ever had to answer, and his churning emotions flared in his face.

“I regret everything. Everything I’ve ever done in my entire life. The good things, the bad things. I regret it all.” his voice seethed with bitterness. “It was all wrong from the start. And now I have so much blood on my hands that there is no turning back. There is no forgiveness for me, so I would never seek it. My sins are too great.”

“What? It is makes no sense. Are you saying it’s too hard so you won’t even try?” she countered.

“No, I am saying is that there is nothing I could possibly do that could ever atone for my crimes.” he explained, every word coming out slowly out of his mouth. “I could never erase the pain I caused, no matter what I do from now on. Also, there is no one left to forgive me.”

She thought about Leia. He continued:

“Why would I go back to the Light? It would only expose my sins. In the Dark, they are shrouded, hidden from sight. In the Dark, my crimes don’t matter.”

“You’re wrong…” she insisted, and wondered why she still hoped.

“Am I?” he countered. “Would _you_ be willing to forgive what I’ve done?” he wasn’t asking, he was making a point.

“I was until you asked me to let my friends die. I was until you _chose_ to keep shutting out the Light even after you were free of your abuser.” she challenged him, unable to repress the resentment in her voice.

Her words echoed in the silence that fell between them. They evoked the painful memory of that day when they were both so sure about one another only to realize soon after they were completely mistaken.

He got up then, leaving her and heading back into the darkness of the ship.

***

The construction carved into the mountain was beautiful and mysterious. Ben could feel the Force was strong in the first Jedi Temple. Rey had asked him to follow her there, she wanted to show him that place. At the center, the shallow pool of water was completely still. Rey stood at the other side and finally asked him:

“Ben, what do you know about the Balance in the Force?”

He blinked while elaborating for a moment before answering:

“There was a prophecy, long ago, it involved my grandfather, but it has proven to be false, the prophecy at least. Why do you want to know?” Ben asked, curious.

“It was something Master Skywalker said. He spoke of the Balance, life and death, Light and Dark.” She saw the frown in his face at the mention of his uncle’s name, but she ignored it. “In my studies, I found only this very clear separation between the Lightside and the Dark. But somehow it doesn’t make sense to me.”

“How so?” he furrowed his brows lightly.

“I don’t think there should be one, I believe we are all part of the Force, and this separation has done nothing but harm.”

He reflected briefly on her words:

“I know that the Force hasn’t always been divided. Long ago, there was only the Force, no sides. I know also of the Grey Jedi. They were Force-users who could use both Light and Dark, never belonging to either. They wielded the power of the Dark side, but were not corrupted by it, nor were they blinded by the Light side, although being skilled through it.”

She listened to him with great interest. She knew that there was more to it.

“But they were only a minority. Most Force-sensitives aligned very clearly to either Dark or Light.” he continued.

“How did the separation come to be?” asked Rey.

“Some believed they should harness the power to defend themselves, while others considered it to be too dangerous. That has been the cause of many wars and conflicts throughout the ages.”

“That’s my point exactly! Why not have an Order that would embrace all, instead of dismissing each other as misguided or evil?” Rey argued.

“That sounds naive and utopian.” observed Ben.

“Maybe.” she admitted. “But if I am to rebuild the Jedi Order then that’s how it’s going to be. I see no other way of achieving true peace.”

“It’s impossible to get everyone to agree.” he countered.

“Not agree, work together.” she simply stated. “Segregation creates fear and fear creates hatred and hatred consumes everything. Isn’t that what happened to you?” that last part escaped her mouth before she could stop it.

“What happened to me was much more complicated than that.” her words hit him like a blow to the chest but he was able to keep his composure. “But it doesn’t matter, it was all for nothing, it’s all over now.”

“No, Ben, it’s not over. The war is still on and all of our lives are in danger. I have sensed a change in you. I don’t believe that Hux was able to manipulate your Knights against you with just the information about Snoke’s death. There’s more to it, isn’t there? Something you are not telling me. Your conflict is greater than ever.” she challenged him, but her voice was calm.

“Why do you want to know, Rey? Do you still think you can bring me back to the Light?” countered Ben, his voice just as calm as hers.

“No, Ben, I think we are past that.” conceded Rey. “But it seems to me that now we have a common enemy. We were on opposite sides of the war, but not anymore.”

His face was unreadable even as he dared to look into her eyes.

“I could never fight for the Rebellion. Do you think I could simply walk into the Rebel Base? And, even if I wanted to, do you think they would let me anywhere near them? Do you think they would ever trust me? And then what? We win and we’ll hold hands and be friends? They will have me executed, no doubt.” he stated.

“They would do no such thing!” she took a breath. “Ben, the _Rebellion_ … it’s just us! I mean, it’s me, Poe, Finn, Rose and a few others. The rest has been wiped out as you well know... It would be a truce. An alliance.” she insisted.

He quickly tried to hide when a flicker of hesitation registered in his face, but not before she saw it.

“I told you: if I step into the Light, it will destroy me, I wouldn’t survive it.” he repeated, back to his neutral expression.

“This is not about the Light or the Dark. This is about ending the war.”

“I can’t, Rey. I won’t.” he said categorically.

She held his gaze. For a second there, she thought she had seen it in him. But once more, their paths were drifting apart and she lamented that from the bottom of her heart.

“I believe the temple that we saw in that vision was my temple. And I am convinced that the Balance in the Force can be reached. I will end this war and rebuild the Jedi Order.” she had hope, and her Light shone brightly inside her, giving her strength.

He could feel the disappointment in her, the same that hit him when she closed the door on him, only a few months ago.

“I’m going back tomorrow. I’ve been away for too long already.” she continued. He was about to say something when she added. “And you’re staying here.”

“What?!” he had now become angry for the first time.

“You are the most dangerous person in the galaxy, a wanted war criminal, from both sides. If you think I’m going to let you free to wander around the galaxy, think again.”

“You can’t just leave me here.”

“I can and I will.”

He stared at her shocked with incredulity as she walked away.


	7. The Attack

Rey was staring absentmindedly as her ship made its way through hyperspace. Once again he had disappointed her. But after all that happened, she couldn’t hope for anything different. She was trying hard to ignore what leaving him again did to her. But at least now he wouldn’t hurt anyone else; he was safe in Ahch-To and she still had his lightsaber.

She had mumbled a weak goodbye as she boarded the ship that morning, barely even looking at him. She wished now she had said it properly.  _ With what? A kiss?  _ she scolded herself. He never said anything, his face stayed impassive as she took off.

The familiar beep of the ship’s computer interrupted her thoughts. She was back now, with her friends. She landed quickly and saw the small welcome committee waiting for her: Chewie, Poe, Finn, Rose and the droids.

She hugged Chewie, Poe and Rose for longer than she was used to.

“Good to have you back, my friend.” Poe smiled warmly at her. 

“We missed you!” Rose greeted her.

“I missed you too…” said Rey.

Finn didn’t say anything, he just held her for a while, it was like he knew she was troubled, and she was thankful for that.

***

The days that followed were busy with many preparations for the upcoming battles. The ever growing Rebellion was working into getting more support from as many systems as they could. They made quick diplomatic meetings with leaders and they were impressed to see the Last Jedi. She was their hope. The Rebel Base at Lasar had become a solid harbor for the arriving ally troops.

Rey was trying her best to go back to normal, whatever that was. If before her mind slipped in a thought of Ben, now it was constant. She kept the bond open but they never connected since the last time. Still she wondered if he was going to be alright in Ahch-To, or if she had even made the right decision to leave him there at all. She was hesitant to tell her friends what happened, not even knowing where to start. But it would have to wait, they had more urgent problems.

The First Order had announced Caster Ren as their new Supreme Leader after Kylo Ren’s quick rise and fall. He was one of the Knights of Ren, she learned, and had promised to mercilessly crush anyone who stood against the First Order.

At the hangar, Finn and Rey were telling Rose the story about when they first met. Rey chuckled, remembering when he tried to save her at the outpost in Jakku and how she ended up saving him.

“You did destroy that fighter…” she granted, shooting a meaningful look at Rose.

“I did a lot more than that!” he laughed.

Suddenly, their laughter was interrupted by a blaring alarm and the voice of lieutenant Connix over the speaker:

“ATTENTION! ATTENTION! First Order scouts approaching. I repeat: First Order scouts approaching. Begin evacuation procedures.”

“At your post, everyone, look alive people, this is it!” shouted Poe, coming out of the command room from behind them.

“Guys, make sure everyone gets on board! I’ll go cover you! Come on, BB-8!” he called as the droid followed him to his ship.

“How did they find us?” asked Finn, in disbelief.

“It was only a matter of time, we are prepared for this!” Rose shouted while they dashed across the hangar.

The Rebel base became alive as each rebel jumped to action, manning the few ships and packing the essentials.

Chewie roared at Rey as she approached the Millenium Falcon telling everyone to hurry. But then she halted. Looking back at the hangar door, she spotted the scouts closing in on the horizon. They were considerably large and they were in greater number than the rickety ships the rebels had managed to get. She watched as Poe’s ship took of and felt a pang of worry to her heart for him.

“Finn! We have to go help him!” she yelled, pointing at the horizon.

Finn gazed at the ships and nodded: “Rose, can you…”

“I’m on it, guys! Go!” Rose shouted.

Wasting no more time, they hurried to the ion cannons.

“Guys! What are you doing? Board the ships!” Poe’s voice crackled over the comm.

“We’ll cover you!” Finn said.

“You can’t do this alone, Poe!” Rey shouted.

Poe was all by himself in the air in front of at least thirty ships. It was a bold move even for a pilot such as him, seeing as the ship he was flying was not as agile as an X-Wing. He gripped the controls tighter, ready to sacrifice himself for his soldiers if he had to.

As the first rebel ship was off, the scouts engaged Poe. He maneuvered his fighter with his usual dexterity and was able to lure away at least half of the First Order’s ships with him.

The battle ensued violently as the other half shot at the base, hitting some of the rebels that were on the ground. Rey and Finn managed to take down some of the crafts but she feared this would be a confrontation where the rebels would not come out victorious.

Unfortunately for them, she was right. They were being overwhelmed again. 

“Connix! Tell me!” shouted Poe over the comm.

“Still a few to go, Poe!” Lieutenant Connix answered.

“Copy that! Go, Connix! Don’t wait for us!” Poe said twisting his ship to avoid another flurry of shots. “Rose? The Falcon?”

“We’re waiting for you guys!” answered Rose.

“Don’t… argh…” he started but was interrupted by a shot that almost hit him. BB-8 beeped nervously.

Rey watched in fear as the scouts swarmed over Poe’s ship. She promptly pointed the cannon to try and help him. She managed to take down a few of them but Poe was too far.

“Poe! Come back here!” Finn shouted, fearing for his life.

“I can’t shake them all, guys! Go! Leave!”

“We won’t leave you, Poe!” Rey shouted, twisting the cannon again to target a passing ship.

She shot at it one but missed it, Poe was too far, there was no time. They watched in horror the scouts closing in, their shots almost reaching Poe.

“POE!!!” Finn screamed.

It all happened very fast. Rey witnessed as the scout that was about to shoot Poe’s ship got destroyed by an unidentified flurry of laser shots. Those were followed by a strange kind of X-Wing that passed them by, at incredible speed. The ship gracefully maneuvered back to the battle and began firing and destroying many other scouts. And then, doubting her own senses, she felt his presence.

“Poe, are you alright!? You can’t do this to me!” Finn yelled desperately over the comm.

“Who is that?! Where did that come from?! Is that… an X-Wing?” Poe exclaimed, confused.

“Ben...” whispered Rey, not paying attention to the men.

Neither had time to talk anymore as the battled roared around them.

The rogue X-Wing seemed to be on their side. Its pilot showed tremendous skill at flying, destroying many enemy crafts, until the few ships that were left retreated for another run.

Still in shock, Rey witnessed the X-Wing landing on the field in front of the open gate, and Ben getting out of the cockpit. She abandoned the cannon and ran over to him and when she got there, they locked eyes. She was trying to wrap her head around the fact that he was there at all and what he had just done.

“The scouts… we can take them down.” he simply said.

She knew what he had in mind and she knew they could do it. Looking at the horizon, the two figures held hands, facing the approaching ships.

Poe shouted over the comm: “Rey, what are you doing? We have to go!”

“Poe, we can do it! We can take them down!” she shouted back.

“What!?” Poe was in utter confusion.

“Who the kriff is that!?” Finn’s voice sputtered over the comm.

“Please, guys, just trust me...”

There was no time for a reply as the scouts fired at them. At the same time, Ben and Rey held out their hands and stopped the beams of energy on the air. Their combined powers held the blasts and the ships in an unnatural stillness, keeping it from hitting the Rebel Base.

Straining in great effort, they held each other’s hands even tighter. Ben started to push back as Rey did the same. The quivering beams started to weirdly recede back to the ships that had fired them. One final push and the beams shot back to the scout ships hitting each one dead in the center. The crafts were cut in half and started to come down on fire.

Due to the immense exertion, Rey and Ben collapsed to their knees. Panting, they embraced as they recovered. Their bodies had been drained to perform the act but at the same time were fed by their unified energy, and it felt like nothing ever had before.

The remaining rebels, including Finn and Poe, had witnessed what they had done. Rey and Ben were so caught up in the moment that it took some time for them to actually hear her friends shouting over the comm radio.

“It won’t be long until the High Command finds out what happened here. You need to leave. Now.” Ben told Rey and her eyes widened.

Finally, Poe and Finn approached them with an armed squad. They got up and separated, unwillingly.

“Don’t move, Ren! Rey, step aside...” shouted Poe as the soldiers pointed their guns at Ben.

Rey stepped forward and gestured peace: “I’m fine, guys, calm down. Everybody calm down...”

“I surrender.” Ben spoke firmly as he kneeled back down, putting his hands behind his head.

Everyone froze at that, until one rebel hesitantly reached for a pair of handcuffs and approached Kylo Ren, the Jedi Killer, the former Supreme Leader of the First Order. Shooting uncertain looks at the leaders, the rebel finally handcuffed him as the others never lowered their guns.

“Poe! We need to evacuate! I’ll take him on a separate ship! We’ll sort this out later.” Rey announced to everyone, desperate.

Poe was going to protest but was interrupted by the ground quaking at their feet. A Finalizer had just come out of light speed. His breath came out through his teeth and he announced:

“We’ll continue the evacuation! Get on your transports! Go before they can track us!” Poe shouted to the remaining soldiers, and turned to Rey. “Go, take him. We’ll meet at the rendezvous point.”

Ben got up and let himself be escorted by Rey back to the Base. Rey and Ben’s gaze never left each other as they passed by her astonished friends.

“What the kriff just happened?” asked Finn as they ran to board the ships.

***

As soon as they were in the ship and she closed the door, Ben removed his own restrains and they fell to the ground. They took the two seats and soon jumped to lightspeed as the remaining crafts did the same. Apparently they had managed to escape the First Order’s tracking, being small as they were. Sighing in relief, Rey got up from her seat and ran to the back of the ship, too excited to remain seated. Ben followed suit.

They faced each other then. She fought so hard not to rush to him and hug him, thrilled at what they had just done. Little did she know, he was doing the same.

“Ben, we just took down First Order’s scout ships...” her eyes sparkled.

“When we fought that day, I realized that together we are more powerful, surely you must have sensed that as well. I knew we could do it.” he stated formally.

“I never imagined to be able to to that, to have such power... It was amazing! Can you believe that? Can you believe what we just did?” she was absolutely ecstatic, smiling widely. But then she looked at him and remembered everything. That impossible paradox of him standing right in front of her.

“How did you..?” she started.

“Skywalker left his X-Wing at the island.” he explained.

“Ben, you’re here, you came to us...”

“Yes.” his gaze fell to the floor, and he propped his body, clenching his fists. “I knew it was only a matter of time before they found you...”

“Tell me why, why did you decide to help us?” she interrupted.

He feared that question but knew it was inevitable, she wasn’t a fool. He was trying hard not to think about his reasons.

“I’m here to accept the alliance you proposed.” he told her.

“Yes, Ben, but why did you change your mind?”

“Like you said, we have a common enemy.” his voice had that tone he used when he didn’t want to continue talking.

He sighed in frustration, averting her inquisitive look.

“I want revenge.” he told her.

“Revenge.” she repeated, trying to decide if she believed him. She knew he was hiding his feelings from her, but then again of course he was, she should have known better.

“Do we have a deal or not?” he asked.

She reset her face as she realized she wasn’t going to get anywhere with him:

“I’ll take the matter to the other leaders of the Rebellion. Meanwhile, I’m afraid you will have to wait here inside the ship.” she stated.

“I’ll stay willingly.”

“Good.”

“Good.”


	8. Alliance

As they arrived at the watering hole, Rey left the ship quickly and met the others by the Falcon. Chewie saw her first and rushed past her growling, sputtering insults. She was going to say something when Poe, Finn and Rose snatched her and practically dragged her into the ship.

They all started speaking at the same time. Poe was yelling and making bewildered gestures, Finn had a deep frown on his face rubbing his temple while mumbling, and Rose had a huge smile, saying something about Rey destroying a ship using the Force.

“Stop, all of you!” she finally yelled. “I know there’s a lot to unpack, just give me a chance to explain, will you?”

The men were not amused and the sigh they both let out was too loud for a sigh. She proceeded to tell them about what had happened, back until when she rescued Ben and took him to Ahch-To island, but leaving out the details.

“He wants to forge an alliance, we have a common enemy.” she honestly thought this could work.

“Is that why you left? To save him? The very person we were fighting?” Finn asked her, incredulous.

“Even if we consider this insane proposal, which we don’t, there’s no way we can trust him to be true to his word.” Poe argued, visibly angry. 

“You don’t have to. I can overpower him, as I have many times. If he tries anything, I’ll be here to keep him in check.” claimed Rey with confidence. “Think about it, he would be of immense help, with his knowledge of the First Order’s operation and his skills as a warrior, we might actually win, and sooner that we expected!”

“She does have a point, guys. You saw what they did today! I don’t understand why you’re not talking about that right now! They saved our sorry asses, didn’t they?! Think about what they could achieve if we let them! Besides, our attack on that shipyard will be for nothing if we don’t find the others. Surely, he has that information.” Rose argued.

“Yes, Rose, but you’re forgetting one thing: he is Kylo Ren, Kylo kriffing Ren! Don’t you remember what he did? The people that he killed?” Finn contested.

“No, Finn, never. I’m just trying to end this war, and this seems the best way to do it” retorted Rose, suddenly very serious.

“Oh, and never mind the fact that he is a marked man. There’s a reward for his capture. His presence is an added risk to us, one we can’t afford.” argued Poe.

“It’s no greater danger than the one we’re already in. We are wanted criminals too.” countered Rey.

The two men were visibly worried, they were not being difficult, they had been through so much by Ben’s hand. She didn’t trust him herself, he was too volatile, too unpredictable. But she was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, if it meant ending the war.

“I’m not asking for you to like it, I’m asking you to trust me.” said Rey, exhausting her arguments.

Poe sighed: “Kriff it, you two do have a point, I’m in favour. What do you say, Finn?”

“It appears that I’m the minority here, but if this is the will of the Rebel Alliance, I must yield. Rose?” announced Finn, sounding weirdly formal.

“Uh… Yes!” Rose said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, stifling a smile.

“Thank you, guys, I...” said Rey, but Poe interrupted her.

“But it’s temporary! And he stays in a cell, handcuffed at all times!”

“Alright… of course.” Rey assured him. “We’ll talk when we get to the new base.”

“I can’t believe this…” she heard Poe say as she left.

***

Ben was pacing non-stop inside the ship. He had done it, something he had sworn never to do. After Rey left him, all the buried emotions started to revolt again. 

He had sacrificed everything for the First Order, and it had betrayed him. The crimes he committed in its name, all the years leading a war against his own mother, the blood on his hands. The blood of his own father… How Snoke disdained the act afterwards. The unspeakable, monstrous act that had taken every bit of his willpower and loyalty to commit; the act that had ultimately shattered his soul. And now the betrayal by his Knights had made it all for nothing.

But his usual tendency to violence was still missing, fading away to the point of seeming like a half-forgotten dream. But he held onto his resolution. He was going to destroy the First Order. Make them pay. It was what Kylo Ren would do, he told himself.

He had raised his uncle’s old X-Wing from the water, managing to fix it into function, and flew out of that island. He had started by monitoring their activities. However, when he hacked into their comm system and learned about what the scouts had found, his gut twisted in panic.

He knew it was only a matter of time before the First Order found her, he had been the one behind that very plan, after all. He had tried to warn her through the bond but the Force seemed deaf to his attempts. So he had no choice but to go to her. The reason he didn’t want her to die tugged at the back of his mind, but he ignored it yet again.

Also, Rey was right, helping them would be the easiest way to achieve his goal. The First Order would be defeated, his Knights dead. He would have his revenge and then he could disappear before they could arrest him.

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by the hiss of an opening door. It wasn’t Rey, he knew. But he didn’t expect to see who he saw. Chewie was there, with his bowcaster in hand.

“Chewie!” he let out in surprise. 

The wookie roared so loud that Ben had to recover for a second. Telling him to be quiet, Chewie stated that he had broken his heart, everybody’s heart, his mother died of it, he was sure. With a grunt, he declared that he had hoped to live to see Ben become a good person, but instead he saw a mad man that killed his own father. He didn’t recognize him anymore, the boy he helped raise. With one last sad whimper, Chewie let him know that the sweet child he had once known was really gone.

All the while, Ben listened. And all the while, he fought back the emotions to no avail. The searing resentment, the undeniable fear, and his bitter regret. Even if he had something to say, he wouldn’t have been able to.

Chewie then turned around and left Ben in the deep darkness of his own thoughts. He knew this would happen. His breath caught in his lungs and he was not granted the consolation of tears. He was almost on the verge of it, but they had dried up, long ago. He had to sit down on the floor, just to be able to breathe.

***

_ What a mess _ . Rey wondered how she was going to deal with all that as she saw Finn approaching:

“Can I talk to you?” said Finn with a stern look in his eyes.

Rey already knew what he was going to say as they stepped out of sight.

“What’s really going on, Rey? Did something happen between the two of you? Did he hurt you?” Finn asked.

“No, Finn, he would never do that...”

“Except he would though!” he countered.

She sighed, acknowledging he was right.

“Rey, you said it yourself that you would never let your feelings for him cloud your judgment, and that’s exactly what you’re doing!” Finn continued.

“No, Finn, that’s not what’s happening here. He has come here out of his own free will to help us win the war against the First Order, to help us end it! He will be an immense help to us, you’ll see!”

“Rey, he is only here because he got kicked out of his little club and as soon as he gets his revenge, he will betray us! Can’t you see?”

“If that happens, I will be ready for him.” she said confidently.

“It doesn’t matter! My point is how can you trust him like this?” sputtered Finn in exasperation.

“I don’t! He is handcuffed and in a cell right now, isn’t he?” she countered.

“Rey, he is not some romantic misunderstood hero, he is a villain, the worst human being to ever roam this galaxy! He killed so many people... he killed Han, Rey!”

“I am very well aware of that, Finn, I haven’t forgotten. But we could use his help. Think about it! We could actually win!”

“I don’t know about that...” he hesitated. 

She took a breath. “I have seen it in him, the will to change, to be better. His latest actions have shown it, he helped Poe, didn’t he? Should I just ignore that?”

“Oh, and I supposed one good deed makes it all better now?”

“Of course not, Finn! I do want him to pay for what he’s done! I haven’t forgotten! I never will! But this is about ending the war, it’s all I want! And it has nothing to do with how I might feel about him. You offend me if you think it is so.” she exasperated.

Finn stopped for a moment, absorbing her words.

“I’m sorry, Rey, I believe you...” he apologized. “But I will never trust him.”

“I know, I’ll never ask you to. But, Finn, do you trust  _ me _ ?”

“Yes, Rey, I trust you, I’m just a little upset right now.”

***

Rey still had to take Ben in their own ship because Chewie was absolutely outraged when asked if Ben could board the Falcon. He huffed at the affront, loudly letting them all know that Ben would never set one foot inside Han’s ship for as long as the wookie should live. Naturally, no one dared to defy him.

Poe had taken Luke’s X-Wing and was fascinated at the vintage ship that had ended up in his hand and was thrilled to fly it. Positively giddy, he was often seen polishing the ship and spending extra time performing maintenance on it. Ben didn’t care.

After the vicious attack, the Rebellion had no choice but to retreat to some place they could hide once again. They ended up in Attahox, a planet in the Expansion Region of the galaxy. It was a part of a Hyperspace route along with other planets, but was out of the First Order’s reach for now. Its climate was a bit too cold for Rey, but at least there was a green temperate forest. They settled at an old military base given to them begrudgingly by the local authorities. It was practically in ruins and it took them a lot of work to get the place even breathable.

All heads turned to watch the Last Jedi escorting Kylo Ren to the command room, after they had apparently destroyed First Order’s scouts with their bare hands. Rumors had it that he had deserted the First Order and was willing to fight for them. Rumors that were met with incredulity and suspicion.

When they arrived at the command room, Poe and Finn were busy uploading data to BB-8 and R2’s hardware. Rose was unpacking her tools from a crate. C-3PO was being useless, as usual, walking around confused, but when Ben entered the room the droid greeted:

“Master Solo! It’s been quite some time…” as soon as he said that, there was a change in the atmosphere. The tension was palpable.

“Ren...” Poe saluted gravely, standing up.

“Dameron...” replied Ben, politely but he still clenched his fists. “FN-218...”

“It’s Finn now!” he spit the words.

“And I’m Rose!”

“Finn. Rose.” Ben said, ending his cold greeting.

“Alright, Ren, the only reason we agreed to this was because of Rey and Rose. They convinced us that your help would turn things around, that your intel would give us the upper hand. There are some things we need to know that are crucial to our survival, and unless you have them we have no use for you.”

“I can give you the location of every shipyard that supplies for the First Order and I know where and how to find the High Command. And, with proper training, myself and Rey will be able to take down the Knights.”

“So, what do you want, what’s the deal? You must want something in return” Poe asked. Why else would he be there?

Rey watched Ben closely as he answered:

“You will give me my revenge against the First Order. And amnesty, once this is over.” he simply stated.

Poe squinted his eyes.

“We will first send out scouts to wherever you say these shipyards are. Until we confirm your information, we will not budge.” Poe said.

“Besides, we have to lay low for now. The attack we suffered was a huge setback for us.” reminded Finn.

“We also need to know what kind of defence they have.” added Rose.

“Each factory is heavily armed and I’m guessing that they may have doubled it since I left. Storm troopers on watch at all times, vehicles on the ground and TIEs in the air, and, of course, landmines.” Ben said.

“Landmines?” Rose sputtered, horrified.

“My idea.” Ben said.

“Maybe the best approach would be to send out stealth missions, we don’t have that kind of fire power.” pondered Rey.

“Yes, small teams…” Poe confirmed.

“Give me a map.” asked Ben. Poe signalled to BB-8 and the droid projected the map of the galaxy around them. “This is Ganthel, were the main headquarters are. The station there is a fortress, heavily armed, you don’t have the resources to attack it now. I’ve decentralized the First Order, that’s why so many shipyards at different locations. It would make it harder for the Rebellion to launch a single attack and destroy it all. It was intended to avert another fiasco like the Starkiller.”

Ben proceeded to mark the locations. When he finished, he turned to the others:

“I don’t expect you to trust me. But I can help you end the war. And win.”

Suspicion took over their minds. This was the man who had hunted them for so long and so arduously, that seeing him there, on their side was nothing short of impossible. Rey finally broke the ice:

“When can we send the scouts?”

“Tomorrow, I’ll see to it.” Finn offered.

“May I talk to you, Ren? Alone?” asked Poe in a serious tone. He made sure to give Rey a questioning look. Getting his meaning, she conceded:

“I’ll be right outside, let’s go, guys.” she signalled to Finn and Rose and they got up to leave, followed by the droids.

The two men stared each other down as the others passed between them. As soon as the door closed, Poe asked:

“Why did the droid call you Solo?”

Ben was taken aback by that question, but quickly figured where Poe was getting at.

“That was my name, long ago. Ben Solo.” he admitted carefully, the name sounding strange coming out of his mouth.

“So it is true... you are her son...” Poe frowned, taking the information in.

Ben had always known that his mother had become close to Dameron. He knew how much the pilot admired her.

“Yes, I was.” he confirmed with a sorrowful voice.

“How could you? How could you do that to her? Her own blood, her own son...” Poe was disgusted, the recent pain of losing Leia stung his heart.

Ben felt sick again in a matter of less than a day since Chewie had confronted him. He had it coming, he knew.

Poe wasn’t having it:

“I loved her, we all loved her... do you even know what you put her through?! Did you even care that she died?! Or did you celebrate it as another victory?!”

Ben kept his inscrutable mask on while he listened to Poe’s words. He felt his anger surface within him at the pilot, but he surprisingly kept it together.

“The sooner this ends, the better. Let’s bring them back in, set up the plan and be done with it.” said Poe, suddenly very tired.

***

Poe and Finn were strict about security around Ben, so Rey had no choice but to put him at the old prison inside the base. She didn’t trust him either, but she also knew those restraints and bars were useless, he could break out anytime using his powers. Thus he was staying willingly. 

In his cell, Ben brooded.  _ It will soon be over _ , he thought. Soon he would be gone, disappear, vanish into oblivion. Try to forget his family, his sins, and… her.

That seemed all the more impossible now after what they had done together. Their powers combined yet again through their bond, working together, bolstering one another into creating something so powerful, so beautiful. He had felt the thrill of fighting beside her once more and he found himself wanting more.

Ben felt Rey approaching and, when she opened the door, he noticed she was holding a big package. Reflexively, he swiftly got up to help her. As he unpacked it, he saw a mattress, blankets, towels and clothes. It made him feel strange, almost uncomfortable to see her do this for him, so he awkwardly thanked her and announced he would do it.

She smiled lightly and nodded, but when he thought she was going to leave, she instead sat on the floor in front of him, laying another smaller package down.

“I brought you dinner.” she said, setting up the food over the towel that had served as wrapping. “No one should eat alone, it’s bad for you...”

Curious and a little surprised at her offer, he looked at her with his dark sad eyes, noticing two Corellian apples along with the rations. He hesitated but eventually joined her there on the floor.

“I thought you might like them, they are my favorite. I wish I had time and a place to grow them...” she mused, handing him the fruit and his part of the ration.

“Thank you.” he said in his low voice, unease at her kind gestures.

She smiled at him shyly and proceeded to stuff her mouth with half an apple before he could take a bite of his. Taking a look around his cell, she concluded that her room was not so much better than his cell.

“So, you want us to train. I refused you more than once before, remember?” she lifted her left eyebrow while chewing on her food.

“This is only with the intent of bettering ourselves to the point where we will be able to defeat my Knights. You will need it to win. I barely made it out alive the last time.”

“Yes, this will be fitting. I have a few theories I’d like to test, and questions that need answering.”

He remembered what she had said about the new Jedi Order. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that, given that he dedicated almost half of his life seeking to destroy it. Instinctively, he reached inside for his hatred but found none. Somehow, Rey’s version of the Jedi Order didn’t cause him any unrest. But the irony wasn’t lost on him: he had gone to her to work together into starting something new, just like he had once offered her.

“I told you... about the Balance. I want to know everything I can about the two sides. I’m not afraid of it anymore. And once we are finished setting up the new base we can begin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey really likes apples. And there's no reason not to be kind to a prisoner... especially this one ;)


	9. The Red Lightsaber and the Light Staff

“I feel like we’re beggars…” Poe mumbled sullenly as they were all trying to tidy up the command room. It was no more than a dusty old storage chamber that they were populating with computers and the droids. Rey stopped what she was doing and placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder. 

“I know it feels that way, but we will recover…” Rey assured him, hoping herself she was right.

“Yeah, we’ve been lower than this.” Rose added, approaching them, her smile always on her face.

“At least we’re together.” Finn continued, stepping towards them. Sometimes it seemed that their sincere smiles were the only thing keeping them going.

Ben, whose hands were unbound in order to help, gazed at them. He had never seen that kind of comradery, having never had any real friends neither at Luke’s temple nor among the Knights. He shifted in discomfort, feeling like he was intruding a moment that didn’t belong to him. But they never noticed him, and got to work until it was dark.

***

The next day, Rey showed up at Ben’s cell with food again. She still had some apples which she happily shared with him. It was the day they would start their training. They took a hike to a secluded place in the woods. Once there, they sat in front of each other, cross-legged.

“Tell me about the Dark Side.” she asked.

“The Dark Side of the Force focuses on individual passion and strength. It’s about change and evolution. But mostly is about power. It gives you what you need, it is not petty like the Light. Through it, one can achieve anything. Its power is as endless as the Force.” narrated Ben.

“Is this all that the Darkside is?” asked Rey, after a moment of contemplation.

He furrowed his brows, slightly offended.

“Does being a darksider only mean that you seek power? That doesn’t seem evil in itself.” she clarified. 

“Well...” he hesitated, a little puzzled by her reaction.

“What about the murdering part? Or the part where they’ll torture everyone? Or enslave the galaxy?”

“The Jedi have also been guilty of these things.”

“One thing is to murder, another is to defend oneself and others from harm.” argued Rey. “Seeking power is not bad, it’s just how far one is willing to take it…”

“The Jedi were no better that the Darksiders in that regard, or any other for that matter, just look at history. They have murdered and enslaved, or allowed it to happen just as much as the darksiders.”

“I thought they were keepers of the peace.” she said, but suddenly remembered Luke’s words:

“ _ Lesson two. Now that they are extinct, the Jedi are romanticized, deified. But if you strip away the myth and look at their deeds, the legacy of the Jedi is failure. Hypocrisy, hubris. _ ”

She hadn’t wanted to believe him at first, having herself been guilty of worshiping the Jedi. Maybe this is what Luke meant. However, she didn’t consider it to be enough reason for the order to end. She was ready to admire them now, especially Luke, for everything, including their failures and faults. 

***

“Look inside yourself. Seek the anger, the hatred. Use them to fuel your will, your every movement, your every thought.” Ben said, sitting down in front of her, legs crossed.

Rey pictured her parents abandoning her. All those years she waited for them, always hoping that they were coming back for her, but always knowing that they wouldn’t.

“Harness that sorrow and gather it in a very specific place in your mind. Some place where you can access easily and effectively. You don’t have to be angry to harness your anger, you just have to learn to control it.”

She pondered on his words and knew exactly what to do. Somehow, the abstractions of the Force made sense to her.

“Now we meditate for a while. You need to exercise that mental effort just as much as the physical one.”

They spent a long time meditating, travelling into their minds and through the Force. It felt like home somehow the evanescent thread that connected all living things, and they took solace in that.

After their meditation ended, he got up:

“Good, now let’s try and use it. You’ll freeze me, and I’ll try and break free.”

“Freezing!” She whispered excitedly, always eager to learn. 

She propped her body and readied herself for the Force ability. It should help that she remembered what it felt like when he did it to her on Takodana, when they first saw each other.

“Ready?” Ben asked.

“Ready!” Rey responded.

Holding out her hand, she reached into the Dark Side. It came to her powering every cell in her body, ending up at the tip of her fingers. It extended swiftly to her target, and Ben felt his muscles freeze in place. However, he broke free just as easily.

“It was a good try. Again?”

“Oh, yes!” she was resolute.

Once again, she delved into that place in her head where her anger and sorrow were harboured. Her mind focused in concentration, summoning more power. It hit him, and this time, he really couldn’t move. Straining, he also called upon his power and created a silent struggle. But finally, he broke free.

“Very good. But not quite there.” he stated. “Tell me what you felt.”

“I felt the Darkness, it took over my intentions, it helped me do what I wanted.”

“That’s what it does, it enhances one’s power beyond its mere existence.”

Remembering the fear in Luke’s eyes when he saw the Dark in her, she tried to imagine what he would say now.

“Again!” she exclaimed.

***

Rey escorted him to the makeshift sparring ground. She gave him his saber back and he ignited it, taking his stance. Upon hearing the familiar roar of his weapon, Ben realized how much he had missed it.

Taking her stance as well, her weapon placed horizontally, she ignited one blade at a time. The rich blue light reflected in her eyes and she looked unbeatable.

Some of the rebels that were passing by stopped to watch while a few went to call others.

“Ready?” asked Ben.

“Ready!” replied Rey.

Ben charged at her and she parried his move twisting her staff towards his blade. Next, the red lightsaber traced a circle in the air, escaping her and trying at her left side. Rey blocked it again with the bottom blade. He backed off and returned to his form, her doing the same.

At this point, several people were attending, absolutely amazed. The Last Jedi against The Jedi Killer, that wasn’t a match to be missed.

It was Rey’s turn to advance and she broke her stance to launch a stab at Ben. He deflected it by deviating her blade from its course. She seized the opportunity to twist her body and lunge at him from the other side. He ducked and shifted his weight to the front, stopping her other blade.

Embarking in their concentration, they never noticed the crowd that had gathered to watch them. More and more people had joined, including Poe and Finn.

“Yeah! Kick his ass, Rey! Come on!” Poe heard Finn say.

They kept going, never resuming their stances. It looked like they were dancing together at a beautiful choreography of red and blue. Their blades locked every now and then, making the unmistakable sound of clashing lightsabers. Despite their different styles - his being more violent and vigorous, while hers was more agile and sharp - they matched harmoniously.

All the while, their eyes were locked, marveling at each other and at the thrill of fighting together. They didn’t need to speak, they could see each other’s minds, their bond opened between them, allowing the Force to flow through. They clashed one last time and they both retreated, short-winded from the effort.

Suddenly, they realized they were being watched and gazed at the crowd that had assembled. One rebel awkwardly clapped, but it faded immediately as the crowd quickly dispersed.

The surprise made Ben immediately moody and he pouted his lips in irritation. Rey, however, was kind of proud that they were watching.

Ben spotted Poe and Finn and turned his saber off.

“Good. We’ll continue tomorrow.” Ben announced, eager to get out of there as fast as possible.

“What a missed opportunity for her to cut off his head...” Finn whispered, disappointed, wrenching a small laugh from Poe.

***

“Let’s try it… let’s just risk it and see what happens.” Rey offered. They had been hesitant to hold hands, afraid they would experience another vision like the one back in Ahch-To. But they had realized that their powers were greatly enhanced by their physical proximity. And when they took down the scout ships, there had been no vision then. They had to risk it if they were to learn to control the bond they shared. Something that could be very useful for what they were planning to do.

“I guess we must.” Ben agreed, hesitantly.

Facing each other, her hands were hovering his. Rey closed her eyes and grasped his hands in one swift move. They let out their breaths, expecting to be hit. However, there was no vision this time, for their relief. Instead, the Force thrummed in response, as if it was aware, waiting for their command.

“That’s not too bad!” Rey quipped with a smile.

“So… the bond...” Ben said, trying to focus his attention. “You’ve been able to shut it off, right?”

“Yes, I have. And reopen it.”

“You are able to manipulate it better than I can.” Ben admitted, without any resentment. “Can you show me?”

“Alright. Close your eyes. Breathe... Just breathe…” she started.  _ “Can you feel the bond?” _ her voice thundered in his mind through the Force.

_ “Yes.” _ he replied, but suddenly he felt the flow be cut, it became silent as if it had been shut behind a door, locked away. Startled, he broke the meditation and gazed at her. He had the same face as the day when he realised that he was dealing with a Force-sensitive scavenger tied to his interrogation chair.

“See? Easy!” she smirked out of self confidence, but it soon faded, she wasn’t about to tease him.

Ben was amazed at how she could reach into the Force so effortlessly and so effectively having had so little training. To do the things she could do, it had taken him many months of training as an apprentice.

“That was… Can you show me how you did it?” he asked her, his intellect begging him to investigate.

They closed their eyes again and plunged into the meditation. Through the bond, she peeled her mind open for him, unafraid. In return, he let her images enter his own mind and he saw her raw power in the Light, unchained and bright. The knowledge she shared with him, so easily and freely, felt precious and sacred and he absorbed it eagerly.

It was an exercise of trust, and they would have to rely on one another if they wanted to keep improving.

“I see it now.” he exhaled once they were back and she smiled to see how his face changed with every step they took together.

“We have to learn how to connect with one another when we wish to. And I think this is a good start.”

“Indeed.”

“Practice…” she said, holding his hand tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted them to train together. I think it is such an important part of their characters.  
> As I was writing the sparring scene I was listening to “Movement” by Hozier.  
> Also, I love me some fluff! But wait 'til you see the next chapter...


	10. Scars

The desolate Sith temple world of Malachor offered a harsh but beautiful sight. Its climate was cold but steady. Seeing as the rebels weren’t moving anytime soon, they agreed to meet back at the rendezvous point to launch the attack on the shipyard in a few days. It was more than enough time to visit the old temple and research on the darksiders. 

The temple was vast and it took them hours to explore the main rooms. Although it was in ruins, the Force manifested itself in this place in a different way that Rey was used to. Ben told her everything he knew about that place, about the vicious battles that took place there, ages ago.

There was also a library where they found books that they took to study later. Also, the meditation room was a wonder. The dark stone walls rose from the ground endlessly into the sky until they joined at an opening, letting the dim light in. 

They spent the following days studying and meditating, while never neglecting to spar together.

To her, it felt like the man that was with her was not the same that she had known before, or maybe he was exactly the same, she couldn’t decide. There was a fire that burned within him and in everything he did. His strength in the Force was as vast as his Darkness. It was a permanent and undeniable part of him. But he seemed to have left his violent behavior behind, replacing it by melancholic introspection. Wanting revenge seemed like a good enough reason to justify his presence there but she suspected that there was more. However, she scolded herself for even speculating that he would want redemption. Having exhausted the issue, she decided that she would just leave him be. She had a goal to achieve and insisting on that would be wasteful and useless.

***

“Ben, I need your help.” she told him after dinner one night, sitting by the fire outside.

“Yes?” he replied, while scraping off the pan.

“Ever since I found out about my family, I’ve been wanting to know more. You’ve entered my mind once. This time, I give you permission to look. I’d like you to help me remember them fully.”

Ben stopped what he was doing and thought about what she asked, weighing the consequences. “Are you sure you want to go there?”

“Yes, it’s time. I need to know all that I can.” she said firmly. “Besides, it should help what we’re doing.”

Ben put the pan down and moved closer. They placed themselves face-to-face and held hands like they always did. The contact allowing the Force to empower them.

“ _ Tell me where you want to go _ .” she heard him speak in her head.

“ _ I want to see their faces. _ ” she replied.

Suddenly, they were somewhere else, a slum of sorts. They were standing side by side as they witnessed a man appear, tumbling into the room, drunk. They turned around to the sound of steps behind them and saw a woman that looked a lot like Rey. Her expression was stained with anguish and she was holding a small child in her arms. Rey gasped realizing those were her parents, and watched her mother place herself as a child in her cot carelessly, turning her back to her baby. Her father rolled his hazel eyes, irritated. The child started to cry, but none of the adults paid any attention to her as they started to fight. Rey walked over to her father and saw her eyes in his, reddened by the alcohol. Next, she gazed at her mother realising with sadness how much they looked alike. 

Suddenly, the vision faded and they were transported again, to Jakku. They witnessed those same people accept money from Unkar Plutt as they shoved little Rey towards him. Without even looking back, they boarded the ship and left her there screaming.

Another change of scenery and they were at her old home inside the AT-AT. She looked only a little older than before and they watched the child place her scavenging gear on the floor. Little Rey then took a package from her bag, ripped it open and poured the content into a bowl of water. Turning to the wall, she made a tally mark on it next to a few others and sat down on the floor to eat the tiny bread that had popped out of the bowl. Rey watched ‘little her’ repeat the same routine as she had for so many years. Ben’s heart stung to see the child curl up in a ball holding her doll, still hungry from her insufficient meal. 

As they were pulled back, Ben shot a worried glance at her. Rey knew it wasn’t going to be a good memory but she couldn’t fight the tears that began to flood her eyes. She covered her face with her hands and broke down, sobbing.

Instinctively, Ben kneeled in front of her and placed his arms around her small frame. Rey immediately accepted his gesture and moved into his embrace, grabbing onto his tunic. Once more, he comforted her as she cried for her lost family. A sudden rage invaded his mind, making him want inflict a slow, painful death to those who had done that to her.

“Why didn’t they love me? Why didn’t they want me?” she sobbed painfully, holding onto him as immense sorrow lashed at her.

“Rey, it wasn’t your fault.  _ They _ left you,  _ they _ hurt you.” he assured her, gritting his teeth. She nodded but her heart was still engulfed by her grief. The dam had broken, and it was about time that it had.

He shifted to sit down on the floor, still holding her. She followed him and leaned in, tugging at his cape. Understanding her intent, he covered them both with it. She took comfort in his warmth and stayed there for some time, shedding more painful tears.

After some time, the temperature started to drop, and Ben decided to leave.

“Rey, it’s getting too cold. I’m taking you inside, alright?” he whispered to her, against her hair.

She nodded almost imperceptibly and he maneuvered himself to lift her. Defeated, she held onto him, letting him carry her. When he hoisted her from the ground, he saw the silent tears that stained her face.

Once inside, he gently placed her on the cot leaving his cape there as a blanket. He turned around to leave, she needed rest.

“Ben?” she called him softly.

He halted at the sound of her voice calling his given name.

“Stay?” she couldn’t bear the thought of being alone at that moment. “Will you stay here with me? Please?”

Many reasons why he shouldn’t ran through his mind, making him hesitate. But whatever they were, they were not enough to stop him from surrendering to her plea. He wanted to help her, he wanted to do something to alleviate her pain. She scooted over, lifting his cape as he joined her in the cot.

Rey nuzzled herself in his warm embrace, resuming her crying while he held her like he had done before. Spotting a fresh tear, Ben hovered his hand over her face hesitantly. Ever so slightly, he brushed his thumb on her cheek, wiping it away. She hummed at the contact and pushed her face against his hand, closing her eyes. A little surprised by her reaction, he caressed her, and the touch made his heart race.

She had never been touched like that before. His simple gesture had such a profound impact on her, almost enough to make the pain go away. Her breathing, once shallow from the crying, began to steady.

He had never done that, to anyone. That kind of affectionate touch was something he had longed for, but his cold heart never allowed him to feel it. But after having touched her hand through their bond, he now longed for it. A starvation that had become too great to be ignored.

Sensing that, Rey opened her eyes and gazed at him, fearful and hopeful, and reached her hand towards his face. His eyes darted between hers, unsure at first, but soon softened, giving her permission. At first, she traced the scar she gave him, but then she mirrored his gesture and cupped his face. He sighed in response, unable to repress it, as her touch seemed to silence the chaos in his mind. She caressed his cheek once more with her tiny hand and he closed his eyes, nuzzling his face on her palm.

Reaching up, she brushed her hands through his hair, enjoying how soft it was, just like she had imagined. He hummed, wishing she wouldn’t stop. They were so close. Her touch made his heart ache even more, in an impossible contradiction of want and fear. 

When her hand landed back on his chest, she snuggled closer to him and he held her tighter. Exhausted from crying, Rey relaxed in his arms. Ben never expected her to accept him like that. He wondered if that was what closeness felt like, for normal people. There was a bliss, a glow around them that served to calm their restless hearts. Sleep crept in quickly as it always seemed to do when they were together, and they fell asleep in each other’s arms till morning.

***

As they made their way through the ruins of the old temple, Rey was absorbed in her thoughts. She remembered having slept the entire night, once again unusually. They had shifted during the night, so that her head was laying on his left shoulder and he was on his back, his arm around her. She was so comfortable there, ironic, she thought. His body was so warm and he held her all through the night in his strong arms. The man that had been once so cruel and merciless was the same that comforted her the night before, much like they had done through the bond, months ago.

However, she still felt exhausted. She had always known the truth, but to actually see her parents and witnessing her own abandonment had been too painful. The confirmation that they didn’t love her, made something grow inside of her. It was the Darkness, she knew, but she let it, unafraid.

When Ben woke up that morning, they had locked eyes for a moment before mumbling good morning and getting up as fast as he could. The intimate moment they had shared made him upset. He didn’t want to make things harder than they had to be, and being with her like that was exactly it. Having held her in his arms made a strange warmth grow in his heart and he was doing his best to shut it out. It was her Light, he knew it. But he couldn’t have ignored her suffering and left her there crying. Once more, his compassion for her took over, making him do things he thought he would never do.

_ It will soon be over _ , he thought to himself.

***

After Rey decided that they had enough information, they left the planet and were headed for another temple.

“I checked in with Finn. He said they still need a few more days.”

“Good, we should have enough time to explore Lothal.”

“I can’t wait.” she said. 

Ben had been moody ever since the Sith temple, so she was surprised when he spoke suddenly, his eyes staring into the void of space.

“I’ve never thanked you.” he had a deep frown.

“For what?” asked Rey.

“For saving my life.” he said, gazing at her with his dark eyes. “Thank you for that.”

She smiled softly, she had never expected him to thank her.

“I’m glad I did it...” she said, sincerely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is one of my favourite chapters. I love angsty fluff and those two really needed some!  
> Things are heating up! Also, I love Softboi Ben, so hot...


	11. Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter that earns the Explicit rating. Smut ahead, you've been warned. Things will escalate quickly.

The mountains and prairies of the planet Lothal served as a beautiful background for the ancient Jedi Temple. Constructed from a natural site, the temple was an immense monolithic structure with caverns underneath.

“It was built here due to a convergence in the Force” Ben told her.

“I can feel it…” Rey said.

At the entrance, there was a stone spire lying on the ground, broken in two.

“Both master and apprentice had to work together to lift this spire to access the temple.” he continued.

Rey gazed sadly at the shattered piece of stone and wondered how this place must have been like. The lives that once inhabited the great temple echoed in her mind. How many masters and apprentices walked on these grounds? What kind of knowledge was harboured by those minds? How many years did it last before it was destroyed?

“These concentric circles symbolize the Light and Dark sides of the Force.” Ben explained, making her lift her gaze to the enormous carvings circling out from the central spire.

The broken spire didn’t serve as a door anymore, allowing free access to the ruined temple. They explored it further, and found the meditation room along with the tunnels that connected the entire complex.

The living quarters were in surprisingly good conditions, so Rey suggested they stayed there. There was a living room connecting the dormitories together, and each one took one. She made a cozy bed for herself from the ship’s blankets and mattress. Smiling at her makeshift bedroom, she wondered at what it would be like to have a home. A real house with a garden maybe, and large windows to let the sun in. She decided she would make a bed just like that for her room, at her house, at her temple.

***

Rey had learned so much those past few weeks. Having Ben to help her gave her a greater understanding of the Force. Their exercises with the bond made her so proud. Her skills had evolved greatly and she felt even closer to her goal.

They met at the main meditation room. Rey wanted to work on the bond again, taking advantage of the strong presence of both Light and Dark at the temple. She had planned to go even further this time.

“Ready?” asked Rey, holding out her hand.

“Ready.” replied Ben, taking her hand.

They were facing each other as they held both hands and closed their eyes. Immediately, they felt the familiar pull of the Force hum around them...

_Darkness._

_Light._

They felt themselves being lifted from the ground, slowly. Their minds locked in a trance as they ascended, almost motionless but not quite. Rey’s hands ran up Ben’s arms as she floated closer to him. At the same time, his hands moved to the small of her back, holding her nearer. Arcs of energy flowed through them as they reached into the Force, beyond the idea of space and time.

Their eyes were closed but they could see each other’s Signatures; hers filled with Light, his brimming with Darkness. The endless symphony of the Force was thrumming around them. With the entire galaxy as their background, they soared in slow motion, holding each other fully now, their faces touching. Spiraling slowly, their Signatures started to intertwine together, creating a magnificent sculpture of black and white.

Gently, they started to descend back to the ground. As soon as they touched down, their minds were released from their rapture and they opened their eyes to look at each other.

They were so close, too close, and everything that had happened between them up until that point - the unspoken words and unconfessed feelings - was threatening to burst out.

“Ben…” all she could do was whisper his name, hoping to express something she didn’t even understand herself.

“Rey…” he replied, his voice no more than a quivering sigh, as he gazed into her eyes.

Slowly, she stood on her tiptoes, tilting her chin up. He leaned in, bringing his lips closer to hers. They both closed the distance and their lips met for the first time. Their closed mouths only pressed against one another lightly, but the contact sent a powerful shiver through their bodies. Rey’s hands moved through Ben’s hair and he held her even closer, deepening the kiss. Tentatively, he opened his mouth and her lower lip slid between his, making their hearts race. She followed his motion, caressing his lips with hers.

Pure energy seemed to crackle through them at their contact. Their bodies and minds were on fire and they didn’t want to stop. It felt like they could do that forever.

They broke the kiss in order to catch their breaths. Ben had his forehead to hers as Rey held his face with both hands, tracing his scar with her left thumb. So much want and yet so much hesitation. Once more, something pulled them together and they couldn’t help but kiss again.

This time, the kiss was more intense. She pulled him closer and he responded by tightening his grip around her. Their open mouths moved against one another until he slid his tongue inside her mouth, brushing hers ever so slightly.

Soon, their mouths crashed and their tongues followed. Breathing hard, she clawed at his clothes, urging him closer somehow. His hands roamed her back while his lips hungrily moved with hers. Bliss washed over them, filling their hearts and bodies with the feeling of each other.

After what could have been minutes, or hours, or days, Ben broke their reverie, dizzy:

“Rey... We can’t... I’m sorry...” he mumbled, terrified.

Rey also snapped out of her state:

“You’re right… I’m sorry too, we shouldn’t have done that.” she admitted with a shuddering voice. She excised herself from his embrace and gave a few steps back before running back to the living quarters leaving him behind.

***

That was a mistake, Ben thought. He shouldn’t have kissed her. Now everything was going to change. His mind chastised him once more for having done something that would only stir his forbidden feelings for her. More and more, they were becoming very difficult to discipline into submission.

Rey couldn’t stop sighing. Why did she go and kiss him like that? They were already in a complicated situation and this would only make it more so. He was on his path to change, but it was hard for her to trust him fully. She had done that before and she had been wrong. So the unwelcome feelings she had for him  were stirring again in her heart, upsetting her.

They went about their day in silence again, how they used to do when things got awkward between them.

***

That night, however, neither one could sleep. Ben tossed and turned in his bed, thinking about her, about that kiss, and about where they went: a place where the Force seemed to bring them closer together. The feeling of her lips on his was too wonderful for him to ignore, he couldn’t fight it.

Giving up, he finally left his room, passing in front of hers as quickly as possible, and headed for the old living room. Intending to distract himself with study, he reached for one of the books when he sensed her and heard her voice call:

“Ben?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Ben apologized quickly, turning to face her.

“You didn’t. I couldn’t sleep.” Rey replied.

After a moment of silence, she continued.

“Listen, Ben, there’s no need to feel bad about… about what happened, we were caught up in the moment, that’s all. It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” she stated firmly.

“Yes, of course, let’s just move past it, it was nothing.” he agreed promptly.

More silence.

“We must investigate what that meant, the vision, I mean...” she added quickly. “That had never happened before.”

“Yes. Tomorrow, we’ll do that.” he bit his own cheek and pouted his lips. “I think I’ll go get some rest. Good night.” he said, walking past her, almost running.

Rey was left in the darkness of the room alone with her thoughts. Thoughts of him, of his character, of his heart and his soul. Was this just normal physical attraction between two humans? If so, should she give herself to such a man? Was he still a monster underneath? Or was this the real him and the monster was just his shell? Or was he both?

***

Ben went back to his room and closed the door behind him, leaning against it. Immediately, his mind resumed thinking about their kiss and he felt the heat rise in his core. He tried to repress the way his body was reacting to it, like he always had to do.

But after some time, before he could stop himself, he opened the door, left his room again, and went over to hers. He was about to knock on her door when he stilled. _You kriffing idiot, go back before you make a fool of yourself_ , he thought. But as soon as he turned back, her door flew open. Surprised, he turned to face her, and saw the resolved expression on her face.

She reached out her hand, looking at him intensely with her hazel eyes. Without breaking eye contact, he took her hand, and then the other, moving closer until they half-embraced. Unable to hold back, their lips crashed again into a desperate kiss.

The Force hummed. His hands roamed fiercely up and down her back and hers grabbed a chunk full of his hair. A violent rush of desire surged between them. They were panting as they stumbled back into her room.

She moaned against his mouth uncontrollably and her heart hammered in her chest, spreading her arousal everywhere. Something hard pressed against her stomach, and the thought of it only added to the powerful wave of desire taking over her.

Indeed, his body was alight with lust for her, a feeling that he had never experienced before, not even when he touched himself as a teenager. His erection felt almost painful with the wild passion possessing his body.

They were both overwhelmed by the sensations that were blurring their thoughts. Both unsure if they should do this and what would happen if they did. But what should they do with these feelings otherwise?

In an attempt to resist it, Ben broke the kiss. Rey could feel his hesitation through the bond, and stilled also, gently placing her hands on his chest, trying to catch her breath.

“Rey, we shouldn’t to this...” he said, his voice shaking.

“I know, I’m sorry, you’re right... it’s not...we can’t...” she mumbled, backing off a little, trying to think of a reason.

“Besides, it’s not safe, we are not protected... it’s not safe...” said Ben.

“I-I… I have an implant.” she quickly replied, touching her arm where the device was. She looked at him a little bit scared and hopeful at the same time. He was surprised to hear that, feeling like a fool not to have thought about that himself.

His wide-eyed expression softened. Their foreheads touched, both struggling with their own thoughts and fears, and the unstoppable lust that took over them. They were out of excuses.

“I want you...” Rey whispered softly to him.

“I want you too... badly...” Ben replied with a pleading voice.

They were lost to each other at that moment when everything changed. They kissed again passionately, driven by primal lust.

They were both new to this, neither had had any experience. His confidence had been present in most facets of his life, but not this one. And although he was nervous, all he could feel was the need to be with her. As for her, her loneliness had been absolute throughout her entire life. But not here, not with him.

She broke the kiss and, gazing at him, she removed her shirt from her body. As she was bare before him, his eyes widened and he let out a ragged breath at the sight of her perfect breasts, her nipples hardened by the shiver running through her skin. She blushed lightly but stood her ground, wanting him to look at her body, and the lust in his eyes told her how amazed he was at the sight of her.

“Can I touch you?” his voice a mere whisper as he blushed as well.

“Yes, yes...” she almost begged.

Ben reached out his hand and his fingers softly brushed the bottom of one of her breasts. Rey shivered under his touch, wanting him to go on. He then filled his hand with her tit and she thought she was going to faint from the sensation. Not letting go of the first, he held the other one.

“Ben...” she breathed out.

The gesture was awkward but nonetheless pleasurable. He was aching from it, her creamy skin felt so soft, unlike anything he had ever touched before. His hands fell to her waist, brushing the skin all the way down.

Aroused, his heart was racing in his chest as he clumsily removed his own shirt. Her gaze trickled down his torso, and she recognized his scars from the many times she had seen it.

Her hands moved to touch him. Hesitant, she hovered there asking for permission and he granted it by putting his hand over hers. She _finally_ touched his soft skin stretched over his muscular chest and slid her hands down to his rippled abdomen. Her hands on him felt so wonderful. She stopped at the waistband of his sleep pants and looked back up at him. With a boost of courage, he took the piece of clothing off.

She had never seen a naked man before but she doubted that any would be as spectacular as he was. She had already seen his imposing frame and alabaster skin but her eyes trailed from his face along his entire body stopping _there_. His cock stood between them completely erect, its size intimidating her. The sight of it almost stole her breath from her.

Blinking slowly to try and refocus, she removed her own shorts and was as naked as he was. His lips parted and his gaze fell onto her. She was so beautiful, her toned body making the most lovely curves. He looked at her small delicate breasts, her flat stomach and finally her beautiful pussy. Fascinated, he wanted to touch her everywhere.

They were completely vulnerable to one another, their minds exposed as much as their bodies.

“You’re beautiful...” she told him, sincerely.

“So are you… so gorgeous…” his face felt like a furnace but he replied. “Can I touch you? Will you show me how?”

She nodded and bit her lip while she took his hand and guided it to her center. He moaned softly as his fingers brushed the hair that hid her sex and finally reached her clit. She drew circles over it together and she whimpered at the sensation; it was so much more intense than when she did it herself. She let go and he continued his exploration. He tried further down into her cunt and felt how wet she was. She took his hand again and guided one of his fingers to enter her. Letting out a ragged breath, he pressed his digit deeper in and out of her channel, following her wordless instructions. He never could have imagined what she would feel like, so soft, so warm, the sensation was almost too much, but he wanted more.

His fingers slipped out of her and she moved closer.

“Can I touch _you_ now? Can you show me?” she asked hovering her hand over his erection, in a mixture of curiosity and desire, that she found she liked a lot.

He gazed at her, and saw no hesitation in her eyes. Gently, he took her hand and placed it around his shaft. With his own hand over hers, he started an up and down motion and couldn’t help but whimper as a wave of carnal pleasure washed over him.

Ben’s face flushed even more as Rey touched him, he looked so vulnerable, so sweet. It felt amazing, his cock was hard and hot but the skin there felt soft. She was so careful and tender, wanting to enjoy the impossible pleasure that was coursing through both of them, touching him like that.

At one point, he stopped her.

“Did I do something wrong?” she asked, worried.

“No, no... it felt so good, too good, I just don’t want it to be over too soon...” he said quietly.

“Oh...”

His arms circled her waist and wrapped around the small of her back. Her hands ran up his arms, passing by his shoulders and ending up in his hair. The contact of their naked skins unleashed a jolt of blinding pleasure through them. Another hungry kiss, and they grazed their bodies against one another, getting lost in it. They didn’t really know what to do, but this felt right. They felt the desperate need to be as close as possible, guided only by instinct and desire. His hands went from the nape of her neck to her bottom, in voracious movements, as her hands clutched his strong arms and chest.

Hesitantly, Rey broke the kiss and took a few small steps back, pulling him towards the bed. Ben watched as she lay down, waiting for him, giving him a view of her entire body. He quickly joined her there, lying on top of her. She shifted a little so he was cradled between her legs. They both trembled with anticipation, and his cock throbbed against her wet core.

“Rey... do you really want this?” he asked once again for consent.

“Yes, Ben, I do... I want you to do it.” she told him confidently, looking into his eyes and they gave her the sweetest look she’d ever seen from him.

In spite of his lack of experience, he knew a few things about sex from his education. He had an idea on how to do it, so he grabbed his erection and pressed at her entrance, never breaking eye contact. He felt the place where her flesh yielded, she was slick and he started to slip into her with ease for both of their surprise.

Ben was trying to go slow, looking for any sign of pain in her face. They both groaned uncontrollably at the intimate contact and the pleasure it brought. But as he sheathed himself fully inside her, Rey let out a gasp and grimaced.

“Am I hurting you?” he asked quickly, worried at the possibility of hurting her, and when she didn’t answer, he started to pull out.

“No!” she yelped, holding him in place. The pressure of his large member fully inside her had been almost too much, but she wasn’t in pain. “Stay… I just need a moment... I’m alright... Stay...” she let out between breaths.

They just stayed still for a moment, dealing with the sensation of being connected like that. He was trembling on top of her, trying to maintain control. She was letting her body adjust to his cock buried deep inside of her, stretching her core. The pressure then subsided and was replaced by warmth and pleasure. She held his face and nodded, and he began to move slowly.

Pleasure took over their senses as he moved in and out of her. Through the Force, their bodies and minds were led into a state of ecstasy, much like the one they had had on the meditation room. Ben couldn't control the noises coming out of his throat as he bucked his hips onto her. When she began to moan, he thought it was the most erotic sound he had ever heard.

The feeling of having him inside her was exquisite, filling something she didn’t know was missing. The sensation of his body against her was hot, sweet and wild, and she was floating in this beautiful, aching pleasure.

Rey knew her body from when she touched herself, so she did what her instinct told her. As he picked up speed, she moved with him, meeting his every thrust, rubbing her clit against his pelvic bone.

Their lips crashed once in a while in a heated kiss as they moved together. Their bond was howling now, and they were chasing together something new and beautiful, running side by side towards an unknown place.

Before long, the aching pleasure reached its peak and their orgasms surprised them. Letting out a loud groan, he thrusted into her one last time. He felt himself spilling inside her as he got lost in the waves of his climax. She cried loudly and arched her back against his body, feeling her walls fluttering around him. Her consciousness was replaced by a burst of light as pleasure washed over her mercilessly.

It took some time until they came down from their climax. They were shaking, vanquished by the passion they had experienced. It had felt so good, it had been spectacular. Sharing this together, had been so much more than they had ever expected.

“Did you feel that?” she asked, with a shaky voice, holding his face between her hands.

“Yes...” he shuddered on top of her, still inside.

Eventually, he pulled out and rolled to her side, clumsily. She turned to him and nuzzled her face in his neck, still feeling the aftershocks. He held her closer and caressed her back, not wanting to let go. Consciousness was fading fast and they tried to stay awake for as long as they could, enjoying that strange sweet moment, but were inevitably led into the deepest sleep they had ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, this is the chapter that earns "The Force Ships It" tag. The smut has begun and it will not stop until the end.  
> I was listening to “Silhouette” by Aquilo when I was writing the meditation scene and “Awake Me” by Rosie Carney for their first time.


	12. Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so this chapter doesn't feature any smut. Just fluff. But the next one...

Ben woke up slowly that morning, feeling replenished. He blinked a few times and stretched, noticing right away that some of his abdominal muscles felt overworked. It took him a while to remember what had happened the night before and when he did, he jumped to look beside him. However, he knew she was already gone. Sighing in both relief and disappointment, he wondered what to do next. Like a stupid teenager, he had given into his impulses, and feared what that night might mean to him.

Ben quickly went back to his room to change into day clothes. Outside, he found her practicing her forms. Gulping, he approached her.

“Good morning.” she greeted in a serious tone, sensing him near. She had panicked a little when she woke up in his arms, both naked. She detangled herself from him and left the room as quickly and as quietly as she could. She didn’t want to wake him up. What was she going to say? She shouldn’t have done that, because... he was her greatest enemy. Was he still? And if so, was she ready to forgive him and move past the things that made him a monster? Did the sex on the night before mean that she did? _No, of course not. Of course not._

“Are you alright?” he asked and right away thought it had been a stupid thing to say.

“Yeah. You?” her tone was friendly but weird.

He just nodded and started to walk away, setting his face back into his mask.

***

They spent the rest of the day apart, the echoes from the night before ringing in their heads. Rey couldn’t stop thinking about what they shared. The surprise, the pleasure. The way it felt when he touched her skin. His weight pressing down on her. The wonder of his strong body and his hair, _stars, his hair_. They way he filled her most deliciously. But mostly, she thought about his eyes. It always took her breath away the way they could gaze through her soul, like he was begging for something that remained unsaid.

Ben was also absorbed by the memories of what they did. Images of her never left his mind. Images of her beautiful body, her mouth on his, the taste of her lips, being inside her. He realized now how much he had wanted this, for longer than he would have liked to admit. But mostly, she looked at him in a way that no one else did, like he was worthy. His mind spent the whole day in this struggle, telling him to forget it, that it meant nothing, to bury it along with everything else.

They met at dinner time as usual. Ben had taken up the task and he was a great cook, surprisingly, always making sure they ate something more interesting than rations.

They ate in silence by the fire, side by side. When they finished, Ben got up and took her plate back to the old kitchen, bringing two apples back with him.

“I found this while I was walking through the woods, it’s not a Corellian but it’s good...” he sat by her side and handed her the fruit.

Her face suddenly lit up with the most beautiful, sincere smile. He knew how much she loved things that grew, especially fruits, so when he found them he didn’t think twice. That made her forget their awkwardness for a moment and thanked him profusely:

“Oh, thank you, Ben! I love those! That’s so sweet!” she laughed happily and took a huge bite off the apple. “Hum! Itfs defifious!”

She looked so endearing when she did that. One could almost miss the strength that she had underneath, but to him they were never mutually exclusive. He almost, almost smiled.

She saw that and turned serious immediately. She decided not to say anything to embarrass him. Instead, she said something else, equally embarrassing:

“So, have you ever done... _that_ before?” she asked in a shy voice, immediately regretting having said that, but it was too late. Her cheeks became as red as the apple.

He was caught by surprise by her question and blushed violently as well, but answered: “No. Never.”

“Really? Never?” she was sure he had, looking the way he did.

“Never.” he repeated.

“How come?” her question didn’t carry any judgment, only curiosity.

“As a Jedi you’re not supposed to, and as a Darksider these things are considered ridiculous distractions, so it has never been a part of my life.” Not to mention how shy and self-conscious he had been as a teenager and the fact that he had Snoke in his mind all the time since then, but he didn’t bring up that part. “What about you?” he tried.

“Oh, I’ve never had anyone... for anything...” answered Rey in a pensive tone.

“You were smart to get that implant.” he remarked.

“Yes, they were offering it for those who wanted back when we stopped by a medical facility. Everybody got one. I guess nobody wants a baby in the middle of a war, do they...” she trailed off.

“I guess not.” he agreed.

It bothered him the fact that he didn’t know how to deal with this situation, that he never knew what to say. Luckily for him, she said it first.

“Well, it doesn’t matter, it can never happen again. This isn’t the time, or the right circumstances, you and I... we are, well, not here for that...” she stated in a weird voice.

“Yes, of course. We were both overwhelmed by lust and we acted on it, nothing more.” he told her and himself.

“Right.”

“Right.”

***

Once they reached the planet, Chewie landed the Falcon on a fog-covered valley, followed closely by Rey and Ben’s ship. Armed with light weapons, the group sneaked through the terrain, hoping the fog would shield them from any surveillance.

The shipyard was alive with sounds of machinery and they could make out the shapes of the stormtroopers making their rounds.

The landmines would make their mission extremely dangerous, thus Ben’s knowledge would be essential.

Ben led them to a blind spot on the fence and cut a hole in it with his lightsaber. After they were all through, Poe whispered to them:

“Alright, Ren, Rey, lead the way.”

Ben and Rey sprinted to the next blindspot, feeling where the first mine was buried. The others followed them closely, making sure to follow their path. They managed to get to the back of the building, avoiding the other mines.

Ben went ahead and knocked two stormtroopers unconscious as Rey dashed towards the door. She commanded the door to open using the Force. Once inside, the group placed explosives as they went, Ben telling them where the key places were.

They managed to sneak deeper into the shipyard without drawing attention, thanks to Ben and Rey.

“This should do it.” said Finn, while looking sadly at the stormtroopers on duty. He knew they were going to die. This was war.

“Let’s go!” whispered Poe.

They made their way back to the fence, once again avoiding the landmines.

“We did it, guys!” yelped Rose.

They sighed in relief, all except Poe:

“Where is Finn!?”

They all looked around looking for him, but it was Poe who saw him first: he was still at the building, crouching behind some crates.

“I’ll go get him!” Rey promptly offered and started to run back followed by Poe.

“No, Rey, wait!” Ben said but she wasn’t listening.

Sensing the mines, she led the way back to Finn and Poe lunged at Finn, hugging him tight.

“What are you doing?” Poe asked Finn, exasperated.

“I’ll tell you later.”

When they were about halfway back, an alarm went off. That caused the three of them to dash through the field towards the Falcon as squads of stormtroopers lined up to open fire.

As much as she tried to avoid them, Rey accidentally stepped on a mine. Within a microsecond, Rey reflexively used the Force to hold back the explosion. When Finn and Poe had time to react, they witnessed wide-eyed Rey straining to contain the deadly blast with all of her might. Both opened fire against the troopers to cover her as she tried to control it.

Ben panicked at the scene and ran to her, while Chewie and Rose opened fire also.

The contained explosion had become larger as her control faltered, but she couldn’t move or she could step on another mine. They were in a dangerous cross-fire and were stuck, not being able to go back, depending on Rey to avert the mines.

But suddenly, she felt Ben behind her. As he joined his power to hers, she immediately felt her own power stabilize and control came back to her.

“ _Aim for the sky._ ” he said in her head.

Empowered by his presence, the Force obeyed their command and the fiery mass ascended quickly, exploding in the sky like fireworks. She gave him a thankful look before they led the way through the grounds.

“Rose! Hit it!!” Poe shouted.

Rose pressed the button and the building was engulfed by tiny explosions that grew to be an blazing inferno. The blast caused the troopers to stop firing, giving them a chance to leave.

“Go!” Ben shouted to the occupants of the Falcon.

Chewie and Poe took off and made the jump, while Rey and Ben retreated back to their ship.

***

Once they were safely in hyperspace, Ben asked, irritated:

“What was that? What was he doing?”

“I think he was trying not to kill the stormtroopers…” Rey replied.

Seeing Ben’s baffled expression, she continued:

“He wants to set them free. Give them back to their families.”

Ben frowned even more, perplexed.

“He didn’t want us to kill them, that’s why he lured as many as he could out of the shipyard before it exploded…” she explained.

“That’s foolish. He put the mission in danger. He put you in danger. This is war. People die.” Ben argued.

“I know this seems strange to you, but I agree with him, we all do. We don’t want to kill people. We are trying to avoid it at all cost. It was something that Rose said to him…”

Ben couldn’t fathom the idea of not killing your enemies. It was insane, not to mention dangerous.

“I don’t expect you to understand or agree. But this is the way we’ll do this.” Rey continued.

“It will be difficult to win a war without killing your opponent.” Ben pointed out.

“There are many ways to solve a conflict that doesn’t involve killing.” she stated putting and end to the conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love awkward space virgins.  
> Also, it's nice to have a little fun with the gang at the shipyard.


	13. Water

“Look, Ben, a lake!” shouted Rey excitedly as they were hiking through the woods. That made him almost smile again. He would never tire of hearing her talking about how much she liked things, it made her Light shine brighter, and he had to shove away in his mind how much he loved that. “Oh, I’m definitely going to go there! Later, of course...” she eyed him and smiled.

“I knew you would like this planet.” he said.

The old temple at Devaron was a simple one, but the lush green forest made up for it. The shallow lake nearby was fed by a waterfall surrounded by a soft stony shore.

They started to investigate the temple and do their research. Rey was hoping to find information about the Grey Jedi.

At the temple’s library, they found books that told tales of the dead order and they carefully took them, adding them to their collection. Unwillingly, they had begun a library of their own of relics and books.

Taking one in his hand, Ben opened it and flipped through the pages. Bittersweet memories surged in his mind as he remembered his training with Luke. He was sure that he would forever hate this religion and anything related to it. But revisiting all this with Rey felt right, none of it was tainted by his trauma. He even began enjoy it again, against all odds.

At the end of the day, before dark, Rey had announced that she was going to the lake and had invited him. He thanked her but refused, not wanting to create more unease.

Setting up their equipment, he noticed a beeping from their comm. It was a message from the rebels. The hologram showed Poe’s face, telling them to keep it low for now, he wanted them to talk in two days to decide where to regroup. Also, there was a message from Finn to Rey.

He paused the hologram before he could hear anything and decided to find her and give her the message. He walked down the path to the lake and found her there.  _ Please, don’t be naked, _ he prayed. Fortunately, she had her underwear on, swimming happily.

Rey was thrilled. The water was fresh, and it served to take away some of the fatigue accumulated from their activities. The lake was only neck-deep, and she welcomed that since she was still learning how to swim.

He announced his presence right away, but she had already sensed him.

“ _ There’s a message for you, from Finn. _ ” he pushed through the bond.

_ “Oh, thanks! Can you play it for me?” _

He walked over to a boulder as she swam closer, and pressed play: 

“Hey, thanks for coming back for me at the shipyard. You risked your life for me, once more. Just know I would do the same for you. Miss you and be careful alone with him.” said Finn’s hologram.

She eyed Ben, grinning as he pouted his lips.

He was trying hard not to look at her in the water. Having seen her naked once, he found himself wanting more, and he knew he wasn’t supposed to.

She smiled softly, and wished for a second that he would join her there, but quickly dismissed the idea.

“To levitate water is the most difficult task. It is considered advanced levitation. You have to contain it at the same time.” he narrated, in the lack of something better to say.

“Do you know how?” she asked, interested.

“Skywalker did teach us, once.”

“Well, let’s see it then!” suggested Rey with a defying smile.

Ben was glad to have something to distract him. He held out his hand and summoned the Force, concentrating his effort to the middle part of the lake. Immediately, a perfect sphere of water started to emerge. It ascended until it detached from the surface. He held it there for a few seconds until he let go and the water came down splashing.

“Now you try it.” he offered, propping his body straight.

She was amazed at that ability and immediately wanted to learn it. Copying his motion, she conjured her power to the same spot. However, all she could conjure were ripples in the water.

Under his curious gaze, she concentrated harder but still nothing. Huffing, she tried one more time and, suddenly, a huge column of water bursted out of the lake up into the sky, raining back down on them both, soaking Ben.

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” she stifled a smile. She couldn’t help but giggle, he looked anything but threatening, all wet like that. He pursed his lips, not at all amused as he removed the simple black shirt he was wearing, wringing it. He placed it on the flat stone and took off his boots to remove the water in them.

“That’s not funny.” he grunted.

“It is a little bit funny...” she giggled. She then Force-pushed another column of water in his direction, but this time he instinctively put his arms up, using the Force to shield himself from most of it.

“Wh... Rey, this is not the time to play around!” reprimanded Ben, until another column was shot in his direction and he had to block it again. He stared at her in incredulity while she laughed even harder.

Suddenly, her laugh was replaced by a yelp.

“Now you’re going to get it.” he said, almost smiling.

Surprised, she found herself high up in the air inside a sphere of water. Rey looked down at Ben who had the most insufferable smirk of victory on his face.

_ Oh, am I? _ she thought, and Force-pulled him to try and escape.

They both fell into the water, submerging for a few seconds. Rey came back to the surface still laughing and Ben soon followed, looking furious, but not really.

“I’ve never seen you kid around before.” she rubbed her eyes. “Who knew that the fearsome Kylo Ren could be funny.”

The mention of that name made his expression turn somber.

“We should go back, it’s going to be dark soon.” he remarked, sounding serious again. He couldn’t remember the last time he swam in a lake, maybe in Chandrila, with his parents as a child...

She saw him getting lost in his thoughts, and suddenly realized that they were together again, alone, in a lake, with very few clothes. Her eyes regarded his naked torso and followed his hands running through his wet hair, combing it away from his face. That was not helping her maintain discipline.

“You’re right, we should go...” she agreed and started to swim back. But without realizing, they locked eyes when she passed in front of him.

“I don’t understand this.” he confessed. His face had turned wistful, wishing he could put down in words what was inside his heart.

Rey knew what he meant. Those terribly dark eyes told her so much, making her realize that she felt it too, these feelings they wouldn’t dare name. She stilled in front of him, struggling with the will to move closer and the promise they had made.

“I don’t understand it either…” she admitted. So much had happened then, she had begun to trust him more. Was it enough for her? She didn’t know, not yet, but she still stepped in his direction, letting go of restraint. Unable to resist it, Ben also went to her, taking her into his embrace.

“Can I kiss you again?” he dared to ask, feeling his cheeks become hot, his rational mind screaming at him not to, while his heart pushed him forward.

She nodded, looking into his eyes with innocent hope. He closed the distance and put his lips on hers softly, barely touching them. He then brushed his lips on hers sideways sending a shiver down her spine. For a while, they kissed only with their lips, enjoying the bliss it brought to their troubled hearts.

They parted briefly, locking eyes, both terrified at the effect that they had on each other; this attraction that had been kindled when they first kissed and now seemed inextinguishable. Lost to it once more, they held each other closer and kissed again, fiercely this time. The feeling of their wet skins in contact was exquisite. She opened her mouth and did that thing with their tongues again. That sent a rush of blood straight to his cock and it quickly became hard inside his pants.

Underwater, Rey wrapped her legs around him. Still kissing her, Ben took them to a part of the lake where a flat soft boulder came out of the water vertically. Gently, he pressed her against it and she responded by holding him tighter, rocking her hips on him, feeling how hard he was. A moan escaped his throat and he felt the need to be closer.

“Can I take this off?” he asked, tentatively putting his hand under her breast band. She promptly said yes and removed it for him. Lifting her up a little out of the water, he dipped his head to kiss her tits, one at at time. Leaning her head back against the boulder, she whimpered with pleasure and grabbed his hair.  _ Stars _ , she loved his hair.

His soft lips brushed her tip first, then he took the whole nipple inside his mouth, suckling and nibbling it. She gasped and pushed it into his face, wanting more of his luscious plush lips on her skin. The water made the contact slick and silky and her skin was the sweetest thing he had ever tasted. He then shifted to the other one, mouthing at it, in a way that made her shiver.

Soon, his hand grabbed the one where his mouth wasn’t and kneaded it, wrenching sweet moans from her. He moved up, his mouth searching for her neck, while his hands never left her.

“Touch me again, Ben, please...” she murmured.

His hand snaked down her body into her underwear and he caressed her nub, just like she had shown him the first time. She was whimpering uncontrollably, taken by the beautiful ecstasy that his touch inspired within her.

While he touched her, she moved back down and her mouth caught his. She caressed his back and then the front, touching his torso, feeling his soft wet skin, all the way down.

“Can I?” she whispered, breaking the kiss briefly, their foreheads pressed against one another.

“Please…” he breathed, wanting nothing more than feeling her hand on him.

Underwater, she opened his pants, her fingers clumsily searching for his hardened member. When she took him in his hand, he hummed against her mouth, soaring with fulfilled want.

Touching each other and kissing, only that seemed enough to end them right there, but they wanted more.

“Let’s get out of the water.” Rey said.

Ben promptly grabbed her and moved towards the shore. He stepped out of the water carrying her with ease. Gently, he set her down on the soft stony shore and got up to quickly remove his pants as she got rid of her underwear. With wild, hungry eyes, he lay on top of her, but with one swift move, she flipped them around.

“Can I do it?” she asked, eyes just as wild as his.

“Yes...” he breathed, shivering with anticipation.

Her movements were not graceful, but she didn’t care. Rey took his manhood in her hand and pushed herself down, until he was fully inside her. Ben arched his back and his eyes rolled back into his head, as a guttural sound escaped his throat.

She cried out as his cock hit her cervix. “Does this feel good? Like this?” she breathed as he reached a place inside her that made her nerves soar with pleasure.

He just nodded, unable to speak as his attention was focused on the feeling of being inside her again.

She started to move on his cock, grazing her clit against his hip bone. Their connection opened up and they felt each other in every way possible, elevating their consciousness to a higher level.

His hands skimmed up her torso, cupping her breasts while she rode him, sending another jolt of pleasure through them. What a view he had: that beautiful woman, her wet skin glistening as she moved, illuminated by the stars of the night sky. Her body was enlivened by lust, her nipples were hard and her skin hot. Her loose wet hair framing her beautiful face. The sounds she was making, her tight pussy swallowing his cock, were driving him mad with lust, and he felt his pleasure mounting.

She looked down and saw that incredible body of his underneath her. Strong arms and pecs making the most beautiful masculine shape. His face was flushed and his expression contorted in pleasure. And those amazing sounds coming out of his throat aroused her even more.

“Oh, Ben… you feel so good inside me…” she let out, basking in the feeling of his body between her legs.

He wanted to respond, but couldn’t find words to describe what he was feeling, there were none.

There was a chaos of desire and angst in that moment between them. This act of deep intimacy and surrender terrified them as much as it drew them in. But there was no room for any rational thought, they were at their desire’s mercy, irrevocably.

She snapped her hips with tight and fast thrust on his cock with increasing intensity. She rode him almost furiously, unable to repress herself. Before long, her orgasm exploded in her, and she howled at the stars in ecstasy. He watched her body and her face change with pleasure as she came on top of him.

“Oh... stars... Rey...” he let out in a strained voice, holding her hips and thrusting up her pussy a couple of times. He erupted into her, pumping ropes of come deep inside her core, groaning loudly as he joined her.

They were panting hard, under the night sky, basking in the aftershocks of their lovemaking. She collapsed on top of him, placing her forehead on his chest, his cock still inside her. His eyes were closed and he was trying to catch his breath as his hands ran up and down her back softly.

After some time, she gazed back up, locking eyes with him, and placed a lingering kiss on his lips, softly, almost hesitantly. His face showed his satisfaction, and he couldn't help but touch her face, brushing a wisp of hair from her forehead, in a sweet gesture, one only a lover would do.

She didn’t move until their bodies had calmed down. They both sighed when she disconnected and she rolled to his side, lying on the soft rocky terrain. They gazed at the stars together as their breaths steadied.

“We really need to work on our self-control...” she observed.

“Indeed, we do...” he responded.

***

They had given up trying to come up with explanations, so they did the next best thing: pretend that nothing had happened. As their visit to the temple ended, a few days later, they packed everything into their ship and left the planet.

At the rendezvous point, they met with the others. Once more, Ben watched Rey be warmly welcomed by her friends. For him, there was only a cold polite nod from Poe.

At the planet Ibaar, they had a meeting with the governor, an old ally of the New Republic. Poe hoped he would be willing to help. They needed a place to build a more permanent base and Ibaar seemed like the perfect one. If they were successful, they could finally leave that lousy place at Attahox. Only Poe and Rey were to attend. Not wanting to draw attention, Ben agreed promptly, staying behind in his ship, avoiding Chewie, Finn and Rose, who waited by the Falcon.

***

The governor was an older man. His brown skin matched his brown hair and slightly oval brown eyes. He was sitting on his command chair as he welcomed the Last Jedi and Commander Poe Dameron.

“Governor, my name is Rey and this is...”

“I know who you are, Jedi, and you Dameron. I would appreciate it if we got to the point.” he interrupted.

“Yes, of course. The Rebellion was hoping to get your support.” declared Rey. 

“And what does that entitle?” The man asked.

Poe stepped forward. “We were hoping to set a base here, and use some of the planet’s ships and soldiers to...”

“No.”

“I-I’m... I’m sorry, I...” Poe stammered.

“My answer is no. Do you want to know why?” the governor asked and the stunned pair nodded. “Did you know I was married once? She was so talented and strong, the smartest woman I’ve ever known, very much like you, Jedi. Do you know what happened to her?” Neither of them spoke. “Kylo Ren killed her.” he informed, looking at them with bitterness in his eyes. “She was the commander of my army, my general, and when the First Order came to my planet demanding we would bow to them, we refused. He beheaded her in front of her army to set an example.”

Rey had stopped breathing.

“That is why, Jedi, I will not help you. You dared to make an alliance with the person that killed my wife, the mother of my children, the love of my life. Please, do not speak, just leave.”

Poe’s expression twisted in shame. He desperately tried to think a retort but finally decided to at least show him some respect. He did as the man asked and turned around to leave without saying a word.

Rey looked back and forth at both men but left also, catching up with him. Her stomach was in knots. They had been reminded of Kylo Ren’s atrocities very effectively. Poe marched back to the ship in silence, Rey right behind him.

“Well?” Finn asked as Poe grabbed his hand and pulled him into the Falcon. 

“Let’s go! C’mon!” Poe shouted to all as no one had moved.

Confused, Rose and Chewie had no choice but to follow them, mumbling a goodbye to Rey.

Rey quickly boarded the ship with Ben who was also puzzled. Once they made the jump he asked:

“What happened?”

Her disappointment resurfaced, an emotion that was gradually being replaced by something else as she had begun to trust him. He felt it in her, as she made no effort to hide it.

“I can show you.” she pushed her recent memory to him.

His breath caught in his lungs. He remembered her, the general who was ready to die for her people. He had taken her life so easily then, never thinking about it ever again. Now he felt it all. How could he ever remedy this?

“Is it true?” she asked, feeling her heart break for that man whose loved one was taken from him. By Kylo Ren’s hand. By Ben’s hand.

Ben felt his remorse coil in his chest once more.

“Yes, I killed her.” he admitted, looking Rey in the eye.

She sustained his gaze for a while, but the sick feeling in her gut made her look away and she got up and left him by himself at the cockpit.

He knew now he was a liability, to her and to her friends. His presence had damaged their operation and delayed their plans in a way they couldn’t afford. And Rey... The way she looked at him…

He followed her to the back of the ship, but she had shut the door to the sleeping chamber. He approached it and almost knocked. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was, how much he regretted it now. But his fear made him back off, and he left her alone for the rest of the trip.

***

The Rebel Base was emptier than usual. Many rebels had been assigned to different missions and the group welcomed it, as they were returning with bad news.

As soon as they landed, Ben left the ship and readily approached Poe. Rey recognized the tension and went after him, fearing the fragile alliance between all of them would come crumbling down.

“Dameron…” Ben called.

“I don’t want to see you or talk to you…”

“Please, give me a chance to…”

“To do what? How exactly do you plan on fixing something like this?”

“We can still go to other systems…” Ben tried but Poe interrupted him.

“That’s not what I’m talking about!” Poe shouted. “That poor man… You know what? It doesn’t matter where your allegiance lies now, it doesn’t matter how helpful your intel is. You will always be Kylo Ren.”

Ben clenched his fists. That name hit him like an insult.

“What else can I do?” Ben muttered, the chaos in his mind roaring once more.

“I don’t know! This is insane! You being here is insane!” Poe was beside himself.

“Poe… stop it! This isn’t the way we do things!” Rey intervened, but he wasn’t listening.

“I want to…” Ben choked on the word.

“You want to what?!” Poe fumed, not caring about the fact that he was shouting at Kylo Ren himself, but then again he never did.

“I want to make things right…” Ben said it, out loud for the first time, wrenching a small gasp from Rey.

“You can’t! Never! You are a murderer! You are the reason we are here! You brought this war upon us and to so many others!” Poe bellowed.

“You’ve killed in this war too, Dameron. Don’t be a hypocrite.” Ben said between his teeth.

Poe gasped in outrage. “How dare you?!” he hissed. “Get out! Go before I shoot you!”

“Poe! This is not your decision to make! You can’t do this!” Rey exasperated.

“Yes, I can! We don’t need him! This was a mistake from the start, Rey! He shouldn't be here! I don’t even know what we were thinking!” Poe wasn’t listening.

“You can’t just…” Rey couldn’t finish her sentence as she felt Ben had already gone out the room.

He had to leave before he did anything stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never knew I had it in me to write that kind of smut. And it will only get worse (or better, depending on your perspective).  
> Is Ben really going to leave? *gasps*  
> Also, I was listening to “Roll Like Thunder” by Jake Wells for the lake scene.


	14. Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favourite chapter. I wrote this entire fanfic just to have this scene in it.

Only the sound of Ben’s steps could be heard across the quiet base as he stomped towards the hangar. He was going to leave them, leave her. He couldn’t stand it anymore. Dameron was right, this had been a mistake from the start, he never belonged in this place, with these people, and now the very idea seemed very stupid. All this had only served to confirm his initial conviction that no matter what he did, he could never atone for his sins. She would never forgive him. As he marched, he tried to remember why he even thought this could work in the first place.

Rey hurried behind him, catching up.

“Ben...” she called out of breath.

He heard her but didn’t stop.

“Ben!” she called him again.

Halting, he straightened his body, clenching his fists:

“I’m leaving.” he simply announced.

“Ben, don’t listen to him, you can’t leave.” she went around to face him, demanding his eyes to look at her, but they denied her that.

“You may rest assured that I will not turn against you. I give you my word.” he continued in a controlled voice, keeping his gaze fixed on the horizon, away from hers. “Dameron is right. You don’t need me. After all our training I can safely say that you have all the power you need to lead the Rebellion to victory and...”

“No, you have to stay and prove him wrong!” she interrupted. “You’ve come so far, Ben! I know that what happened back at Ibaar was terrible but leaving now would only make matters worse!”

“Rey, please...” he begged, his posture lightly faltering.

“Stay!” she almost shouted, her emotions showing through her voice.

“Why should I?” he asked her in his low voice.

“Redemption, Ben! You said it yourself!” she replied, hopeful.

He huffed and shook his head, never looking at her.

She was so confused. If he really wanted to redeem himself why would he leave now? Did he just want to take the easy way out, end it all? She had never expected him to be such a coward. In spite of all he had done to change, in the end, was he still unwilling to be better? Had she been wrong about him, had she hoped in vain, once again?

“You don’t understand.” the words escaped him.

“Understand what?” she countered, exasperated.

He chewed on his lips, and his fists clenched even more.

“Ben, please! Tell me!” she beseeched him.

Giving up the fight, he finally looked at her and stepped forward, his imposing frame in sharp contrast with his vulnerable face, as the words just tumbled out of his mouth:

“You want to know the truth? I’ll tell you. I’m in love with you, Rey. And I know that you could never feel the same, because of who I am and the things that I’ve done. You can’t ask me to stay here and endure that. There’s nothing I can ever do to atone, I know that now. I can never step back into the Light. Never.” his face twisted in pain, and he let out a breath at the end.

He had done it, he finally admitted it to her and to himself, for that matter. Now, he had nothing left. He was as good as gone.

She was stunned.

“Now you know.” his voice just as miserable as he was. “You will be the greatest Jedi this galaxy has ever seen, Rey, I know it. Your Light will shine the brightest. I wish I could be here to see it, but that was never my fate. Goodbye, Rey.” Then, passing her by, Ben continued on his way while he still had the strength to leave her.

His confession had shocked her so much that she hadn’t been able to respond. He hid it so well, she had never sensed it, but then again they both did. She was done fighting it as well. She knew what she wanted, and she knew what she had to do.

***

Ben made his way quickly to the hangar and to the ship he was planning to steal. When he got there, he passed right in front of the Falcon.  _ Monster… you are a monster…  _ he lashed at himself in a flurry of self-loathing. Relying on his determination to numb his feelings, he got to the small cargo ship and boarded it. He was about to turn on the engines when he felt her presence approaching. Defeated, he sighed as he heard her coming on board. He stood up to face her, to fight her even, to dismiss whatever she had to say.

“You’re wrong.” she looked furious.

“Rey, please, just let me go...” he begged. If there was anything left of his heart, it would be breaking.

She took a step towards him and repeated, her expression and voice softening: “You’re wrong, I do feel the same...”

Ben just blinked incessantly in shock, trying to make sense of her words.

“I’m in love with you too... I’ve seen who you really are, and I love all of it… I… I love  _ you _ ...” she told him in that sweet voice of hers.

He was sure she was mocking him, or something. How could she love him, the  _ monster _ ? How could she forgive him? He just stood there like an idiot while she stepped closer to him.

“Ben...” she called him softly, placing her hands on his face, brushing the scar she gave him.

“You... you can’t mean that...” he shuddered, his eyes darting between hers. He couldn’t step into the Light, he would die...

She showed him then. Through their bond, she pushed her love for him and he saw himself as she did, like someone who could be forgiven. Unafraid of his Darkness, she embraced it fully, letting it touch her very soul.

“ _ You’ve already stepped into the Light just as much as I have already stepped into the Dark. _ ” her voice echoed in his mind.

Not only did her Light not kill him, but he felt alive for the first time in years.

His expression softened as he finally allowed himself to believe it. Shaken, he moved closer and wrapped his hands around her waist, releasing a quivering breath he didn’t know he was holding. She then laid a brief kiss on his lips.

“You’re not alone.” she whispered to him.

He replied as they had once done, across the stars: “Neither are you.”

Their lips met again into a glorious kiss, their love for each other aching in their hearts, finally unleashed. He held her in his arms until he broke the kiss to look at the hazel eyes that he adored.

“Will you forgive me, Rey? Will you forgive what I’ve done to you?” Ben pleaded, his voice breaking.

“Yes, Ben, I forgive you.” her words made him realize that, although he still had a lot to make up for, the first step was to simply ask.

“I know I don’t deserve it, but I want to.” he professed, resolute, caressing her face.

“You’ve already started on that path, Ben, all you have to do is continue on it. I’ve seen it in you, I’ve seen what you’ve done so far… and I love you for it, I love all of you, your Light  _ and _ your Darkness...” she said, sweetly brushing his cheeks.

“Oh, Rey, my darling... I love you...I’ve loved you for so long...” he confessed, happiness healing his wounded heart.

They kissed again, their passion burning in their bodies. They broke the kiss and his lips curled up into the first smile she ever saw upon his face, and it occurred to her that it made him look even more handsome. Another kiss and his hands were roaming everywhere with urgency as she braced hers in his broad chest. This time there was nothing to hold back, nothing to hide.

“Let’s go to my room!” she said with her eyes sparkling.

He had never heard a better idea in his entire life. Ben took Rey’s hand and they both dashed across the empty hangar towards the dorms.

When they reached her room, she fumbled with the lock while he hungrily kissed her neck, hugging her from behind. When she finally managed to open it, they tumbled inside laughing. Again, it was the first time she ever heard him laugh and she found that she loved the sound.

Barely closing the door behind them, they slammed against the wall. Ben tugged at her tunic, trying to take it off. He finally wrenched it open, burying his face on her cleavage. Rey started to take her arm wraps off, but quickly gave up on the idea, there was no time. His cape fell to the ground and he hastily removed his own tunic as she ripped away her breast band. They embraced, basking in the feeling of their skin in contact again and kissed so hard it almost hurt. The Force hummed around them once more, blessing their union.

They couldn’t wait. She shucked off one shoe and yanked her pants off as fast as she could, leaving one leg bunched up in the other foot and swiftly reached to unbutton his pants next. He beat her to it and wrenched open his trousers, freeing his erection from his underwear. He hoisted her up, pinning her against the wall and she immediately wrapped her legs around him. He grabbed his cock and positioned it at her entrance, waiting for her to consent.

“Fuck me, Ben...” she breathed, holding onto him like a life raft.

With one swift move he entered her. They both grunted loudly as they felt the deep intimate contact. He started fast right away, pounding into her in a wild rhythm. She punctuated each one of his movements with a high-pitched moan, digging her fingers on his back without neither of them noticing. They locked eyes as he fucked her hard against the wall with desperation, letting go of all the doubts, the fears, letting their emotions surface for the first time.

There was no way they could last long like this. Their moans increased together as their release approached. Soon, their bodies yielded to the rising tension. Ben saw as Rey leaned her head back against the wall and shout out his name, coming around him. With a few more powerful thrusts, he let out a loud groan as his pleasure pulsed through him and into her.

Their hearts were racing, beating together in a blissful haze. Ben was a strong man, but even he was exhausted after all that physical effort. Panting, they slid to the floor and he landed on top of her. Rey brushed her hand through his hair as he laid his head on her chest, short-winded.

“I love you, Rey.”

“I love you, Ben.”

They stayed there long enough to catch their breaths. He then lifted his body from hers and smiled. They laughed as they realized that they hadn’t even had time to remove their clothes properly due to the urgency of the situation. His trousers and underwear were only half way down his thighs and she still had her arm wraps and tunic on, and her pants were crumpled against her boot.

Still in post-coital bliss, he shucked off his boots and removed his pants from his body. Next, he reached for her arm, pulling her arm wrap down slowly and then her ruined tunic. She was smiling at him, observing his movements with appreciation, still dizzy from her high. He then peppered kisses starting with her neck down to her chest, making her purr. He nuzzled his face between her tits and kissed each one. She removed her hair from her half up bun while he sat back to try to untangle her pants.

“We didn’t even make it to the bed.” he remarked, making her giggle.

He got up and offered her his hand, giving her a complete view of his strong body and his gorgeous cock. She took a good look before taking his hand. He lifted her up and placed her in the bed. He joined her, lying beside her, sighing in satisfaction.

They had never felt so relaxed, so comfortable, so close. Their bond had become stronger than ever, they could feel the Force around and through them, as if it was appeased. Ben couldn’t take his eyes off of her, hypnotized at her Light, her beauty. He still couldn’t believe that she loved him, that he had her forgiveness. He thought it was never to be.

Rey finally accepted the truth that had been there all along. She loved him and now heart almost hurt with the love she felt for him. She could feel him through the Force, and she let his Darkness envelop her in velvety feel. It occurred to her how ironic it was that the Last Jedi was in love with the Jedi Killer. But he wasn’t the Jedi Killer anymore, he was Ben, her Ben. And now she was free to love him knowing that, in spite of the road he still had to walk down. This was forgiveness.

“I still can’t believe it...” he whispered, brushing his nose on hers. “I can’t believe you’re here in my arms...”

“We were both holding back so much...” she pondered, and held his face between her hands. “I love you, Ben Solo.”

“Rey...” her words made his heart ache with happiness and he pressed his lips on hers. In return, she licked him softly, enticing him. He then deepened the kiss and their tongues danced together for a while making a new rush of arousal surge between them. The need to be together, to love each other was too great.

“I want to make love to you again...” he whispered in her ear.

“Oh, Ben, yes... yes!” she purred in return.

They embraced even tighter, their legs tangled. One of Ben’s hand smoothed her thigh, pulling it over his hip, while the other caressed her back. Rey was playing with his hair, running her fingers through it, the way she loved to do.

This time they wanted to go slow, to draw the pleasure from it. The first time that night had been about putting out a fire, now it was about love. She turned them over so that she was on top of him. She took her time kissing his plush lips, sensually biting them. She broke the kiss to touch his lips with only her thumb, making him hum and his cock throb. Following the scar that she gave him, she trailed kisses on his skin. She stopped at his neck and mouthed at his skin, wrenching a hiss from him.

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he whispered.

Smiling at him, she moved her hands on his chest, feeling his hard muscles.

“Is it like the smallest touch could tip you over the edge?” she replied, gazing at him.

“Yes…”

“Then, yes, I do…”

Tentatively, she continued her exploration of his body, touching him and kissing everywhere down his torso. He sighed in content, feeling electrified from her touch.

She was facing his cock now, and looked up at him who smiled back. With a feather light touch, she started at the base going up his shaft, making it twitch again. Encircling her hand on his length, she started an up and down motion just like he had shown her. She loved how the skin there felt silky and warm, his cock becoming completely full and thick under her touch. Everything she did had such an intense effect on him. He whispered her name, lost in the sensation, wanting more, wanting her.

After she let go, he gently took her hand and guided her back up. He then flipped them over. It was his turn.

Slowly, he peppered kisses on her neck while his hand grabbed one of her breasts. He brushed his thumb over the tip, making slow circles around it.

“Hum… Ben!” she breathed and moaned, feeling his smirk against her skin.

Soon his mouth replaced his hand and he slowly licked her, making the tip glisten with his saliva. He brushed his lips on her nipple until he took more of her flesh in his mouth, her sensual moans only serving to spur him on.

He caressed his hand down her body, and his mouth followed. He stopped at her stomach, placing slow wet kisses on her skin while his large hands cupped her ass. She had lost control of her passion-filled sounds, not that they cared at this point.

Kneeling in front of her, he took her legs and parted them, so he could look at her. In return, she smiled and opened up more, wanting him to look. She lifted one leg up until her right ankle rested on his shoulder and he immediately grabbed her calf to kiss the inside of her leg, his fingers going down again, slowly.

When he got to her pussy, he gave her a questioning look, and she smiled and nodded. Softly and gently, he pushed one digit inside her channel, making her whimper. She was so warm and soft there, and he desired nothing more than to bury his cock deep inside her again, but first he wanted to pleasure her. Inside, he found his come and her juices mingled together and gathered some on his fingers to smear over her clit. As soon as he did, she closed her eyes and arched her back, moaning his name. He drew small circles over it, like she had taught him, but excruciatingly slow, taking his time. She loved fast and she loved slow, as long as it was with him.

Another state of consciousnesses took them. They were so focused on each other that the galaxy could fall apart and they wouldn’t even notice. Nothing else existed, only these two creatures that had found each other in the most peculiar of circumstances. A love that connected them in more than one way.

Rey reached out her arms to him, inviting him back on top of her. Ben was happy to oblige and, looking at her with those beautiful dark eyes, he positioned himself to enter her. She grabbed his ass and urged him inside her. They let out their breaths as he sheathed himself inside of her for the second time that night. He began to move slowly in and out of her, never breaking eye contact.

She was relishing in the way his cock parted her, how it stretched her, filled her without ever causing pain, on the contrary, it brought her nothing but bliss.

“Say it... tell me...” he implored her, while he pulled out and pushed back inside her, in a fluid motion.

“I love you... I love you, Ben...” she breathed.

“Tell me...” he begged again, his voice straining as he picked up his pace slightly.

“I love you… I love you…” she whispered over and over, chanting their love for the whole galaxy to hear.

She started moving with him as he thrusted into her. He moaned against her neck at the feeling of her warmth clenching around him. He grazed his length inside her, and each thrust seemed to elevate even more his already heightened bodily sensations.

He halted, suddenly, so that he could regain control. She seized the opportunity to maneuver him to lie on his back. Never disconnecting, she sat on his cock, this new angle wrenching a groan from them. She pressed herself on top of him, trying somehow to make him go deeper. Her eyes were closed, she wanted to feel him, just him.

He revelled in the sensation of her on top of him. His hands were free to roam everywhere on her body as she moved up and down his length. She was moaning sensually as she rode him, and that sight took him to new heights. He could feel her, only her.

“Ben…” she mewed.

“Oh, Rey, don’t stop… please…” he begged.

She had started slow but soon picked up speed, she couldn’t help it, it felt too good. They got lost in it completely, they forgot to keep silent. The Force hummed around them, at their union, as they chased their release. She bounced faster on top of him and soon enough she heard him groan loudly. His pleasure washed over him again, his body convulsing violently as he came. Following him, she also came undone, crying even louder in ecstasy.

They just stood there for a while, recovering from their climax, completely spent. After some time, she pulled out and lay back on top of him. She placed a sensual kiss on his mouth as he playfully squeezed her ass. She rolled to his side and he followed, ending up in the same position they started. They just lay there, together, gazing into each other’s eyes, kissing and laughing, basking in their new-found joy.

But eventually, sleep crept in, against their will.

“You’re not alone...” he said under his breath, his mind fading away.

“Neither are you...” she whispered to him, half-asleep.

***

There was no sound, the base was still quiet. The morning sun came through the window and Rey woke up in Ben’s arms. Happiness gleamed inside her as she saw him beside her, sleeping. She regarded his handsome face and wished she could stay there forever, wrapped in the warmth of his arms.

She sighed as she remembered that they had to think of a way to smuggle him back to his cell. Also, they had to figure out how to deal with this mess. She had no idea what Poe had told the others about what had happened or if he still wanted Ben gone. She wondered for a moment how her friends would react if they knew about them. One thing at a time.

Begrudgingly, she shifted her body around, trying her best not to wake him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Ben asked with his eyes still closed, tightening his grip.

“Nowhere…” Rey giggled. “I didn’t want to wake you, you look so cute sleeping…”

He lunged at her biting her neck, making her laugh.

“Good morning, my darling.” he sighed.

“Morning…” she purred, caressing his jaw.

“Are you really here?” he mused, brushing his nose on hers.

She peppered kisses on his cheeks and forehead, making her way back to his mouth. He latched onto her lower lip and, coaxing her mouth open, he slid his tongue inside.

He grabbed her ass and gave it a squeeze, making her moan against his mouth. In response, she clutched his hair, pressing her mouth harder against his. They were at it again, they couldn’t get enough of each other.

“Ben… we have to go! We have to get you back to your cell before anyone notices…” she said, breaking the kiss. “And then we have to sort out where you and Poe stand…”

“Yes, of course.” he faked a serious tone, resuming his kisses on her skin. “Right away.” he grabbed her tits, making her bite her lip.

“That’s not fair!” she laughed but then gazed at him, her eyes burning with desire. Lying on her back, she opened her legs, and reached one hand down.

“Is this what you want, then?” she teased, touching herself.

He had the most wicked smile on his face, as he moved to be on top of her. He was supporting his large body above her on his forearms to have a better view. He pressed the throbbing erection he had woken up to onto her wet folds and entered her with ease. Her beautiful face transformed with pleasure as his cock stretched her core entirely. With flushed cheeks from arousal, her tan skin seemed to shine in the morning light. He pulled out and thrusted back in and he noticed how her tits would bounce with every snap of his hips.

“You’re so gorgeous… It feels so good inside you…” he exhaled, possessed with lust.

With that position, Rey could see his beautiful body towering above her as he pounded into her, the physical effort defining the lines of his strong muscles. Grasping his arms, she looked at the spot where they were connected. His gorgeous cock going in and out of her made her mad with desire and she opened wider for him.

“Ben… more…” she pleaded.

That ripped a guttural sound from him as he crashed into her, always watching what that did to her tits. He was getting close already but he wanted to make her come first. She sensed his will and reached one hand between them to touch her clit. While she touched herself, he began to fuck her harder, climbing higher. She picked up speed, and he grunted at the feeling of her pussy clenching him even tighter. Rey cried as her orgasm hit her, her mind taken into oblivion and back. Ben was right behind her, as he thrusted into her a couple of times before spilling, his orgasm pulsing through his body and his mind.

When he regained his senses, he looked down at her. That beautiful shade of pink had taken over her chest, as it heaved after her orgasm. She looked up at him with such love and devotion, it made his heart melt.

He collapsed on top of her, enjoying what remained of their pleasure.

Suddenly, they heard someone knocking on the door. Rey gasped and tried to get off from underneath him. She got out of the bed, cursing. Ben was lost and, not knowing what to do, he just stood there.

“Rey? Are you there?” they heard Finn’s muffled voice from the other side of the door.

“Get dressed… No! Hide!... No! Just stay there! Don’t make a sound!” she whispered at him while trying to get dressed. She managed to put some clothes on and rushed to the door.

“Yes?” she spoke, attempting to sound normal.

“Hey! Sorry to bother you so early, but Poe told me about what happened last night and the guards reported that Kylo Ren never made it back to his cell, so I guess he finally did it, he left us… I think it’s for the best.”

Rey’s cheeks were still flushed but reddened even more as she desperately tried to think of something to say to him. Should she lie to him? Or should she tell him the truth and risk him getting forever mad at her?

“No, Finn, he didn’t leave…”

“My only concern is the possibility of him turning against us. We have to be ready… wait… what?” Finn halted in confusion. “But he’s not in his cell…”

Rey’s reddened cheeks must have given it away because Finn’s expression changed with understanding: “Is he… is he with you here? Now?”

Feeling braver, she stated: “Yes, Finn, he is.”

“Are you...?”

“What if I am?” she challenged him, tired of hiding.

Finn sighed. “Rey, I would never try to control who you sleep with, I’m just worried that he might hurt you.”

“Finn, really?” she was baffled, but paused, recomposing herself. “Look, I know what he is to you, but I’ve asked you before: trust me…”

“I do, it’s just that not everyone is as ready to forgive him as you are.” Finn observed. 

“I know…” Rey conceded. “Are you mad at me?” she asked, shooting him a pleading glance.

“No… of course not, Rey.” he offered, sincerely.

“I just don’t want you to think that he’s only here because of me. Well, he is partially, but that’s not the only reason. He really wants to make things right.”

“Yeah, I still find that hard to believe, but… I trust you.” Finn told her, trying out a smile. “I should go, we’ll talk later…” and he started to walk away.

“Finn?” she called. “Please don’t tell anyone about this, especially Poe…”

“I promise…”

***

“Dameron, I came here to tell you that I’m not leaving. I don’t mean that as an affront, but as a show of my honesty. I do want to help you end this war. If you don’t trust me, I’ll accept it, but you have to let me keep trying.” Ben declared. “Also, I want to say how sorry I am for what I’ve done to you, I’ve never apologized properly.”

Poe squinted his eyes, weighing his words. His expression was fixed into a frown of incredulity, making Ben hesitate if he should continue explaining. Shifting in discomfort, Ben was about to add something when Poe finally spoke:

“Do you really want it? To make things right?” the pilot asked, lifting his left brow, still suspicious.

“Yes.”

“I see… you really surprised me, Ren. I thought you’d be gone by now, and stars know that I never expected an apology from you.” Poe said, solemn.

“I mean it. I am sorry.” Ben repeated.

Poe made another pause, making Ben cringe. But then the pilot stood up and reached out his hand towards Ben. Unsure, he shook Poe’s hand.

“You can stay, if you wish.” Poe agreed, feeling strange to even say that to him.

Ben nodded and then let go.

“Dameron?” called Ben.

“What?”

“May I ask something?”

_ The nerve _ , Poe thought, but conceded: “What is it?”

“Call me Ben... Ben Solo.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited about this chapter and this fic. Thank you so much for your kudos!  
> Ben has only just begun his path to redemption.  
> Also, it was about time these two space idiots admitted it!


	15. Research

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just smut... just smut, guys!

The days that followed were tedious to everyone but Rey and Ben. The base at Attahox was falling to pieces as usual so they had to do a lot of fixing and cleaning, but they didn’t mind at all. Ben actually preferred manual labor than all those endless meetings he had to endure at the First Order. So much for the Supreme Leader he was.

Poe and Finn had begun to be less distrustful of Ben, despite still being cautious. Rose was the one who didn’t mind as much but she mostly left him alone. Chewie, however, was still actively avoiding Ben, voicing his dissatisfaction every time they would cross paths. So Ben kept it to himself, trying to avoid any confrontation or unease, for he was unsure if he would be able to keep his newly established milder temper under control should something happen. As for Rey, she knew it wasn’t up to her to fix any of this, but she hoped that in time they would come around.

Still, they all had settled into a peaceful truce, working together as they had to, and it seemed to be enough.

During the day, Ben and Rey trained and studied together while also participating in the activities around the base. Even though they were still at war, the two of them had never been happier.

Whenever he could, Ben would escape his cell to go to Rey’s room. Sometimes, they would make love until it was dawn. In those days, they had to use the Jedi mind trick on the guards to get him back. Unwilling to spend one second apart, they took any opportunity to be together, and made the most out of it.

***

Rey raised her head in recognition of his approaching presence. As Ben opened the door, she pounced into his arms and he caught her.

“You’re late!” she joked between kisses.

“I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you, promise.” he grinned.

Still in his arms, Rey freed her hair from her three buns while Ben took her to her bed.

“So, hum... I’ve been doing some research...” he told her casually, as she lay in the bed, while he changed into his sleep clothes.

“Research?” she asked innocently, as he joined her in the bed, spooning her.

“You know... seeing as I am inexperienced in the art of lovemaking, I thought I’d educate myself...” he had a pompous tone and a grin.

She turned around to look at him, suddenly very interested:

“Oh?”

“Yes, and... well, I learned a few things...” he was smiling a wicked smile.

“What things?” she purred.

“I could show you, if you want...” he offered.

“Hum, alright, let’s see if I like it...” she was definitely interested.

“If you don’t, tell me right away, alright?” he wanted to make sure she was enjoying it, since he wasn’t sure if she’d like what he had in mind.

She nodded and he moved to be on top of her. He looked at her with his beautiful dark eyes that always made her week in the knees, full of mischief. He kissed her, his soft plush lips against hers at first gentle, but then more urgent. He trailed kisses down on her body, from her neck to her belly, stopping shortly on her tits to kiss them over her sheer nightshirt. So far, so good.

When he got to her lower abdomen, he hooked his fingers under her underwear and looked at her, asking for permission and she granted by helping him remove it. As he took the piece of garment off, he was granted a view of her beautiful pink slit and it made him shiver with anticipation. She was very curious to find out what he had in mind, she really had no idea.

He kissed the interior of one thigh all the way down, getting closer to where he wanted to be. She wriggled with impatience, always smiling at him.

When his lips landed on her clit, a jolt of electricity shoot through her, making her gasp. He kissed her there, his lips going up and down the sensitive bundle of nerves wrenching uncontrolled moans from her. He smoothed his tongue over it, sending shivers across her spine, making her arch her back and grab instinctively at the bed frame.

“Ben!” she breathed, unable to restrain herself.

“Do you like it?” he asked from between her legs, stopping what he was doing.

“Yes! Don’t stop!” she commanded.

He grinned and put his mouth back on her. She tasted so sweet, so delicious. It was like he was drunk on her, tasting her with unrestrained enthusiasm. All he wanted was to pleasure her, and all the pleasure she felt reflected back at him.

She began to rock her hips against his mouth, while trying to stifle her moans. He then pressed one finger inside her and she gasped. He pumped it in and out of her channel as he sucked on her clit.

She was experiencing a heightened sensation of what they had done before, so different than when she touched herself. It felt like her clit was a fuse to light her entire body on fire. The soft and at the same time intense touch of his plush lips on the most sensitive part of her was exquisite. She grabbed a chunk of all that hair and guided him where she liked best. Soon enough, she could feel that familiar tingle in her spine announcing her climax.

“Ben… you’re going to make me come...” she said in a strained voice.

He then introduced a second digit and pumped his fingers deeper and faster into her cunt. He took more of her flesh into his mouth, stimulating it with his tongue. She grunted and held his head in place while her pleasure washed over her. Little earthquakes ravaged her body and she saw stars, shouting in release.

Ben kept at it until she came down from it. He had learned from the holobooks and videos that women enjoyed the aftershocks as well, so he brushed his thumb over her swollen clit tentatively, always looking at her to see if she liked it.

“Oh, Ben... what did you do to me..?” she managed to say. Her body was still responding to his touch, legs trembling and twitching with each stroke of his digit.

He was kind of proud - a lot actually - that he was able to make her feel like that. He hadn’t been sure if she would like it, afraid she might think it was too weird.

“Did you like it?” he asked with a goofy smile, looking up at her from between her legs.

“Liked it? I loved it!” she let out a half-moan-half-laugh. “Oh, Ben… I loved it… I need time to recover...”

***

Ben stood up, waiting for her to open the door to his cell. The guards let her in and, as soon as they closed the door, he snatched her in his arms. That day had been especially stressful as they had learned that the First Order had completed the construction of the new dreadnaught.

“Oh, Rey…” Ben sighed, burying his nose in her hair. He was tired and the only thing that could soothe his soul was Rey.

“Ben...” for she felt the same, only being able to sleep well in his arms. “The war will be over soon...” she hoped.

Suddenly, they were a mess of limbs and kisses, groping each other and panting, their passion surging once more. She pushed him back to his cot, sitting him down and kneeling in front of him. He eyed her, curious. He didn’t know it then, but she had a plan.

“I want to taste you...” she murmured, running her hands over his thighs.

His jaw dropped in surprise. He had stumbled upon that on the holovideos he had seen during his research but he hadn’t mustered up the courage to ask her, imagining that it wouldn’t be pleasant for her. So when she offered it freely with the most sensual voice, his arousal spiked, and he nodded, giving her his enthusiastic consent.

Gazing at him with eyes wide with lust, she unbuttoned his pants and stroked his cock over his underwear until his member was full and thick. She then pulled down the fabric, making his throbbing manhood spring forth. The sight of it made her mouth water and she hoped she would do this right.

She took his cock in her hand and stroke it a few times, gazing up at him, paying attention to his reaction. His face was flushed in a tug of war between shyness and arousal. She smiled at that and then…

“Oh… stars…” he let out his breath as she took him in her mouth, slowly.

He couldn’t help the guttural sound that came out of his throat. Her mouth was hot and slick, just like her pussy. Sliding her mouth over his tip, she sucked lightly at it, and a moan of pleasure escaped her throat.

She licked up his shaft from the base to the tip a few times. Always holding his cock in her hand, she kissed his sensitive tip softly, brushing her lips sideways. Then, she flicked her tongue over it, always paying attention to his responses.

He couldn’t believe the sensation of what she was doing to him. He was lost in it, helpless, moaning and begging:

“Oh, Rey... It feels so good... please, don’t stop... don’t stop...”

Encouraged by his reaction, she drove his cock all the way down her throat, as far as she comfortably could, using her tongue to stimulate him. That made him grunt too loud, but he couldn't help it, it felt too good.

She expected it to be strange, but it wasn’t, arousing him aroused her. Enjoying this new experience as much as he was, she found that she loved teasing him with her tongue, she loved making him moan, just like he had done to her.

His hands ended up in her hair and he was trying hard not to buck his hips into her mouth. With one hand driving the up and down motion, she sucked his cock harder, increasing the pressure.

Soon, he felt his orgasm approaching as his pleasure mounted. He was unsure of what to do, certainly she didn’t want him to come in her mouth.

When he thought he couldn’t last anymore, he said with a strained voice:

“Rey, darling... I’m going to come...” he warned her.

He expected her to back off, but instead, she only picked up her pace, driving him deeper. He wanted to warn her again, but it was too late. With a loud groan, he came in her mouth. His head tilted backwards as one of the most intense orgasms that he had ever had took over his all his senses.

She felt his cock pumping into her mouth, flooding it with his spend. Oh, the taste of it was exquisite, warm and salty and just _his_. Moaning, she tasted him on her mouth before swallowing every drop.

When he came back, she gently pulled out, grinning at him victoriously.

“You’re not the only one who has done research.” she quipped.

The holovideos that she had found made her blush almost comically but she had definitely liked it, delighted to find new ways to expand this experience with him. She was surprised to realize that there were many things a man and a woman could do to each other in the bedroom and was eager to try it all with him.

He laughed still feeling the aftershocks. “What did you do to me?”

Later, as she left his cell, she waved her hand to the guards:

“You’ve heard no noise coming out of this cell” she said.

“We’ve heard no noise coming out of this cell” the guards repeated in unison.

***

All throughout the day, Ben could smell the sweet scent of her cunt in his hand. Her smell was everywhere in his body really. Earlier that morning, he had tackled her into a maintenance closet and they fucked quickly and quietly, before anyone could notice their absence.

“Hey, Solo! Are you listening?” Poe called, snapping his fingers in front of Ben’s lost gaze.

“I’m sorry… you were saying?” apologized Ben, refocusing, but not before shooting a glance at Rey from across the table with a grin. She blushed as he transmitted his thoughts to her, as if she couldn’t guess. She smiled recalling his large hands all over her, tugging fiercely at her clothes until they found her flesh.

Ben was trying hard to focus on Poe’s report, but his mind wandered back to the moment when he pushed her against the wall and slid his hand into her underwear. He was not surprised to find her already wet.

Rey also attempted to discipline her attention to Poe’s words but all she could think about was when Ben placed her on the table and she reached for his cock, stroking it a few times before he slipped into her, locking her hips to his.

It only took him a few thrust to make her come, and he watched her face twist into a silent cry as she climaxed around his cock.

After her orgasm, it was her turn to watch him come. And he did, bucking his hips onto her until he was completely spent.

“Rey!” Poe shouted.

“I’m sorry, Poe! I’m listening!” said Rey, quickly turning her head back to him, her smile fading.

 _“You’ve gotta be kidding me…”_ lamented Poe at his unfortunate fate to have to deal with this two idiots who thought they were hiding anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love me some space bunnies figuring out sex!  
> Sex positive tag!  
> Also, did I mention this is trash? It's trash, guys.


	16. The Third Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my pathetic attempt at honouring these characters that I grew up with and love dearly. It's too cheesy, I know.

Ben woke up with the sun in his eyes. He frowned and let out a moan as he shifted to his side. His eyes found Rey who was lying beside him on their bed, with her back to him. She was naked, like he was, the sheet covering only half way up her hips. The sun invaded the room, illuminating the portion of her body that was exposed, giving him a perfect view of her lovely curves. He marvelled at the beauty of the woman he was in love with. The woman that had saved his soul.

Their room was simple but nicely decorated. They had really put a lot of love and effort in their new home. It meant a lot to them.

She moved a little, stretching her arms and covering her face. He immediately slid closer and held her from behind, kissing her neck.

“Good morning, darling.” he said between kisses.

He loved it when they did that, these stolen moments in the morning, before she got up to start her day at the Jedi temple.

“Morning...” she purred and arched her back, pressing her pert bottom against him. She noticed right away the huge erection he had woken up to, and it sent a wave of arousal through her, ending up right between her legs, even if she had only just woken up.

“You were looking so delicious lying there, with this gorgeous ass of yours. I wanted some...” he said with his deep voice in her ear. She giggled and rubbed her body once more against his.

“I love it when talk like that to me...” she purred.

“You do?” he cupped one of breasts and pinched her nipple, bucking his hip on her. “Do like it when my cock gets hard on you like this?”

“Ben...” she breathed.

“Do you like it when I fuck you from behind?”

“Yes…” she replied.

He skimmed a hand down her stomach, until he got to her pussy. Pressing a finger inside, he noticed she was already slick.

“You’re so wet for me, my darling, so ready for me...”

“You make me so...” she moaned. “I want your cock inside me, Ben...”

“As you wish, my love.” he said, grabbing his erection and shoving it into her cunt with one move.

Rey cried with pleasure as she felt his entire length completely inside her, filling her, completing her, like it always did. Ben started to rock his hips and at the same time his hand rubbed her clit. He loved hearing her moan from the things he did to her, he loved pleasuring her, he wanted to give her everything.

She joined him with her hands on her, guiding him to where she liked the most, while he fucked her from behind. Her tight pussy squeezed his cock so deliciously, making it difficult for him to last sometimes, but he never shied away from the challenge.

Their love was so intense, so sweet, so precious and the sex reflected that. They got lost in the rhythm, and they felt their pleasure rising.

“I want to feel you coming inside me, Ben... ” she panted.

He wanted to respond, but was unable to as he thrusted faster into her. He moaned in her neck, coming hard inside her pussy. That sensation triggered her own orgasm, as they both stimulated her clit. She arched her back even more, vocalizing with him as their orgasms ravaged their bodies.

They came down from it slowly, their breaths erratic and their heartbeats in sync. He hummed in content with the happiness that filled his heart at that moment. They were still enjoying their post-coital bliss when she suddenly remembered:

“Oh, no, we’re going to be late!” she said. “We have to go, Ben!”

He then looked at the clock and realized that she was right.

“Kriff… But it was worth it, wasn’t it?” he said with a wicked smile.

She just bit her lip to hide her smile and pressed a kiss on his hand: “Come on!”

They got up, took a shower and got dressed as fast as they could. They still had to prepare an entire meal for five people and a wookie. They jumped to action, Rey chopping the produce as Ben did the cooking. It was a lot of work, but they loved it, and it was important.

After some time, they had most things done, it wouldn’t be long before they were there. Their house smelled of their delicious cooking and of the flowers that Rey had started to grow on their garden. She had wanted that for so long after living her entire life in Jakku. And Ben loved that she loved these things. If it hadn’t been for her, he would never have had this life, this home.

His thoughts were interrupted by the pull of a familiar feeling of proximity. They both raised their heads in recognition of Master Luke’s Force Signature and smiled at each other. She ran to the door to greet her master as he followed closely.

Rey opened the door before Luke could knock and smiled at the sight of his dear uncle.

“Master Luke! Welcome!” she said hugging him.

“Hello, Rey, thank you!” said Luke smiling widely at her. “Hello, Ben!”

“Uncle! Welcome to our home!” greeted Ben, hugging his old uncle. “So? What do you think?”

“It’s a beautiful, lovely home! You did a great job.” he complimented with his sharp blue eyes sparking with pride.

“I’m so glad you liked it! I’ll show you around!” Ben offered.

“Maybe we should go outside first, your mother is here.” Luke observed.

Ben had felt her presence too and they all went outside to watch the Millenium Falcon as it landed on their yard. Rey looked joyful, beaming with excitement. The ship opened its ramp and out came Chewie. He roared as he lunged to hold Rey first, lifting her from the ground. She laughed and patted his back. After hugging Luke, the wookie snatched Ben in a crushing embrace, petting Ben on the head as he seemed to be the only creature taller than him in the whole galaxy.

When Chewie let go of him, he saw his mother and father getting off the ship. Ben observed them greeting each other with affection. Brother and sister, old best friends, new daughter, family.

Leia finally approached him. He had to bend over very low to hold his mother since he was about fifteen years old.

“Hello, Ben...” she said lovingly, hugging him tight.

“Mother... I’m so glad you are here!” Ben told her. Leia then held her son’s face in her hands to look at him.

“Oh, Ben, we are so happy to be here!” 

Right behind her was Han.

“Hey, kid...” he greeted, giving Ben one of his strong hugs. “So wonderful to see you, son...”

“Father!” Ben rejoiced, hugging Han in return. “How are you?” he asked them both.

“Good, good!” replied Han. “I had to replace the Falcon’s compressor again, can you believe it?”

“Your father won’t admit it but it was overdue.” said Leia, smiling at them.

“Well, let’s see the house!” Rey suggested.

Ben and Rey showed them the house they had build together. It wasn’t far from Luke’s temple and had a garden with a small pond with a few fish. Taking Leia’s arm, Rey was glowing as she proudly showed them her vegetables and her flowers. Leia remarked all the time how lovely it all was. Han patted Ben on his back and smiled at his only son.

They went inside to have the meal together. They all ate and complimented the food, saying how delicious it was. Ben had become a very talented cook.

This kind of domestic life felt foreign to him, but it was undeniably comforting. It had been so long since they had shared a meal together that it felt almost strange. But they were merely rusty and, a few moments in, they were laughing and telling stories, just as effortlessly as if they had never stopped.

“I’d like to thank you for coming, it means a lot to us that you are here. This is the first meal all of us had at this house together, and let it be the first of many. Cheers!” Ben discoursed, raising his glass, holding Rey’s hand. 

“Cheers!” they said in unison.

After the meal, they helped clean up and Ben went outside to bury the compost. Leia followed him.

“Ben, let me help you!”

“No, mom, I’ll do it, I don’t want you to soil your hands.”

“Nonsense!” she scoffed.

They started working together on the garden. Leia was an experienced gardener just like Ben remembered.

“It’s been such a long time since I haven’t done this!” she grinned, touching a petal.

“Mother…”

“Yes, dear?”

“Are you upset with me?”

She halted, and let out a sigh.

“No, Ben… not upset. I was scared, really. I confess that when you left so suddenly I was terrified something bad had happened to you. It was clear that something wasn’t right. But I understand it now.”

“Looking back now I realize how confused I was.”

“Of course, you had to be free to live your own life...” she offered sincerely.

Ben paused for a moment trying to put down in words the mess that was his head. But Leia beat him to it.

“Are you happy, son?”

He gazed at her. They had always been close, but the recent years he spent away had caused a rift in their relationship and they hadn’t talked about it properly since he came back.

“Yes, I am now.”

“That’s all I want, you know, for you to be happy.”

“I know... Mother, I’m sorry...” he sighed. “I’m sorry I was gone for so long, I should have contacted you, or something... I’ve been a terrible son...” he blurted out.

“Never say that, Ben, it’s not true.” she assured him. “You are back now, that’s all that matters.”

“No, I… I wanted to tell you that my leaving had nothing to do with you or father… or uncle Luke.”

“I know, Ben…”

“And that I wished I could have handled it differently.” he let out. 

“Ben… Ben… look at me.” Leia put her hand on his arm, as if to calm him. “It’s alright…”

Ben held her gaze: “I missed you… I missed you all.”

“We missed you too, son…”

***

They got back in and Ben saw Rey discussing compressors with his father. Ben knew how much Han loved talking about the Falcon and had found the perfect partner for discussion in Rey. Leia left him and walked over to them. Han wrapped his arm around her as she joined the conversation.

He then approached Luke.

“Rey tells me that the new students are causing you trouble…” Ben grinned.

“Oh, kids these days!” he laughed. “But I have great people to help me.”

They paused for a moment.

“Uncle, did I disappoint you?”

“Ben… don’t say that!. Luke faced him.

“I know that you saw great power in me, our bloodline comes from the Force itself and I always thought it was my duty to continue it. I guess I never stopped to think if that was what I really wanted...”

“Well, Ben, you taught me a lesson. I should have  _ asked _ you. Simple as that. And I never did, none of us. So I will never be mad or disappointed in you for leaving the Order. I just never knew what was going on with you. If I had known...”

“I didn’t know it myself. It took me a long time to realize that I didn’t want to be a Jedi after all. I was so angry and confused. I would have fallen into the Darkness if it wasn’t for her.”

“Yes, her Light is the brightest.” remarked Luke. “She really did save you, didn’t she?”

“If my travels hadn’t led me to Jakku, things could have been very different.”

“I suppose I should thank you! You brought me my best student and the most talented Jedi this galaxy has ever seen!” rejoiced Luke with a wide smile. “We only want happiness for you, for the both of you. And it seems that you have it, don’t you?”

“Yes, we do.” Ben said, looking at his family, together. His mother, his father, his uncle, Chewie and Rey. He knew he was lucky to have them. To have her.

“Ben, you just got back… take your time to rebuild the relationship that you had with them. Be patient and it will come.”

“And with you… I thought you would be angry at me.”

“No, Ben, never… the most important thing is that you live your life freely.” Luke assured him, and then he gazed at Rey. “Your love for her is precious, and you should cherish it every day.”

“I do.”

“I know. It shows...” said Luke with a warm smile.

***

Later, Ben joined his father outside as they were having a glass of wine. They drank in silence until Han said:

“When you were little, you had terrible night terrors, do you remember that?”

“Yeah…”

“I was always worried that it meant something, you know? Something about you being Force sensitive that I didn’t understand…” Han spoke. “Whatever it was, I’m glad that we chose not to send you away.”

Ben smiled weakly and nodded. He remembered his parents fighting over it. They blessedly decided that he would start his training when he was older.

They paused for another sip.

“Father… do I make you proud?” Ben forced the words out of his mouth.

“Son, I’ve never been more proud of you.” Han reassured him, surprised at the painful way Ben had said it.

Ben nodded again, angry at himself for not being able to voice his feelings properly.

“It takes guts to admit the truth and be honest, and you did it, kid.” Han continued, but his face changed a bit, as if he was struggling with words himself. Ben realized that maybe that was where he got it from.

“I abandoned you... I...”

“Ben, look at me.” said Han, suddenly very serious. “I don’t blame you for leaving, you must know that. Sometimes we need to take a step back to see things clearly.”

“I guess so.”

“Son, between us, this makes so much more sense to me, knowing you. You just needed time to put your head back in order.”

Ben sighed in relief, wondering why it was so hard to talk about these things. Especially to the people that mattered most.

“You’re a good kid.” said Han, and Ben knew what he meant.

“Thanks, dad.”

“So? What now?” asked Han casually. “Do you have a plan?”

“Well, Rey’s training is the priority for us now and we just want to make the most out of our new life. But I was thinking I’d join the New Republic’s Army. They have a station here…”

“Really? You’d make a fine officer! You had your mother to teach you!” Han smiled, patting his son on the back.

***

“Goodbye, Ben, we’ll see you soon at the festival. Chandrila should be especially beautiful this year, I know Rey will love it.” said Leia to her son.

“I wouldn’t miss it for any world.” Ben promised. Leia kissed his cheek and then Rey’s.

“Bye, kid, it was wonderful to see you and your new house.” said Han, smiling.

“Dad, I’m so glad you came, it means a lot to me.” Ben said, hugging his father.

“Will I see you at the temple sometime?” said Luke, hugging his nephew goodbye.

“Of course! I’ll be sure to drop by.” Ben promised.

Chewie hugged Ben again almost breaking his ribs. Huffing, Ben said goodbye to the wookie as they all boarded the Falcon and left.

That night, Ben held Rey in his arms, his heart floating with happiness for having everything he had.

“Rey?”

“Yes, Ben.”

“Thank you...”

“For what?”

“For bringing me back to my family. If it weren’t for you…”

“Ben... I never did anything, you came back to them from your own free will.”

“You opened my eyes, made me realize what I was missing. I would have fallen into so much suffering if I hadn’t come back. I think my ship malfunctioning in Jakku that day was the will of the Force. Without that, I wouldn’t have met you...”

“Wise Force...” she quipped, kissing his nose. “You were brave enough to be honest with your family, telling them you didn’t want to be a Jedi. That’s important.”

“It makes me happy that you think that. Now you are the Jedi who is going to carry uncle Luke’s legacy. I admire you for it, you know that, right?”

“Yes...” she said, blushing a little.

His dark eyes gazed at her with so much adoration, and they told her how much he loved her, more than words could ever translate.

“You’re not alone...”

“Neither are you...”

***

Ben woke up from the dream with a fright. It had been so real, to be with his family again, what it might have been, in a different life. Well-known grief took over him, making him nauseated.

He couldn’t stay in bed, or stay still for that matter. Getting up quickly, he paced around the room until he couldn’t stay inside anymore. He rushed outside and stomped aimlessly through the empty hallway.

Rey woke up as well, sensing his desperation. She looked for him until she found him sitting on the floor, miserable, the lingering memory of the dream punishing him.

“Ben, darling, what happened?” she rushed to him.

He couldn’t answer. Once again his emotions stopping at his throat, never allowing him to cry.

“Would you like to show me?” she offered.

He pushed the dream into her mind. She held him and the tears he couldn’t cry escaped through her eyes. He envied that so much. He had to do something, or else he would go insane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, Bendemption has begun.


	17. Yavin 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very personal chapter for me.

“Dameron?” said Ben.

“Yes, Solo?” Poe answered without taking his eyes from the holo map.

“When my mother died... did you bury her?”

His question made the pilot lift his gaze from his work and face Ben with a pained expression.

“When Leia passed, her body became one with the Force, there was nothing to bury.” Poe told him.

Ben clenched his fists and nodded.

“But we did have a funeral, we built her a memorial, a grave of sorts...” Poe continued.

“Where?” Ben asked, his voice barely audible.

“On Yavin 4. She told us it was the place where the Rebels had their first victory against the Empire, where she first became friends with your uncle and your father.”

Ben just nodded again, chewing on his lips. He remembered the story his parents had told him about the first Rebellion.

“But, Solo... there’s more...” Poe told him with weary eyes.

***

They landed on Yavin 4 as its sun was setting. Ben had asked Rey to wait on the ship, so he could go alone. She was watching him while he walked over to the place where they had built her grave.

When he got nearer, he saw it: three graves, one for Leia Organa, one for Han Solo and one for Luke Skywalker.

So far, only small amounts of his grief had been allowed to come out. But no longer. This time, it hit him fully. Unstoppable, it razed what was left of his soul once more.

“It... It should...” he tried.

 _Murderer, torturer, monster. You killed them. And now you are sorry._ _Pathetic_.

His breath shook in his lungs with the pain tearing at his heart.

“It should have been me... It should have been me lying in this grave... not you... me...” he painfully muttered to the empty tombs.

Finally, for the first time in all those years, the tears came, allowing Ben to cry for his family. They flooded his eyes and he couldn’t breathe. Rey saw as he collapsed to his knees, and ran over to him. She caught his fall and placed him gently on the soft grass as he sobbed. His lament shook his body as he held onto her desperately, his face buried on her lap.

Through the bond, Rey felt it all, and tears came down on her cheeks as well. Suddenly, she noticed a familiar presence and looked up. Luke Skywalker was there, gazing at his nephew with sadness in his eyes. He kneeled beside them and hovered his phantom hand over Ben’s shoulder. Immediately, Ben’s convulsion stopped and his breath steadied, leaving him only with the consolation of tears in Rey’s arms. Ben never noticed his uncle’s presence.

***

They got back to the ship, Rey shouldering him as best she could. His face was calm but his eyes would always give away the turmoil that raged in his heart. She took him to the ship’s cot and laid him there gently. He let his body fall on the mattress and stayed there for the rest of the trip.

Back at the base, Ben kissed Rey on the forehead and went straight to his cell. She let him go, she thought she’d give him some space. Poe and Finn, who had welcomed them, noticed Ben’s expression as he rushed past them.

“So, how was it?” asked Poe. “Not that I care about him, or anything...” he added quickly.

“Oh, Poe, it was... I don’t think I could describe it to you.” she answered, worried about Ben.

“That bad, huh?” said Finn.

“Yes.” Rey confirmed, defeated.

“He should know what he did to her, he should feel all of it.” Poe’s words were bitter, but Rey noticed a slight trace of pity in his voice.

“What about you? You alright?” Finn asked.

“I don’t know, Finn...” she trailed off.

***

Many days passed and Ben was still depressed. He wasn’t functioning, and spent his time in his cell, lying on the cot. Rey had set up a makeshift bed for her beside him and stayed there as much as she could. She’d check on him once in a while and he would respond with loving but brief words.

By the second week, she decided he shouldn’t stay in his cell anymore, it wasn’t healthy. Besides, everyone had stopped caring, and the guards had been assigned to other tasks.

When she got there, like she did every night, he was lying down but turned to face her, his eyes closed. He reached a hand in her direction.

“Ben, let’s go to my room. You shouldn’t stay here, it’s not helping you.” she said, holding his hand against her cheek.

“It’s alright, darling, I don’t mind...” he spoke in a croaky voice.

“Come on, Ben, I won’t let you stay here.” she said firmly.

He then sat down, with half-lid eyes, hunching. She nudged him up and he followed, completely apathetic.

She walked him to her room and when they got there, she offered her shower and some new clothes she had gotten him. He gladly accepted it and thanked her with a kiss.

They lay in bed together side by side. His eyes were lost, couldn’t focus on her. He wondered if he was ever going to feel anything else even again. He wanted to live, he wanted to be happy, he wanted to be with her. But how could he want these things when he had taken them from so many? He had no right.

“I love you, Rey...” he whispered, blinking slowly. Even speaking seemed to take up every bit of the scarce energy he had.

“I love you too, darling.” she replied, her fingers brushing his hair. “I’m so worried about you...”

“Don’t be... don’t waste your time worrying about me.” he murmured.

“Don’t say that.” her heart coiled at how much self-loathing there was in him.

Ben had accepted the punishment of grief but wondered if he would be able to take it. It seemed too great, too much. Lost in his long-delayed mourning, he felt himself falling apart.

“I don’t know how to do this…” he shivered.

“You will find a way, I know you will.” Rey held him tighter.

 _“You’re not alone…”_ her voice surged in his mind.

 _“Neither are you.”_ he replied weakly. “Rey? Can I ask you something?” he muttered, his voice barely audible.

“Yes, Ben, anything.” Rey whispered back at him.

“Would you help me sleep?”

Rey looked at him, horrified to realize that he probably hadn’t been sleeping enough the entire time.

“Of course, my love…” she whispered lovingly, as her heart broke for him.

He sighed and gently kissed her: “Thank you.”

“Ready?” she asked, hovering her hand over his temple.

“Ready.”

With a swift move of her hand, she knocked him out. His pained expression immediately relaxed and his breath steadied. She kissed his forehead, pushing sweet dreams into his mind.

***

“Ben, I brought you some food...” offered Rey, holding bowl of porridge in her hand.

“Thank you, my darling, but I’m not hungry...” she heard his voice say, muffled by the pillow.

“Ben, please, you have to eat something. You haven’t eaten today, have you?” she said, brushing the beard that had grown on his jaw. He looked so pale and was losing weight fast. But she was resolute, she wasn’t going to give up on him.

Ben shifted to sit on the bed. Rubbing his temple, he took the bowl from her hand and had a spoonful. It tasted like ashes in his mouth, but he chewed and swallowed. Rey seemed satisfied with it and smiled. He gazed into her hazel eyes, looking for her Light. It gave him comfort.

Suddenly, he felt his stomach flutter in discomfort and he tasted bile. He abandoned the bowl and rushed to the fresher where he threw up what he had eaten. She followed him there and patted him on his back all the while. She handed him a towel to wipe his mouth, and leaned back on the wall. He felt himself being pulled and let his body fall on her lap, crying in her arms once more.

“Rey... what have I done... I’m sorry… I’m so sorry...” he sobbed as regret racked his heart.

“Oh, Ben...” _what to say to that_ , she thought. She held him firmly, but was so worried. She had no idea what to do to help him.

After some time, she helped him up, slowly. She took him back to bed, and even though it was the middle of the day, she lay there with him. He buried his face in her chest, breathing feebly.

“Is this… Am I… helping you?” Rey asked, shedding a tear.

She heard his croaky voice answer:

“Oh, Rey, if it weren’t for you…”

***

A few days later, Rey took Ben for a walk outside the base. She had insisted he’d sunbathe a little and he welcomed it. He was feeling better, at least enough to get out of bed. He asked if he could walk alone for a while. She left him with a kiss telling him to take his time.

He walked calmly along the cliffs, while the horror of what he had done lashed at him: his blade going through his father’s heart, his uncle’s sacrifice and his mother’s illness.

Leaning against a boulder, he gazed at the horizon. He missed his family so much. And that had been true all along, even as he pushed himself deeper into the Dark Side and shut out the Light. It was his lingering love for them that made everything so painful.

“Uncle?” Ben called with a whisper. He wondered if he was ready for this conversation, but he figured that maybe he never would.

“Hello, Ben.” said Luke Skywalker.

His ghost looked different now, his hair was longer and seemed whiter, his face looked older, but his eyes looked the same as he remembered. Once again, words failed him. Resentment still inhabited his heart but it was devoid of anger, and that made him realize how much he had changed after these past few months.

“May we talk this time?” Ben asked, finding it hard to hold Luke’s gaze.

“Certainly.” his uncle sat beside him.

“There’s so much to say, and yet the words would sound like an insult coming out of my mouth.” Ben continued, chewing on his cheeks.

“Why don’t we start by you asking me what you wanted to know...” Luke offered.

Ben paused, gathering strength. What he was about to ask would hurt, already knowing the answer:

“Can mother appear in front of me like you can?”

“I’m afraid not, Ben…” Luke told him, sadly. “It takes training and she was not a Jedi, despite her great strength in the Force.”

Ben nodded, and took a deep breath. He knew it, but he had to be sure. Uselessly, he had hoped to talk to her, to them.

“But she can hear you. You are forever bonded, even in death. She is a part of the Force now and she will listen.”

“Rey told me...” he gulped, trying to get the words out of his mouth. “Rey told me that you… you weren’t going to… that night…”

“It’s true, I wasn’t… but it doesn’t matter, Ben. I hurt you, betrayed you. I meant it when I said I was sorry. I failed you as a master and as your uncle. I never meant for any of that. Will you forgive me, Ben?”

Ben quickly rubbed on his eyes, trying to control the tears that seemed to surface so easily now: “It’s hard for me…” he muttered.

“I know... It was all my fault. It was my mistake that tipped you over the edge. How I wish I could take it back...”

Ben was surprised at his effortless honesty.

“No, I became a monster, uncle. The choice was mine.” stated Ben, painfully.

“We both did unforgivable things, Ben. But you will see that, in the end, forgiveness is liberating. If you try.” Luke said with a sad smile.

Ben managed to look at his old uncle, there was still so much to say, from both of them. But he decided instead to let go of everything that stood between them, all the guilt, the resentment, the hurt: “Yes, uncle, I forgive you… but will you forgive me?”

“Ben, I already have.” Luke said with his sharp blue eyes sparkling.

Ben let out his breath. They both smiled at each other for the first time in so many years. His uncle was right, forgiveness was liberating. He felt like his old self again, when Luke and him would spend the evenings talking exactly like this at his temple. But, suddenly, Ben remembered something.

“Uncle?” he paused for a moment to elaborate. “A few months ago, when I was escaping the First Order, when my ship crashed… I thought I’d felt a presence… was it you?”

Luke smiled at his nephew and confirmed: “Yes, Ben, it was me.”

“That’s how she found me. You called her.”

“I owed you as much.”

“Thank you for that, for saving my life, I don’t deserve it, but…”

“No one deserves to die, Ben, you should know that by now.” observed Luke. “The road to redemption is a long one, but you’ve already done so much. Rey will help you, she is the only one who understands... Make the effort to help others, to end this war.”

“I will.” promised Ben, feeling his uncle’s presence fading. “Thank you, uncle…”

“We will see each other again. The Force will be with you. Always.”

And then he was gone, leaving Ben’s heart a thousand times lighter.

***

“I’m so happy for you! You have no idea!” said Rey to Finn, her heart warming with joy.

“We were trying to hide it, afraid we’d break Rose’s heart. And for a moment, I thought we had.” Finn told her.

“How did she take it?” Rey asked.

“She was upset, of course. But after some time, she came over to talk to me, saying she appreciated my honesty and that we were still friends. I hope with all my heart that it’s true.”

Rey smiled, that sort of thing could be so complicated. But nothing made her happier than to see Poe and Finn together at last.

“I’m beyond happy! Some good news for a change.” she held him tight.

He hugged her back, relief for not having to hide it anymore. However, a flicker of regret registered in his face:

“I’m sorry I never told you about it… You were always so honest to me about everything. It felt like betrayal to hide that from you. But then again it took me a while to even admit it to myself.”

“It’s alright, Finn. I understand.”

“All I want is for the war to be over. And then we can help all those people. Me and Poe, together.”

“I want that too…” she trailed off, but suddenly lifted her head in awareness. Subsequently, Ben entered the room.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Ben said, turning back immediately to leave. He looked better, with a little color back on his face.

“Hey, Solo” called Finn, making Ben halt. “You don’t have to leave...”

“I was hoping to talk to you, Finn.” Ben said to them.

Surprised, Finn hesitated: “Alright, I’m listening…”

Propping his posture and taking a breath, Ben stated:

“Rey tells me that you want to help the stormtroopers recover their identities.”

“Yeah…” Finn’s brows pulled in, and he wondered where he was getting at.

“I know how to get this information.” Ben asserted. “We can devise a plan to extract it.”

Finn was staring at him with suspicion. Not long ago, that same man would have him killed just for uttering that wish. But after a moment of deliberation, Finn said:

“What are we talking about? Where is it? What kind of security?” Finn finally said.

***

“I’m so proud of you for wanting to help Finn.” said Rey, cradling his head against her chest and running her fingers through his hair while they were lying in their bed. She did that a lot.

“It means a lot to me that you are. But I’m afraid that it’s still not enough, maybe it never will be.” He was feeling better ever since he talked to his uncle, but he still felt like he had taken a beating. “I’m doing this for my family’s memory. I want to be the person they raised me to be.”

He gazed up at her with those deep eyes and she saw the pain that still raged within, but this time there was something more. Hope, tiny, but there, breaking through. Moving his body up, he locked eyes with her. His beautiful face made even more masculine with the beard he had started to grow. She brushed her hand through his hair that was almost shoulder length now. He looked so different, but a good kind of different, the best kind, actually.

He kissed her blessed lips softly. His body grazed against hers and she felt like a healing balm, as if he were made to fit into her curves.

“I need to feel you...” he exhaled, sending shivers down her spine.

Holding him tight, she realized how much she had missed him those last days. He had been so depressed that sex had been the last thing on their minds. Now, she wanted to give him what he needed, she wanted to give him her love.

His kiss became more urgent and desperate, his passion fuelled by his emotions.

He was already hard and his erection jabbed at her thigh, igniting her body on fire. Breaking the kiss, he moved to her neck, biting the flesh there, hungrily. Panting, he trailed wet kisses down her cleavage. Removing her nightshirt, he took one nipple in his mouth and suckled hard, making a sharp arousal surge within her.

Grunting, Ben mouthed at her flesh with fervour, over and over again. He was completely lost in it, needing her closeness, like a drowning person needs air. And Rey was right there with him.

While grabbing her ass, he laved his tongue over her flat stomach, tracing a trail around her navel.

“I want to taste you...” he breathed against her skin and looked up at her with fire in his eyes.

She moaned with anticipation and nodded her head fiercely; she loved it when he kissed her down there. He hooked his fingers on her underwear and removed it hastily. He wasted no time and buried his face on her sex, devouring her. It was hard for her to keep quiet at that sensation, a pleasure that was heightened by her love for him.

He was alternating his lips and his tongue to stimulate her nub, making her convulse. Grabbing her hips, he held her down firmly while he feasted on her. She let the searing sensations run up her spine, spreading it throughout her entire body in a lustful bliss. Still holding her with one hand, he pressed one finger inside her, feeling her sweet warm wetness, rubbing her at her favourite spot. She tugged at his dark mane a little too hard, but that only served to instigate his hunger. He introduced a second digit and fucked her like that, while his lips and tongue worked on her clit.

The fire consumed her and he felt under his grip the shaking of her body as her walls spasmed around his finger. She tried to stifle her moans as best she could as her orgasm ravaged her. He kept at it until she was finished, when he sweetly licked up her cunt and trailed kissed all the way back up.

She grabbed his face and kissed him, tasting herself in his lips. He was so incredibly hard from what he had done to her, desperate with both lust and ache.

 _“I want to be inside you...”_ she heard his voice echo through the bond.

“ _Yes… I want to feel you inside me..._ ” she said, still wanting him even soon after finishing.

He got up to remove his pants and stroke himself a few times, gazing at her body. He lay on top of her again and entered her easily. The familiar heat of her enveloped him so perfectly, and he made no effort to stifle his groan. He started hard and fast, locking eyes with her, letting himself get lost in his wild rhythm.

“I love you... I love you, Rey… you are my heart, my soul...” he muttered desperately, as he rammed his hips into her.

“I love you, Ben...” she whimpered, her love for him merging into the Force that surrounded them. And he needed to feel it, to heal through it.

Burying his face in her neck, he picked up his pace and sucked her there while he thrusted harder and faster. Her hands tugged fiercely at his hair as her body took him. Their sweat blended where their bodies were connected, making their contact slick.

He was grunting wildly at each movement and one of his hands grabbed her thigh, urging her legs to open even more, he needed more, _more, more..._ After a few more powerful thrusts, his hips stilled. He roared in the crook of her neck, coming hard inside her. He lost his mind as wave after wave of pleasure hit him, washing away the pain.

The way his body crashed into hers, his words whispered to her from his quivering mouth, and his fiery passion elevated her senses along with his. Her second orgasm surprised her and she came with him, holding him tight as they both climaxed.

After they came back, he was shaking on top of her, still trying to catch his breath. The physical and emotional exhaustion lulled his mind back to reality and he hummed when she ran her hands through his hair softly. All that pain had been numbed by her love, all he could feel was her, everywhere. She was all he would ever want, forever.

“You’re not alone...” she whispered.

“Neither are you...” he replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, bearded Ben or shaved Ben?


	18. Another Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Stormpilot is not cannon 'cause Disney is still too homophobic to put gay representation on a SW movie. So I wrote it!  
> We're checking in with the Knights. I'm not very good at writing battle scenes, so please forgive me.  
> Also, there's fluff. And smut.

“Hey, Rose...” Rey called her, as soon as she managed to find her alone.

“Hey! How’s my light staff?” she quipped, her easy smile lighting up her face.

“It’s good… it’s been working great…” Rey reciprocated but her smile faded. “Hum, Rose, I have to ask… Are you alright?

Rose’s permanently bubbly face disappeared, guessing what Rey was talking about.

“You know about that?” Rose murmured.

“Finn told me that you were fine, but I just wanted to make sure…”

“Oh, what the stars… of course I was upset! I had a huge crush on Finn! Have you seen him?” she blurted out. “But, that’s what it was. A crush. And I had no choice but to get over it. I could never compete with what Poe and Finn have. The two of them are so perfect for each other. Besides, I cherish our friendship more than anything...”

Rey examined Rose’s face in search of lies or even wishful thinking, but found none.

“I’m relieved to hear that, Rose. I don’t want any of my friends to be unhappy.”

Rose’s smile returned to her face, but had a hint of nostalgia. Sighing, Rose reached for the medallion that she always had around her neck and seemed far away when she spoke again:

“I had a sister once… Did I ever tell you about her?”

“No…” Rey guessed with a pang of hurt why Rose used past tense to talk about her sister. “What was her name?”

“Paige. She was so brave. We only had each other growing up. You remind me of her… She would be the one to ask me about these things, just like you did.” said Rose, her eyes watering.

“Oh, Rose…” Rey choked. “If I ever had a sister, I would want her to be like you!”

The two women hugged each other, crying and laughing all at once.

***

The fleet of X-Wings appeared in the horizon, making the alarms at the First Order’s ground station go off. Poe had Luke’s X-Wing, and proudly lead the rebel fleet to the attack.

The distraction they planned to create should be enough for Finn and Rose to upload the information on R2. Inside the building, the droid beeped, telling them to make a right turn at a crossroads. The First Order’s station was a maze and they were relying solely on Ben’s instruction to find the way.

***

As soon as Ben and Rey’s ship came out of lightspeed, Ben’s face dropped.

“They’re here.” he whispered.

“The Knights?”

“Yes… Rey, we have to call this off. If the Knights find Finn or Rose…”

Pondering for a second what to do, she then reached for the comm: “Finn, the Knights are here! Do you want to abort the mission?”

“Are you kidding me?” sputtered Finn. “Rey, we need to do this. Can you buy us time?”

She looked at Ben who had a worried expression on his face but nodded.

“Finn, carry on, we’ll draw them away from you.” Rey said over the comm. “Please, be careful!”

“We will!” Rose’s voice answered. “Rose and Finn out.”

Ben grinned at the prospect of fighting alongside her and moved to kiss her. He didn’t, however, as they both sensed danger. Quickly, they ducked to the ground when a shot was fired against the ship. They rushed to get out as quickly as possible, crouching to try and avoid the fire and debris falling on their heads. Once they made it outside, they threw themselves on the ground, Ben covering Rey with his body, as the ship exploded.

“You alright?” Ben coughed.

“Yes… you?” Rey replied, holding his face and he nodded.

A flurry of shots were fired against them by a battalion of stormtroopers. Drawing their lightsabers. they reflected most of them, advancing towards the station. Ben froze a few of the troopers while Rey hurried to knock the rest of them out.

Once inside, they headed for the command room, where they hoped to find the Knights.

However, behind them, a sudden change in the Force announced their presence. At a distance, Rey could only make out their shapes, six masked dark figures holding strange weapons. She could feel the Darkness emanating from them in a violent torrent. They stopped a few meters away from Ben and Rey, in an ominous standoff.

“We meet at last, Jedi.” greeted the Knight in the middle. She witnessed as two mechanical hands removed his helmet, and saw the face of Caster Ren. “I wondered who was it that had turned Kylo Ren’s mind. Now I see it. Your Light is really impressive.”

The others Knights mimicked their leader and also revealed their faces. Rey felt the thrill of battle stir within her and reached out for Ben.

“ _I love you._ ” she told him thought the bond.

“ _I love you._ ” his voice echoed back into her mind.

“Caster, surrender now and we will spare your lives.” Ben’s voice thundered.

“Fighting for the Rebellion now, I see!” sneered Jorya. She had been looking forward to this ever since they had let him escape.

“Surrender now, Knights. This is your last chance.” Rey spoke.

The six of them drew their weapons. Standing side by side, Rey and Ben waited for their move.

Malik and Sadako charged at Rey. Malik’s flail lunged at her and she had to swerve away from its path. The weapon landed on the ground with a heavy thud. Sadako’s swords drew horizontal circles in the air as she attacked Rey with remarkable speed, but she parried them with equal dexterity. Ailla, however, reached into the Force, trying to enter Rey’s mind. Instinctively, her well-trained mental barriers held Ailla’s attempt, but not before she saw something. The Knight halted in surprise.

Caster charged at Ben, who fended off two of his blows. Jorya and Bama joined the fight as Caster attacked again and again, forcing Ben to move.

As Sadako missed her neck by a hair, Rey immediately pushed her back and she landed ungracefully on the ground. Anticipating the move by a split second, Rey managed to avoid Malik’s flail once more.

She parried Sadako again and yelled:

“I don’t want to kill you, Knight!”

“Oh, no, this is the best way to die, Jedi.” Sadako spoke with a smirk, eyes filled with battle rage.

As they made their way through the station, doors closed behind them, distancing her further from Ben. Of course they would try and do that and she scolded herself for not realizing it sooner. She felt a twinge of fear but held onto her resolution. Soon enough, an idea came to her and she decided to turn their own game against them.

She positioned herself at the threshold and moved at the last second before the door closed, isolating Sadako, and used the Force to jam the controls. She could hear the Knight growling in frustration, trying to override them.

However, Rey had no time to celebrate as another one of Malik’s blows came her way.

“We don’t have to fight! If you would just listen.” she tried.

“Oh, I’ll listen. Please, go ahead.” he sneered, swinging his flail dangerously close to her head. She ducked just in time as he completed the movement making the iron ball land on the ground again. With unexpected speed, Malik wrenched the flail from the floor and swung back towards her.

“There’s another way!” she shouted, but Malik wasn’t listening as bloodlust came over him at the chance of killing the Jedi. He gave a series of swings at Rey and she did her best to avoid them, but the last one hit her right on the ribs. She felt her bones breaking and blinding pain took over her senses. Stunned, she was unable to avert the swing of his elbow that hit her stomach hard. Eyes watering, she stumbled away from him as she tried to regain focus.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I can’t hear you…” he mocked.

She was trapped, and he was closing in, ready for the kill. But just as he stepped towards her, she reached into the Force but this time, she summoned the Darkness. Her focus came back to her and a flurry of power boosted her movement. She parried his weapon steadily and, with a snarl, she lashed out against him, cutting the heavy iron ball from his flail.

Malik was shocked to see his weapon break but still tried to hit her with the hilt. Swiftly, Rey slashed it in two and froze the Knight in place. With the Darkness empowering her, she rushed forward, ready to cut off his head.

But suddenly, she halted. The Light came back to her mind and she saw a defeated enemy in front of her.

“I will not kill you, Knight. Enough blood has been spilt. Tell the others that the Last Jedi spared your life.” she commanded him.

All he could do was to glare at her with impotent fury.

She reached into his mind and knocked him out, running away to find Ben.

***

The Darkside had filled every cell of his body. It had obeyed his every command. It had given him strength to fend off every blow only to land another even stronger and more violent in return.

The fearsome warrior that was Kylo Ren stood victorious in front of a kneeling Caster. Jorya lay unconscious on the floor, while Bama cradled her head, wincing with pain at the wound on his leg.

Ben’s arm was bleeding but he held his lightsaber firmly to Caster’s neck. All he had to do was swing his weapon and they would be closer to winning the war. Fury raged in his eyes as he motioned to behead him. But suddenly, he remembered Rey’s words and the Light touched his mind. After all he had done, he found that killing didn’t come as easy as it used to, even if this was an enemy and the war was still on.

The bond stirred and he sensed something had happened to Rey. He had to act quickly.

Bama Ren was the only witness as Ben made his choice. He approached Caster and, with one wave of his hand, Ben knocked him out and left to find Rey.

***

Rey dashed through the corridors towards Ben’s presence, but ended up outside where she found the others boarding the Falcon with haste. Chewie was shouting at Finn and Rose to hurry up, while the battle in the sky roared around them.

“Finn! Our ship got destroyed! We have to wait for Ben!” Rey shouted.

“I thought he was with you!” said Finn.

“We got separated!”

She was about to search the Force for Ben when she felt him approaching.

“ _Rey! What happened?_ ” she heard worried his voice speak in her head.

“ _Nothing, Ben. It was just a scratch. Let’s get out of here.”_ she answered as she saw him running towards the ship.

Smiling at him, she nodded and quickly boarded the Falcon, gesturing him to follow her.

But at the ship’s ramp, Ben spotted Chewie and halted. The wookie, however, roared at him to not just stand there and board the kriffing ship. Ben didn’t have time to think about it as they all got in and took off with haste.

“Woo! That was great!” Finn yelled, after they were safe.

Ben and Rey exchanged a quick smile.

“Great job, everyone!” Rose cheered.

Chewie roared.

“Did you get it?” Ben asked Finn, trying to ignore where he was.

“You bet! It was exactly where you said it would be! R2 has it.” Finn signalled to R2, who beeped confirming.

“Poe?” Finn called at the comm. “Retreat! We got it!”

“Copy that!” replied Poe. “All wings, pull off! Let’s go home!”

“Guys?” a weak voice called but was muffled by their enthusiastic conversation.

“What about the Knights, what happened to them?” Rose asked.

“We fought them together. But they are still alive.” Ben replied.

“I bet they cowered back to their ship…” Finn quipped.

“Guys…” Rey’s voice sounded fearful as they finally stopped and looked at her. Wide-eyed, she was cradling her own ribs in a strange posture and she staggered. Ben ran up to her and caught her fall, feeling then just how badly hurt she was.

“B-Ben…” she stammered. Up until then, the thrill of the fight had spared her of the pain, but no longer.

“Rey… no… my darling…” Ben mumbled in panic, carrying her to one of the ship’s bed. “Chewie, help me!” he begged the wookie.

Being the ones who knew the ship better, they immediately started to tend to Rey, while the others rushed to her, worried sick.

Ben lifted up her tunic where her arm had been while Chewie set up bacta patches. Horrified, he revealed a monstrous dark bruise on her ribs which were probably broken. Chewie roared telling Rey she was going to be alright as he pressed the patches against her wound. Ben could hear a terrifying wheezing sound coming from her lungs.

Disoriented by the pain, Rey tried to hold on to consciousness. She watched with dazed eyes as they frantically worked on her as she called upon the Force to give her serenity.

“She needs a tank! This isn’t going to be enough!” Ben shouted, terrified to realize that the patches wouldn’t heal that kind of wound. She needed help, and fast.

“I’ve already sent a message to the base. They’ll be ready for her!” yelled Rose from the cockpit.

“We’re almost there, Rey, hang on!” said Finn.

“Please, please…” Ben begged as he injected some painkiller on her, making her face immediately relax. He scolded himself for not having sensed it, for not using their bond as they should be doing.

“Oh, Ben, I’m sorry… I was careless…” she managed to say, choking and coughing.

“No, darling, don’t say that… It’s alright…” he assured her, kissing her in front of everybody. Tears were stinging Ben’s eyes as he held her tighter, praying to the Force to give them time.

When they finally reached the rebel base, Ben bursted out of the Falcon carrying Rey over to the team awaiting them. He placed her gently on the bed as the medics moved her to the med bay. She was looking at him with soft eyes as he ran with them at her side.

“ _I’m alright, Ben, don’t worry..._ ” she pushed through their bond.

Evidently, he couldn’t do much except watch while they worked on her. When she was sedated to be put on the tank, he was terrified to experience their connection become muted from her side. He kept telling himself that it was fine, she was going to survive, but he was anxious nonetheless.

***

Ben sat beside her all the while she was on the tank. He watched with sadness the machines working on her bruised body, making his gut twist with panic at the mere thought of losing her.

Ben had his head pressed against the tank, when he heard Chewie greet him with a growl, asking how she was.

“She will be alright. Thanks to you.” said Ben quietly.

The wookie growled saying that they both did it together, just like the old days, when they would fly the Falcon with Han. He observed that Ben still remembered where everything was on the ship, he hadn’t forgotten, he had done well.

“Thank you, Chewie. Thank you for helping her.” Ben hadn’t had time to process what it meant to him being back on the Falcon and he realized with a pang of hurt how long it had been.

Letting out a sad growl, the wookie told Ben that he was glad that they both were fine, Rey and Ben.

Ben’s lips curled into a shy smile, hoping that the wookie would reciprocate. Chewie stared Ben right in the eyes and huffed without saying anything.

They sat side by side for a while, like old friends, hearing the beeping sound of the machines keeping Rey alive.

How was it possible that someone like him could fall in love with someone like her, the wookie asked.

“I don’t know, Chewie. I guess my soul wasn’t completely ruined like I thought.”

Chewie told Ben that he wanted to believe that.

“I wish you would, Chewie. I do want your forgiveness. I regret my actions bitterly.” Ben said, failing once more to express with words the mess that was his mind and his heart.

The wookie just sighed and told Ben that some things couldn’t be amended once they were broken. He then got up to leave, growling something about Ben taking good care of her, even though she didn’t need it.

***

When the medics judged that Rey was healed, they took her out of the tank, waking her up. Relieved, Ben felt their bond reopen.

Once she was out of there and cozily tucked on a bed with new clothes, the medics let him back in and he rushed to her open arms. Neither one could hold back the tears.

“Let’s never do this again, shall we?” she joked, looking at him with wet eyes.

“Deal.” he laughed, brushing his fingers through her still damp hair. She grabbed him and pulled him to her lips.

They were interrupted by someone knocking on the door. They all had come to see her, making a joyful entrance at the med bay.

“Rey! You’re one tough woman!” Poe smiled to see her friend awake and well.

“Yeah, you took quite a blow. We were so worried.” Finn approached her, taking her hand.

“How are you feeling?” Rose asked.

“I’m fine! All better!” said Rey.

“You scared the kriff out of us, Rey!” Finn told her, relieved.

“Come on! We should celebrate!” suggested Poe. “Are you feeling well enough for that?”

“Oh, I guess we could do that!” said Rey.

“Alright, let’s go!” said Finn.

They all got up and started to leave. Rey was about to say something to Ben, but Poe beat her to it:

“You too, Solo, come on.”

Ben had retreated to the back of the room, holding his military posture.

“You don’t have to...” he said quietly, surprised by the invitation.

“Yeah, yeah, I know... Come on.” Poe insisted.

Ben scanned each of their faces for any trace of animosity but found none. Rey reached out her hand to him and he took it, hesitantly. Everyone else just turned around and started to walk towards the cafeteria.

They all ate and drank together, talking cheerfully. Ben was feeling a bit uncomfortable but never unwelcome. He had latched onto Rey, but when Rose called her from the other side of the room, he was left alone.

Rey, Chewie and Rose were engaged in an animated conversation when Rey observed Finn approaching a very awkward Ben, who was skulking in the corner. She grinned, wondering what that would be about.

“May I sit?” Finn asked.

Ben looked up at him in surprise. “Of course.” he replied, always unsure.

“What you did for Rey… it was a great thing... I’m so relieved to see she’s healed.” started Finn. “And that information about the stormtroopers should be enough.”

“I hope so.”

Finn paused, examining Ben with curiosity.

“So, tell me, Solo, what is it that you want?”

“Would you believe me if I said that I want to make things right?”

“Rey seems to believe it… as for me, if I hadn’t seen what you’ve done lately I wouldn’t.”

“I meant it, I am sorry for what I did to you. To all of you.”

Finn took a sip from his cup.

“I guess we’re both fellow defectors now, aren’t we?” he quipped.

Ben nodded, thinking about it. Unlike Finn, he had been forced to leave the First Order but he actively made the choice to come here and fight with them. It occurred to him how easily he had left his old life behind, never to think about it ever again. Only his future with Rey interested him.

“You really love her, don’t you?” Finn simply asked.

“Yes. I love her with all my might.”

Finn faced him then: “I love her too. And I trust her. If she can forgive you, then maybe we can also.”

Ben eyed Finn as he stepped away, walking towards Poe. He saw as the men laced their hands together and Poe rested his head on Finn’s shoulder. It made him glad to see that they had also found each other, like he had Rey. And with a pang of hurt in his heart, he remembered that he almost took that away from them.

***

“Oy! Put me down this instant, Ben Solo!” Rey protested as he tried to carry her.

“Are you sure you should be walking? I don’t want you to get hurt again.”

“It’s absurd that you think I might get hurt walking to our room…” she laughed, finding it adorable that he was like that.

Ben, however, didn’t find it funny. He scooped her up into his arms anyway, ignoring her protests.

“Ben! I’m fine!” she complained, lovingly punching him. But then just gave up and nuzzled herself on his chest. She started to hum a song, swinging her legs, while he carried her.

***

In the dim light of their bedroom, Ben held Rey tightly in his arms, his mind torturing him with speculations of what losing her would do to him. It was unthinkable. He was extra moody.

“Ben… stop…” she was perfectly fine and felt fine, but he was still worried. “I’m not made of glass, you know!”

“I’m sorry, Rey, it’s just… I thought I might lose you.” he grumbled.

“You won’t. Ever.” she told him confidently, holding his face to hers.

“The next time I see Malik, I will kill him…” he seethed.

“Ben!” reprimanded Rey.

“He almost took you away from me. He is a dead man.” he growled and his eyes flared with rage.

“Ben! We don’t kill people out of revenge. Besides, the wound wasn’t even fatal…”

“Yes, it was, Rey…” Ben protested, but his voice got shaky again. “When they sedated you, our bond disappeared for a while and it scared me senseless.”

“My darling, don’t think about that anymore.” she whispered to him while running her hands down his torso. “We will never be apart, the Force made sure of it…” when she said that, her hand was resting over his heart.

Ben reflected on her words, trying to hold onto that idea.

“Ben...” she purred and maneuvered herself on top of him. He recognized the way she sounded when she wanted him, but was still worried about her health.

“Rey, are you sure you’re alright?”

“I'll show you...” straddling him, she ran her hands under his tunic, caressing his abdomen. “I want to make love to you, Ben.”

“Darling… you should rest… we have time...” he breathed, feeling the irresistible beginnings of arousal take over his body.

She ignored him and took off her top. He was relieved to see that her bruise was gone. Giving in, he helped her remove his shirt and she peppered kisses on his chest, visiting each scar and beauty mark on his skin. Working her way down, she kissed his abs until the waist of his pants. She teasingly pulled it down a little almost exposing his cock and placed a lingering wet kiss there, making him shiver.

“Do you like this?” she asked.

“I love it… I love your mouth on me…”

She slid his pants down and his cock sprung out, already hard. Making eye contact with him, she traced a line with her tongue all the way up his length, making it throbb.

“Oh… Rey… ugh…” he babbled, unable to form complete sentences.

She took him on her hand and stroked him, wrenching a low groan from his throat. Slowly, her tongue swirled around his the sensitive tip, tasting his precome. Then using just her lips, she stimulated his tip again ever so slowly.

“Fuck…” he breathed. That was what she did to him: the most powerful man in the galaxy reduced to an incoherent mess. But he wouldn’t have it any other way.

Ben was still worried about her but got wrapped up in the moment, relishing in the feeling of her mouth on him. He caressed her soft hair while she pleasured him, loving the way she moaned against his skin.

Just the way he liked it, she took him as far as she could and started to suck on him, hollowing her cheeks and working on his cock with her tongue, while her hand stroked what didn’t fit in her mouth. He let out a whimper, agonizing with pleasure. She kept at it for a while, but slowly, not wanting him to come just yet.

While sucking his cock, one of her hand skimmed up and down his torso and then back to grab his ass. He took her hand and guided her to fondle his sack. A low purr came out of his throat as carnal pleasure coursed through him.

He had his eyes closed, riding on the abject ecstasy of what she was doing to him.

“ _Can you hold on a little bit longer, my love?_ ” he heard her say in his mind.

He smiled and nodded, he was going to try his best.

She stopped, making him look. Ridding herself of her pants, she was on top of him again, and she sensually brushed her nipples on his chest on her way up. He was helpless, his body floating in a bliss, and he feared he would peak as soon as he was inside her. Grabbing his cock, she aligned herself with his erection, dragging her wet folds up and down his length. She hooked the head of his cock on her entrance but didn’t move further.

He whimpered at that, needing to feel her around him. She smiled the most wicked smile as he grabbed her hips reflexively, moaning in sweet frustration.

“Please… more…” he begged.

A low hum came out of her throat as she slid down just a little, only to move back up, smoothing over his tip.

That was such sweet torture, such exquisite ache, he didn’t want her to stop, but wondered if he would be able to take it.

“Oh… please... Rey…” he begged again, and then she sat on him, taking him deeply inside of her, making them both cry. His face was contorted as if he was in pain, trying to maintain control, she was making it so wonderfully difficult.

“Come here…” she asked, after she recovered her senses.

He sat up and held her while she started to move. His hands roamed over her back, up until her lose hair. He caressed her as she bounced on his lap, always watching her. He was hypnotized. To him, there was nothing more beautiful in the entire galaxy.

She held his face and gazed into his eyes, pushing her love for him through their bond, letting him know she was healed. She was in ecstasy, feeling the warmth of his hard member deep in her core.

She whispered all sorts of things in his ear, about how incredible his huge cock felt inside her, how it drove her crazy with pleasure, how it filled her so perfectly. About how she loved to bounce on it, how it reached inside her on that special spot. About how she loved his hands on her, how she loved to kiss his lips. About how she loved every inch of his body and his soul. And he thought that she probably could make him come only using words.

“Rey...” Ben let out in a strained voice.

One last movement and she felt his body tensing underneath hers. His throaty moans announced his orgasm, and she could feel the pulsing of his cock inside her, filling her with his spend. She was watching him come with fascination and the wave of pleasure that took him surged within her too. She vocalized as her walls spasmed around his cock, milking it to the last drop of come he shot inside her.

Breathing hard, their senses came back into function slowly and they realized they were holding each other very tight. Ben’s fingers were dug into the flesh of her hips and Rey’s nails had trailed four red lines across his back.

“See? I told you.” Rey giggled, making his face mimic hers into a smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote Ben not a jealous guy on purpose, it's such a huge turn off for me. But he is still a drama queen.


	19. Chandrila

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another step towards redemption.  
> Also, shameless smut featuring a different kind of softboi.

“I think I want to go to Chandrila.” said Ben one day when they were performing maintenance on the ship. “Will you go with me?”

Rey raised her gaze to him. She knew what it meant, and she wondered what it would do to him.

“Of course, Ben.” she said. “Is it far?”

“No, we would be back in a couple of days.”

They left the next day, reassuring everyone that they would be back shortly.

When they reached the system, Chandrila appeared in front of them, green and blue. Rey immediately liked it, but she was worried about him. She held his hand, while he kept it together as best he could.

Ben flew the ship away from the main city into a more secluded area, until there was nothing but forest. He gulped as they spotted a house in the distance.

When they landed, Rey saw a beautiful circular house with a pond and a garden in the center. The house had been clearly abandoned but still looked lovely. The vegetation had taken over most of it, but she could make out the shapes of windows and the front door. This was the Solo household.

She eyed him once more, worried. Ben was trying to keep calm, but he had abandoned his strategy of burying his feelings, willingly or not. His regret and guilt were taking over his mind again, making it hard to breathe.

“This was my mother’s garden.” he managed to say.

“It’s beautiful...” Rey gave him a soft smile.

“Let’s go inside.”

Ben opened the door to his old home and was hit by a rush of memories. They came from everything: sights, smells, sounds. The furniture was covered by a layer of dust, but everything seemed pretty much like he remembered. He wondered when it was that they last left this house. Was it when Ben left the temple? Or was it after? Gathering strength, he said:

“Come on, I’d like to show you my room.”

They walked towards the sleeping quarters and he opened one of the doors, revealing a boy’s room, filled with toys and posters of ships.

“It’s a lovely room, Ben.” complimented Rey.

He had this strange expression on his face, pain mixed with nostalgia. He wasn’t sure what he was going to get by coming here, but he thought he had to see it, he had to face it. And it hurt.

Next, they went across the corridor to another door.

“This was... my parents’ room.” he told her with his voice breaking.

“I’ll leave you to it...” offered Rey and he accepted.

She left him there staring at the door. He remembered when he used to come here as a child to sleep with his parents whenever he got night terrors.

He opened the door and everything was as he remembered, as if time had stopped at that place. Closing his eyes, he reached into the Force.

“Mother... are you here?” he prayed.

Like Luke had told him, there was no answer. But he tried again, anyway.

“Mother? Father?”

He could feel their presence in the Force but the silence was deafening. His regret was clawing at his heart, but he kept going.

“I never stopped loving you… I miss you…” he sighed and his voice broke. “How does one ask forgiveness for something like this?”

***

That night they lit a fire outside the house. They had cooked a simple dinner, and were finishing the meal. Ben hadn’t spoken much, and Rey could see his eyes were reddened.

“Uncle Luke suggested my name, did I ever tell you that?” he spoke suddenly.

“No...” Rey smiled lightly.

“He said it had been the name of his first master. I loved it when he would visit us. I used to beg him to teach me his ‘Jedi tricks’ as I used to call them. He would laugh and say ‘All in good time, Ben’.”

Rey propped her head on her hands to listen.

“But I’ve always know there was something wrong with me. This Darkness, ever growing. My mother and my uncle sensed it, of course. So they decided that I was to train with him, under his teachings they thought I would be safe. My father didn’t like it, he said that I should be with them, at home, I was too young. And I wanted to go, I really did. I wanted to become a Jedi more than anything. Or at least that’s what I thought at the time. So I went... and at first it was good. Uncle Luke and I got along great, he was proud of me and I admired him. My parents visited often. And, finally, the Darkness seemed to be gone, and I enjoyed the training and the study.

But it didn’t last. The Dark did nothing but fester in me, spreading and taking over my mind. My mother and Luke were so afraid of it, so how could I tell them about it? I didn’t want them to fear  _ me _ . So I tried to ignore it, fight it, but nothing worked. That caused a strain between me and my uncle. And everything started falling apart. Until that night...”

His dark eyes held so much sorrow as he stared absentmindedly at the fire. Taking a deep slow breath, he continued:

“I was sure he had come to kill me. We had had a terrible fight that day and he saw it: the Darkness deep and permanently latched onto my soul. So when I saw him there, I let it all out. I can still see their faces, the students that I killed. The only ones left were those who now call themselves the Knights of Ren. They had joined me in the slaughter. We ran away, until Snoke found us. Under his guidance I finished my training and became master of the Knights of Ren. I became more powerful than any of them… and you know the rest...”

Rey moved even closer beside him and lifted his gaze up, brushing a dark tendril of hair out of the way.

“Ben, look inside yourself. Tell me what you see.”

“I see regret, sorrow, pain...”

“What else?” she insisted.

He hesitated before answering her: “Love...”

“Yes, that is why you are here, that is why you sought redemption. For them, for the love you have for your family.”

“For the love I have for you as well...” he added, touching her face.

She would never tire of hearing it. She blinked with wet eyes and smiled at him.

“I see it every time you look at me...” she said, placing a kiss on his lips. “Your family would be proud of you right now, Ben.”

“All it took was to lose all of them.” his deep voice shook, bitter with sarcasm.

“Ben…” she almost scolded him for that but she knew better. Instead, she put her arms around his neck.

All his life he had to hold back the tears, but tonight, no amount of self control would be able to contain them. He broke down again, holding onto her as he cried painfully.

***

Rey could only sleep well in Ben’s arms, but that night she couldn’t. There was too much on her mind after everything that happened those last months. She suspected also that Ben was only asleep out of pure emotional exhaustion.

She decided to take a walk around the house at night. The weather was nice and warm and that place had a interesting feel to her: seeing his home, hearing about him as a child made her think. In contrast to what she had imagined, he had had a happy early life. So how come the Dark side took over him so fast and so fully? She always thought that the Darkness crept over wounded souls that had experienced only suffering... like herself. And yet she belonged to the Light.

Suddenly, she felt him waking up. Another bad dream perhaps. She waited for him outside and he soon joined her there.

“Are you feeling better?” she asked, circling his waist.

“I am now...” he said, holding her and kissing her forehead. “Do you want to stay here longer? It is a lovely night, but...” he sounded tired, but smiled.

“No, let’s go back inside.” she smiled back.

***

Ben lay on his back on their cot and Rey on top of him, relaxing. The planet’s moon was shining over them, lighting up their bodies with a beautiful blue light. Rey looked at his handsome face under the moonlight and her heart swelled with her love for him.

“You are my home...” he whispered, caressing her back.

“And you are mine...” she breathed.

She kissed him then, a sweet passionate kiss, making their bodies react. He opened his mouth and let her tongue invade it, while he grabbed her hips and pressed her against his crotch. She broke the kiss to rid herself of her shirt and moved to remove his, revealing his alabaster skin. It was so beautiful under the moonlight and she took her time appreciating him, his strong muscles, his scars, his beautiful face. She splayed her palms on his chest, caressing him all the way down to his abdomen. He sighed in appreciation, he loved her hands on him.

She leaned over and began to kiss him on the neck, softly. Sitting back up, she let his hands trail from her thighs to her tits. He kneaded her breasts in his palms, looking at her hungrily. She took one of his hands and guided his thumb to her mouth. He brushed his digit across her lips until her tongue darted out, searching for his finger. He then pressed it into her mouth and she sucked it hard, using her tongue as well, moaning. That filled his cock even more with arousal and he groaned, pumping his finger in and out of her mouth.

She got up to remove her underwear while he watched from the bed, stroking himself. He also wriggled out of his sleep pants and she gazed at his naked body under the blue moonlight and bit her lips. His spectacular body would always arouse her in ways she could never describe. Any shyness that remained in them had long faded away, erased by this unquenchable passion they shared.

“How do you want me?” she offered.

He reached his hand out to her and, once she took it, he laid her down and across the cot. Kneeling in front of her, he opened her legs and pulled her hips to the edge of the bed. She slid closer to him, bracing her hands on the wall.

He had a different look in his eyes; he was focused, serious, and hungry. His large hands smoothed her skin, from her breasts all the way down her legs. Taking one last good look at her beautiful body lit under the moonlight, he dipped his head to lick her swollen mound.

_ “So sweet… so good…” _ he told her through the bond. “ _ I could do this for days… you taste so sweet...” _

She never could keep her moans down at the way he did that, and this time was no different. His talented tongue worked on her folds, while his nose brushed her clit.

“Ben… Ben… oh… Ben…” she chanted his name over and over, as he took her body to a place of pure pleasure and love.

Moving his lips back to her clit, he pressed a finger inside and hooked it, finding the spot she loved. His free hand smoothed the skin of her thigh as he fucked her with his finger. But when she started to rock her hips, he knew it was time for a second digit.

_ “Come for me, Rey… come on my tongue…” _ his voice echoed inside her mind. And she did, shaking on the bed, shouting out her release.

When she was finished, he gently pulled his fingers out of her, and grabbed his cock, slicking his member with her juices. Her chest heaved and she looked so delectable after her orgasm that it made him burn for her even more.

He hissed as he breached her labia slowly, his eyes trickling down from her face to her tight pussy swallowing his cock. The light touched her skin making it gleam, as she lay spread out before him. With a fluid motion, he entered her and then pulled out, only to push back in again.

Using the wall to give her leverage, Rey pushed her body against his to match his movements, in slow waves. Her first orgasm had not been enough to quench her thirst for him. Unabashed, she arched her back and opened up even more for him, while her insides only tightened.

Ben grabbed her hips and gave one hard thrust, making her gasp. Grunting, he did it again, wrenching more sounds of pleasure from both of them. He could feel her walls clenching around him as she climbed the mountain again.

“ _ Come again for me, my darling. Come around my cock.” _

Fucking her hard, all he had to do was to rub her clit lightly and she came undone once more. She wriggled fiercely as she climaxed, shouting out his name once more. How he loved watching her come, it filled his mind and body with so much pleasure, that he had to use all his willpower not to finish right there with her.

When she came down from it, she gazed at him, wondering if he was going to come too.

Instead, he pulled out and took his cock in his hand. It was slick from her juices and throbbing as he jerked it off, frantically.

_ “ _ I want to come all over you…”

“Yes... yes...” she was out of breath from her second orgasm but the thought of it made a new wave of desire course though her.

He pumped faster. She was watching him when his moans became louder. He closed his eyes and his face transformed in pleasure. Erupting between her legs, his body shuddered as his hot come shot up her belly, all the way up to her tits. He kept at it until the last drop.

Splaying her hands, she spread his seed all over her body, licking her fingers and moaning at the most erotic thing they had done so far.

“You’re so good to me, my darling... I love you so much...” he breathed, feeling sated.

“I love you too...” she replied, basking in the bliss of the mess they had made.

***

Back at the house, the following morning, Ben was standing still in the living room. His eyes were unfocused as if he was trying to remember a vanishing thought.

“You once asked me about my childhood... Do you still want to know?” he said in a somber tone.

“Yes, Ben.”

He offered her his hand and she took it. They faced each other and held both hands and felt the familiar pull of the Force coming alive around them.

When they reopened their eyes, they were in the same room, but it wasn’t dusty. The sunlight entered through the windows at another angle making the house cosy and beautiful. They saw a tall man holding a baby in his arms. The dark haired boy giggled, jiggling his father’s dice in his chubby hand. Rey recognized the face of a young Han Solo as he placed baby Ben on his playing mat, sitting down with him. She looked at the Ben standing beside her and saw his eyes shift, stung by pain.

Suddenly, the child stopped playing. His eyes were lost in an unnatural way.

“Ben? Ben, what’s wrong?” Han worried.

Rey felt it then. The Darkness creeping in as an intentional gesture. It wrapped around the child, imprinting on his soul.

Just as quickly, it was gone and baby Ben resumed his play and giggles as his father sighed and smiled at him.

Ben took Rey’s hand and started walking towards his old room. The light shifted and it became nighttime. The door opened and out came little Ben, a child now, crying and shaking. They witnessed the boy open the door across the corridor and go into his parents’ room. They went in also and Rey recognized Leia as her younger self, waking up as her son jumped on their bed.

“Mommy…Daddy…” little Ben whimpered.

“Sweety, what’s wrong? Come here!” she offered him her open arms and he crawled to her.

Han woke up as well and joined them in their embrace.

“There, there… it’s alright, mommy and daddy are here…” Leia assured her son, holding him tight.

“Did you have a bad dream again, son?” Han asked.

Little Ben nodded, nuzzling his tiny face on Leia’s chest:

“It was the the bad skinny man again…” he cried.

“It was just a dream, it’s not real, you’re safe here…” Leia comforted little Ben but shot a worried look to Han.

Ben and Rey could see the boy’s dream. He was lost in a fog of darkness, wailing sounds around him. Terrified, little Ben was alone until a tall dark figure emerged from the shadows and violently lunged at the child, piercing his tiny heart with Darkness.

They left the room and headed back to the kitchen where Leia and Han were having a fight.

“I don’t like this.” stated Han.

“Han, please… try to understand… this is the only way…” Leia pleaded.

“He belongs here with us, we can help him.” insisted Han.

“No, we can’t. We don’t understand this, but Luke does!”

“Leia, he’s much too young! We can’t send him away!”

“Han… there’s too much darkness in him, I can feel it growing everyday…” Leia’s voice broke and tears started to come out. “I don’t know what else to do…”

“Oh, no, darling, please don’t cry...” Han said and moved to hold her. He never shed a tear but his heart was breaking just as much as hers.

Twelve-year-old Ben was hiding behind the furniture, listening to it all, terrified. Young Ben couldn’t see it but they could: shadows wounded around his being coming from deep within the Darkside. At the other end, they could feel Snoke’s somber presence.

Ben kneeled in front of the boy he once was and could see his desperate struggle, trying to keep the Darkness at bay, but he was no match for it. He remembered that day, but didn’t understand it till now.

The vision faded. When they got back, Ben was livid.

“Snoke…” he fumed.

Ben began to walk away, bursting out the door and into the forest. He started marching faster away from the house until he was running. He finally stopped at the bottom of a stone wall and splayed his hands on it, bracing himself. With all of his strength, he ignited his lightsaber and lashed violently at the boulders and tree trunks.

A splinter came out of one of the trunks and cut his hand but he kept going at it again and again, trying to let out the searing rage.

Rey caught up with him, but never said anything, letting whatever it was run its course.

“He did this… he did this to me…” he hissed as he stopped for a moment, but then resumed his lashing, letting out a scream that became a growl with every hit.

He knew Snoke had been on his mind, but had never known it had been from the very beginning.

He suddenly halted and his lightsaber fell from his hand, switching off. He stood there, eyes shut, his breath coming out of through his teeth. Hesitantly, Rey walked over to him and held his waist, leaning her head on his back.

“He got to you when you were just a baby…” she remarked sadly, her arms barely making it around his chest. 

Ben couldn’t think straight, he was beside himself. He wished now Snoke was alive just so he could kill him again, but slowly, so he could inflict on him all the pain Ben had to endure throughout his life.

***

Later, after his anger dissipated, Rey was helping Ben apply bacta patches to his wound. She pecked a soft kiss on each of his hands once she was finished.

“It doesn’t matter.” his low voice tainted with bitterness. “It would be too easy to blame it all on a decrepit dead creature. But the truth is: the choice was mine. I did those things. I killed my family. The Darkness has always been here...”

“Yes, Ben, but at least now you see things for what they really are. And so do I.” she paused to ponder. “I don’t think your Darkness was something bad in itself, it was Snoke who made it so. It makes so much sense now. As soon as he was dead, his influence started to fade, releasing your mind, allowing you to be yourself again.”

“I don’t know, Rey, the blood I shed still feels so heavy. It’s still my burden to carry.”

“Ben, look at you now. The Darkness is a part of you, but you’ve changed.” she insisted. “You thought you would be destroyed if you let the Light touch you. You thought you could never live if you were to face your crimes. And, although it’s been hard, here you are.”

“I’m tired, Rey.” sighed Ben, blinking slowly. “Tired of this war, of this conflict, of this suffering. I once believed that peace was absurd, nothing but a daydream of a naive fool. But now I see how wrong I was. Your new Jedi Order is the only thing that gives me hope for the future.”

“ _ Our _ new Jedi Order.” her lovely face lit up with her smile. But it faded as a thought came up to her.

“It makes me wonder. Children have no place at a Jedi Temple. To take students from their parents at such a young age is very harmful. At our temple, I’ll never allow that.”

“Maybe if I have had that...” his voice trailed off.

***

Back at the base, they met the others at their always faulty command room. The computers were malfunctioning again and there was a bit of a mayhem happening.

“It’s amazing that we get anything done at all…” said Poe, holding a bundle of wires.

“Try again!” said Rose from under the panel. Finn pushed the button and only one of the many screens lit up only to switch off again.

“Kriff!” cursed Finn.

“Need help?” Rey quipped as they stepped into the room.

“Oh, hey! Guys, I have important news!” greeted Finn, immediately abandoning his task.

The others joined him and he asked R2 to play them the holograms they had received.

“These are the systems that are willing to support us now.” said Poe, showing them a map. “All have publicly stated their support for the Rebellion.”

“Good. It was about time. It was long overdue.” said Ben.

“That’s it? Only three systems? Why so few?” observed Rey. As soon as she spoke, they felt a change in the air.

“What’s wrong?” Ben asked, sensing that something was being left unsaid.

“Never mind, Solo.” Poe dismissed him.

“Dameron, tell me. Please.” Ben insisted.

“Don’t worry about it, ok?” Poe emphasized, resuming his work on the machines.

“Poe…” called Rey, worried.

Poe sighed, turning back to them: “We have gained more support, but there are some systems that are outraged by your presence here, Solo.”

_ Of course they are, _ Ben thought. He had a strange expression on his face when he spoke again:

“Do you want me gone?” he asked, making eye contact with each one of them.

Rey was going to protest, but Ben stopped her, wishing to see what her friends would answer. Terrified at the possibility of having to choose between them, she did her best to control her emotions.

“I don’t!” Rose broke the silence. “You have proven yourself many times now. I see no reason for us to send you away.”

“Yeah, if they don’t want to believe that, let them.” Finn said.

Ben eyed Poe, who looked very serious.

“You are a part of the Rebellion now, just as much as we are. We would never let go of one of us because of what others may think.” said Poe finally, looking at him straight in the eye.

Rey sighed in relief, pleased with the outcome. She couldn’t fathom having to leave any of them behind.

Ben felt strange. Their words made him almost uncomfortable. He had always known how to respond at any animosity or violence that would come his way, but kindness… that was so much harder to deal with. He chewed on his cheeks and felt Rey’s hand take his. She had a smile for him, as always, but he couldn’t reciprocate, lost in thought, trying to decide if he liked that or not.

_ One of us. _

“Solo? May I ask something?” Rose said. 

“Yes.” Ben nodded.

“Do people know about your parents?”

“I suppose some people have pieced it together. But it’s not a known fact.” said Ben.

“Well, if they knew that you left the name of Kylo Ren behind and that you are Ben Solo again, maybe it would change their minds. That is only if you are willing to do it. I’m not saying that to pressure you. It’s really your decision. But if you are...”

***

At the announcement that Kylo Ren was actually Ben Solo, Leia and Han’s only son, they could almost hear the entire galaxy gasping in surprise.

Ben felt proud for the first time to go by his given name again. Also, his mind kept going back to what Poe, Finn and Rose had said to him: they didn’t want him gone. Unaccustomed to that kind of feeling, he found himself hesitant once again. Even Chewie had come around, or at least enough to occasionally talk to Ben about something that needed fixing on the Falcon.

The group didn’t resemble anything like the corrupt leadership of the New Republic or its old military leaders that Ben abhorred. He had to admit that Poe was an excellent leader, making firm decisions without ever putting himself before others. Finn had the same spirit and seemed to be so invested in what they were doing, more than any stormtrooper would ever be for the First Order. And Rose also had a lot to offer, believing with all her might in a better galaxy, given her hard early life, so different from his own.

Rey noticed Ben’s state of mind, of course, and started to nurture a hope that had seemed forlorn up until that point. That one day, she would have all of them around her, and the galaxy would be at peace, and she would finally have found the belonging that she sought ever since she started on this journey.

She loved their little routine, spending their days together, trying to make the best out of their scarce resources, having to rely on each other for everything. And Ben, he had joined the group for a different reason, but now seemed so used to it and to even enjoy it.

Nothing made her happier than going back to her dorm at night and sleeping in Ben’s arms. They had settled at that effortlessly and naturally, needing each other, wanting each other. And she knew then it would be so forever.

This was home.

***

Inside the ship, Ben was lying on his back underneath the control panel, trying to figure out how to fix the kriffing thing. The ship they managed to find for themselves was rotten and there wasn’t a day that went by that the stupid freighter wouldn't malfunction. He had to hurry if they were to make it in time for the attack, and in one piece.

They had visited yet another planet, this time looking for new battleships for the next attack on the last shipyard, or anything really, from potential allies. They both had attended the meeting but had only managed to get partial support from this system. That meant only a few more soldiers and ships, but it should be enough, it had to be.

Suddenly, he felt something tug on his trousers lightly.

“Hey, Solo…” he heard Rey’s voice from above him. “Why don’t you let me help you so we can get out of this place!” she joked.

Sliding back, he grinned: “I’d go much faster if a certain someone wouldn’t keep interrupting me!”

“Oh, right, but if it had been me we’d be flying already…” she joked again, shifting her weight into a smug posture, just to tease him.

“Why you…” Ben laughed and Force-pulled her downwards to where he was. She yelped and landed on top of him laughing hard.

“Hum… my love…” she purred, kissing his cheek. 

“Oh, now it’s  _ my love _ …” he growled biting her neck. “You’re done for!” 

They kissed passionately, groping each other, and whenever that happened...

She got up to her knees and he followed, taking the opportunity to grab her for another hungry kiss. He then flipped her around.

He pushed it through the bond all the things he wanted to do to her, in specific detail.

“Is this alright?” he asked, making sure that she consented to their role-play.

“ _ Yes, I want all of it!” _ she voiced through their bond.

“Put your hands on the wall.” he rasped against her neck. She obeyed and splayed her hands on the wall in front of her, then he pressed his already hard cock against her, making her hum in satisfaction. 

“Is this what you want?” he whispered in her ear.

“Oh, yes… please, Ben...”

He undid her pants and slid his hand into her underwear.

“Are you wet for me?”

She just moaned in response, grinding her hips on his fingers, searching for friction desperately. Indeed she was wet, soaked in fact.

Slowly, he lowered her pants, exposing her ass. Next, he unbuttoned his own trousers and took his cock on his hand. He was aching for her but he wanted to tease her first. He slid the head of his cock over her cunt, without entering her, painting himself in her juices. She moaned in frustration, the expectation only making her more aroused. 

“Ben… don’t… don’t tease…” she was out of breath.

“Is this what you want?” he repeated, smiling wickedly.

“Yes! Please…” she mewed.

“Say it…” he breathed on her neck.

“I want your cock inside me, I want you to fuck me hard, so hard I won’t be able to wal…” she cried as he shoved his thick cock into her, grunting on her neck.

“Like this?” he said pulling out and thrusting back in. She was rendered unable to respond as her nerves were on fire from the sensation.

He put his hands over hers, trapping her against the wall. He repeated the motion a few times, his body solid against hers.

“I love the way your pussy feels around my cock, so tight, so wet, so delicious.” he whispered. “Do you want it harder?”

She could only nod, aroused even more by his dirty words.

He pounded into her with abandon, biting her neck and lapping his tongue over the bruise. They were moaning loudly as pleasure elevated their senses, taking them to that place they went in their minds when they were connected like that.

She freed one hand to touch her clit. Only a few strokes and she came undone, her body pulsing with her orgasm. He felt her walls clenching around him. Vocalizing loudly, his hips stilled and his cock pumped his spent into her core.

As usual, the intensity of their climax was followed by an equally long recovery. They stayed there until he eventually pulled out and they collapsed on the floor together.

“I think we’re going to be late...” he joked.

“Indeed we are…” she laughed, holding him closer.

***

The howling storm stung their faces as they infiltrated the shipyard’s main facility. Rey was leading one team and Ben the other.

“ _ Look for the small columns not the big ones _ .” Rey heard his voice in his mind.

She instructed the rebels to place explosives where Ben had told her and began retreat.

Ben’s team managed to do the same and he was reminded of one of the stories his parents used to tell him. The one about when they destroyed the shield that was protecting the second Death Star at Endor. He smiled secretly guessing his father would have been amused at what he was doing but his mother probably would not.

They met at the perimeter fence and began to board the rebels back into the transport ship. Once they were all in, they took off and Rey and Ben headed for their ship, ready to detonate once they were ready to leave.

Suddenly, they sensed danger. Drawing their lightsabers, they took their stances back to back. The storm had intensified and it was almost impossible to see. Summoning the Force, they could sense the presence of ten life forms.

“ _ Those aren’t stormtroopers _ !” Rey said through the bond.

“ _ No. Bounty hunters. They are here for me _ .”

“ _ Oh, that’s too bad… _ ” she grinned.

The first shot was fired and many others followed, but they reflected them all. Once the bounty hunters realized it was futile to shoot, they charged at them with melee weapons. Ben and Rey fought together in perfect harmony, fending each blow.

Suddenly, they heard a whooshing sound and something latched onto Ben’s leg. Rey felt it through the bond when the electric rope stunned him but had no time to react as the same kind of device stung her arm.

The bounty hunters gathered around them as they fell to the ground, laughing and yelping in victory.

“ _ Ben, let’s end this.” _

“ _ Yes, my darling, let us.” _

They both summoned the Force and it created a power nova, pushing the hunters away and knocking them out. They got up, their nerves still recovering from the stun ropes, but managed to freeze the remaining creatures that were about to shoot them and ran over to board the ship.

Once they were in, Rey pushed the button and the explosions began. The shipyard was destroyed into a blazing explosion as their ship took off and jumped to lightspeed.

Rey sighed in relief. Getting up from the pilot’s seat, she took off her helmet and her outer layers, all soaked. Her hair was a mess and she removed the ties from her buns and shook of the water in them. That’s when she felt his gaze on her.

He was looking at her with fire in his eyes, ignited in him by their fight. The way she moved while fighting, the way she looked all wet and disheveled and her battle cries had made him incredibly hard.

He went to her and pushed her against the wall. His mouth crashed into hers in a rough kiss, and she managed to arch her back. He growled at that and pressed harder, so she could feel him.

“Can you feel how hard you make me?” he rasped, making her hum.

He broke the kiss and wrenched her tunic open. One hand grabbed her breast while the other held her tight. He was so strong and the power of his desire for her made her crazy.

“ _ I want come in your mouth… _ ” his voice was commanding, and it reverberated through her.

Getting on his vibe, she slammed him against the wall and kissed him roughly, her hands running up and down his torso, through his wet shirt. One hand stayed on his hair but the other went down to his groin where she found his already hard cock. 

Kneeling in front of him, she started to unbutton his pants and freed his cock. One kiss was placed on the base as she stroked him. Another kiss further up his length, just to tease him and he groaned in response. The final kiss was at the tip where the precome had already beaded and she finally laved her tongue over it. He let her have her way with him for a while until he ran his fingers through her wet hair and grabbed it. She was loving how commanding he had been lately and moaned with passion, as he led her lips to his cock. She took him on her mouth obediently, making him roll his eyes with carnal pleasure.

Wetness was pooling on her pants from what she was doing to him. Slowly, she drove his entire length down her throat, bobbing her head. She sucked on it with unabashed enjoyment, she loved pleasuring him like that.

Growling, he started to buck his hips, fucking her like that in the mouth, grinding his cock against her tongue.

Before long, he felt his climax approaching.

“ _ Let me taste you... _ ” she begged.

She heard him grunting in a crescendo until she felt his cock pumping his come deep inside her throat. She swallowed every drop.

“I love your mouth on me…” he exhaled. He looked down and saw her smiling, licking her reddened lips, his cock still in her hand. At one point, she stood back up and he immediately flipped her around and pushed her against the wall.

“Now it’s your turn.” he kneeled and undid her pants, lowering it slowly. She kicked off her boots so that he could remove her trousers completely. He struggled a little with the wet fabric making her almost growl, she was getting impatient.

Once she was bare, he took a good look at her glistening slit, he caressed the interior of her thigh gathering her juices up back into her cunt.

He hooked one of her legs to his shoulders and looked up at her. She was wriggling with expectation at the sight of his dark head between her legs and the thought of his talented tongue on her. Finally, he licked her clit and she instinctively grabbed onto his hair. He suckled at it over and over again, alternating tongue and lips.

He could do this forever, tasting her, pleasuring her, drinking her in. He was getting too good at this, she thought. The precision of his tongue and the softness of his lips on the most sensitive part of her, made her body soar in the most abject ecstasy.

“Ben… two fingers…” she managed to ask.

Smiling wickedly against her skin, he lifted his lips from her sex but pressed one finger up her channel first and then the other. He looked up at her while he fucked her only with his fingers, neglecting her clit momentarily. She let out a little whimper and gently grabbed his hair to put his lips back on her, but he resisted her.

“Patience, my love…” his low voice was full of mischief.

The teasing made her body shudder in anticipation. She began to keen, loving his little game.

When he judged that the sweet torture was enough, he put her lips back on her, without warning.

Letting out a cry, her body quaked as her orgasm hit her, and she lost her mind once more. He loved making her come like this, and he found himself wanting her again, even right after finishing.

When she came back, she looked down at him and saw as he sucked her juices from his fingers, moaning in satisfaction.

“Oh, Ben, I love you so much…”

“I know…” he smiled as he got up and kissed her, letting her taste herself in his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took some liberties regarding where Ben grew up.  
> I like the idea of all of them being friends at some point.  
> Next chapter, on with the plot!


	20. Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On with the plot. This story is coming to an end soon. One more chapter to go. I just love these characters so much as I'm sure many of you do and want to give them the happy ending they deserve.

“No.” Ben shook his head emphatically.

“Yes!” Rey stated, with a confident smile that didn’t belong.

“Hum, I hate to say it but I agree with Solo here…” admitted Finn, unbelieving at what he was saying.

Poe was still deciding which one was crazier.

“Rose! Help me out here!” Rey insisted to her friend.

“Rey, I guess this time I’m with the guys here. It’s too dangerous. A meeting with the Knights of Ren?” pondered Rose.

“Ben, we can do this.” Rey asserted, turning to him. “We just need practice and planning! This can work!”

“No.”

“Rey, after what happened last time, do you really think it’s safe?” Finn still felt bad that she had gotten hurt helping him.

“It would be within a sort of truce. A diplomatic meeting!” Rey argued to them all, but none seemed convinced. “If I can get them to join us that will weaken the First Order and maybe we can avoid all the killing that a battle would bring.”

“No.” Ben said it again, getting impossibly moody.

“Yes!”

“No.” Ben repeated, but knew he had lost. They all had, Rey was going to do it with or without them.

***

Caster Ren and his Knights stepped forward. Their weapons were drawn but they were unmasked. Rey recognized each of their faces.

“You’ve summoned us to this hearing and here we are.” Caster Ren squinted his cold blue eyes at her. “We’re listening, Jedi.”

“I want to end this war. I want to bring peace to the galaxy. True peace. And the Jedi Order will be rebuilt. It will embrace all, Light and Dark. If you surrender, you will be welcome at my temple.” Rey stated.

Some of them laughed in disdain, but others stood silent. Sadako was one of them and was squinting at Rey with curiosity. A Jedi reaching out to darksiders was unheard of, she guessed, and she shot Ailla a meaningful look. Ailla nodded and cocked an eyebrow, as if to say I told you so.

“So we would have to submit to your rule? We would have to lose the war so you would show us mercy?” Jorya Ren sneered.

“Exactly.” declared Rey, with a grin, challenging the Knight. “If it’s power that you want, there is no better way.”

“You are as foolish as you are strong, Jedi.” cautioned Bama Ren.

“I pray you will remember my offer in the future. As I’m sure Malik Ren does.” observed Rey plainly.

Malik glared at her; he hated her for her show of mercy.

“You have made a mistake coming here, Jedi. And you will pay with your life…” Caster Ren sneered.

All of the Knights gestured towards Rey at the same time, freezing her, just like they have done to Ben. Caster approached her with his weapon and had no intention to repeat the same mistake as he had before. Swiftly, his blade swung through Rey’s neck. Her body collapsed to her knees.

Caster’s smirk of satisfaction was replaced by utter shock and confusion when he realized the effect his blade had had on her, or lack thereof. Rey was kneeling before him, her head placed where it belonged, smiling a victorious smile.

All the Knights were beside themselves. Unable to comprehend what had just happened, Malik and Jorya lunged towards Rey, lashing at her, their weapons uselessly going through her. Sadako, Ailla and Bama froze in awe trying to figure out how she was able to be intangible like that.

“This is only a glimpse of what I can do. Together we are stronger. My offer still stands.” Rey’s voice thundered, empowered by the Force.

None of the Knights had anything else to say as Rey’s Force projection disappeared, leaving some of them in absolute ire, but others in awe.

When Rey came back, she fell to the ground along with Ben. They fainted from absolute exhaustion from Force projection. After careful training, they had managed to master it, like Luke Skywalker had once done, but unlike him, they had each other to share the effort, so they survived the experience.

Rose ran to Rey, holding her head as Poe and Finn carried her to the med bay. At the same time, Chewie caught Ben and laid him down gently beside Rey. They were unconscious for a few hours, monitored by the meds.

Rey woke up first and saw Rose’s bubbly face:

“Hey! How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright, a little bit tired, but alright…” Rey answered, rubbing her eyes as she sat up on the med bed.

“Did it work?” Rose asked.

“I think so! They tried to kill me!” Rey exclaimed, all too excited.

Rose smiled at that, she was used to it by now. Rey got up and went to Ben. She kissed his cheek and held his hand while he slept. Through their bond, Rey already knew he was alright.

Finn and Poe soon joined them, while she waited for Ben to wake up.

“I never thought I would say this but I’m glad that he was here…” Poe observed, and it occurred to him that they could have been friends - him and Ben - in a different life perhaps.

“What you did was incredible… There are no words…” Finn said, making Rey smile. 

Ben shifted in his bed and opened his eyes. Promptly, Rey brushed his hair:

“Good morning, my darling.”

He sat up, holding his head and Rey moved to kiss him. Poe looked suddenly interested in the ceiling while Finn cringed in discomfort. Rose, however, just smiled and sighed.

“You did it…” Ben said.

“We did it.” Rey corrected him. “Now they know. But we can’t count on that to end the war…”

“Do you think Luke is going to be mad at us for stealing his act?” Ben joked with a grin and Rey let out a discreet laugh. 

“Now is the best time to use the information about the stormtroopers.” said Finn.

“Then, we make the move to destroy the fleet.” added Poe.

“Yes, Hux will be there, along with the Knights.” Ben added.

“I have some much needed good news.” C-3P0 entered the room along with R2 “I have the honor to announce that the Rebellion has gained the support of Coruscant. We have been invited to the planet. They are ready to fight once more.”

“Coruscant? If they are willing to support us then the war could be over soon” said Poe.

***

Once they managed to set the course to Coruscant, Rey jumped into Ben’s lap kissing his nose. The new ship wasn’t much but they didn’t care. All they needed was a bed, and sometimes not even that. He smiled at her, and caressed her face.

“I think I’ve been in love with you since we touched hands through the Force-bond.” he sighed. “But my heart was too cold to feel it. Now it’s alive again.”

“Oh, Ben… so have I.” she said nuzzling her face in his hair.

His expression changed then. “Rey... how do you see yourself in the years to come? What do you want for the future?”

She elaborated for a moment before answering: “I want to become a Jedi and build the Temple into the Balance. I want to unify the Force and bring peace to the galaxy. And I want to be with my friends, I want to be there for them as they are for me for the rest of our lives. And... I want you by my side through it all, so I can share my life with you. Without you, it means nothing.” she said in that sweet voice of hers.

His heart swelled with emotion as he heard her words. “My darling, I want that too. I don’t want a life where you’re not there. I want to build the temple with you. I want to atone for my crimes, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, to love you until I become one with the Force...”

“Then after that, we’ll take our love into the Force and it will be a part of it, forever.”

“Darling...” he whispered, kissing her.

They held each other, basking in the love they shared, feeling complete.

“So… we still have a few hours…” she smiled  _ that _ smile.

He smiled back and held out his hand to her. They ran over to the back and Ben sat down on the cot and opened his arms inviting her into his embrace. She quickly went into it, standing in front of him. He was so tall that his head was at the height of her collarbone, sitting down. She brushed his hair and nuzzled his head on her chest, making him purr with satisfaction.

“I want a kiss…” he whispered looking up at her. Rey loved the special way he kissed her when he wanted her. Their lips touched lovingly but the caress became more urgent, making arousal take over their bodies.

“I want your hands all over me, Ben...” she cooed.

“I want to touch you everywhere...” he replied, smiling a wicked smile.

She backed off a little and started to unravel her arm bands, slowly, just to tease him. He reached for her but she swerved, giggling.

“Are you teasing me?” he asked smiling.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about...” she said with mischief in her eyes.

That made his cock twitch in his pants.

She finally took off her arm bands and proceeded to remove her tunic, slowly again making him even more desperate to touch her. He tried to catch her once more but she escaped again. 

“Patience, my love…” she shook her head.

He was loving it.

Under his lustful gaze, she stripped for him, removing her boots and then undoing her pants, one button at a time. Turning around, she bent over removing her pants and underwear, slowly, giving him a full view of her pussy. When she was finally naked in front of him, his eyes lingered there trying to take her all in, hypnotized. She loved it when he looked at her like that, like he wanted to fuck her senseless, which was quite accurate.

She then moved closer to him, and this time he caught her. His hungry hands were all over her body while he took one of her nipples in his mouth. He mouthed at her tits while his hands squeezed her ass.

He dipped his head and lapped his tongue on her flat stomach all the way up her breasts. Filling his hands with her tits, he gazed at her to see her face in surrender. His cock throbbed at the feeling of her nipples hardening under his touch. Working his way down, he brushed her nub lightly, and saw her mouth fall open and his name whispered from it. His nimble fingers parted her folds where they were wet and swollen from his ministrations. He hooked one finger inside, as deep as he could, to feel her warmth and softness.

After he removed his fingers from her, he was burning. He stood up, and she helped him take off his shirt and pants quickly. When he was as naked as her, she escaped him again lying on the bed on her stomach. She gave him a beautiful view of her lean body, as she pushed her ass up, teasing him again, giggling.

He couldn’t wait. He lay on top of her, pushing his erection against her ass.

“I’m going to fuck you now.” he rasped.

“Oh, Ben... yes...”

He entered her slowly, punishing her for all her teasing. But then, he started pounding into her hard. She cried, loving his weigh on top of her, his cock filling her up from behind, his hot breath on the nape of her neck. Moaning, she braced her arms at the sides of the mattress while he fucked her with abandon.

Her moans were driving him crazy, only enticing him further, but he wanted more. He slipped his hand underneath her and found her clit. Her moans got louder and she cried out his name over and over again.

“Does this feel good?” he asked with a strained voice. “Do you like my cock inside you?”

“Yes… oh, Ben, I love it.” she mewed in response. “Give me more…”

He buried his face on her neck and pounded into her harder and faster. He was making her moan so loud that they were happy they were in space.

“Harder.... Harder…” she chanted.

Her orgasm hit, blinding her consciousness with an explosion of light. She cried against the mattress and he soon followed her. Thrusting into her a few more times, his hip stilled as he came inside her, grunting loudly.

***

They woke up with the alarm buzzing, indicating that they were closing in on Coruscant. Begrudgingly, they got up and got dressed, getting ready for landing. Rey stretched her body and circled the bed to kiss Ben. He held out his hand to her and she took it, as always.

Suddenly, they were once again shocked by a vision. The same one they had had back in Ahch-To. The temple with the students and masters. However, this time Rey was alone walking towards the building, she looked sad, but resolute. The unbalance in the Force denounced it: they couldn’t feel Ben’s presence anywhere. He wasn’t there, that was sure.

When they woke up from it they were stunned. Rey started to cry.  _ It can’t be _ .  _ Where is he? _ She couldn’t imagine the temple without him.  _ What happened to him? It can’t be. It can’t be _ . To live without him was unthinkable and tears came down uncontrollably.

“No... no...” she choked on her words. “It won’t happen...”

Ben was scared. The only way he wasn’t going to be there was if he didn’t survive. He had so much to lose, he realized. He would gladly give his life for her, but that would mean to leave her, and that... But he knew if it was the will of the Force, it would happen. And he knew he had to pay.

“Rey, we have to be ready... if that happens... we have to be ready...” his voice trembling with controlled fear.

“No! It won’t happen! I won’t let it!” she tried to sound firm but her voice faltered, holding his face to hers.

“Rey, it’s not about  _ letting _ … if the Force...”

“Ben, if you die, I die too...” she shuddered at the sound of that word uttered out loud.

“No, Rey, you won’t, and you know it, you’re too strong for that. You will survive. Listen to me... you have to... you have to lead the new Jedi Order...” he pleaded her, gently holding her wrists.

“Yes and you will be there with me...” she replied pathetically, grabbing his shirt. 

“Rey, promise me you will be ready...”

“NO! You promise you will trust  _ me _ ! I won’t let that happen! And neither will you!” she shouted, rejecting the idea so hard it made her dizzy.

He wanted to tell her that he believed in her, he wanted to tell her that he was going to fight to stay alive. And he was, but he knew nothing was certain, the future was always changing, and if the Force willed it, not even a Jedi as powerful as her could challenge it. She turned around to leave the room, wiping her tears off her face.

“Come on, let’s go.”

***

They landed on Coruscant and were welcomed by many politicians and military leaders. Some were distrustful of Ben, while others rejected him completely. It had been a known fact for a while that Kylo Ren had changed allegiance and went by his old name, but most treated him with distant caution at best. Ben didn’t care, he couldn’t stop thinking about their vision and was silent for most of the boring meetings.

Poe was to be the new general, but to him it was bittersweet to take Leia’s rank, and he missed her even more now. Finn and Rose also gained new official titles but scoffed at that, thinking how useless it all was.

But it was Rey who everyone wanted to see. She did her best to pay attention, but was distracted and absent, and had no will to fake interest in all those social pleasantries. She hated that place. All those people made her sick. She decided then that she wanted nothing to do with politicians.

They didn’t see each other until nighttime, busy with all the day’s activities. When they met at their assigned luxurious room, they were feeling miserable. Ben had gotten there first and he waited for her in the dark, with only his gloomy thoughts to keep him company. Not long after, she opened the door and gazed at him with tired eyes. He got up and took a step forward, hesitant, and she did the same. Tears started to come down again and she broke down, sobbing. He couldn’t take it, to see her cry hurt his heart too much. His eyes also welled up with emotion as he closed the distance between them and held her. She grabbed his tunic, burying her face on his chest.

“I love you with all my being. I love you more than the extent of the Force. I love you in ways that could never be explained with words.” she whispered to him, and his breath caught as the truth in her words hit him.

He wanted to live, to be with her, to make love to her everyday and to share his life with her. But the vision had reminded him of his debt, the blood he had spilt was too much, his sins too great.

Rey didn’t care about the will of the Force. She was too stubborn. She refused to accept a life without him. She refused to accept that the Force would demand his life as payment for his crimes. There were other ways, the Force couldn’t be so cruel. And if it was, she wasn’t, and she would challenge it.

She looked up at him and pulled him down to kiss him, fiercely. He kissed her back with the same intensity. A kiss meant to silence the fears that haunted their hearts.

She broke the kiss and tugged at his tunic, starting to undo his belt. As tears came down her face, she removed his clothes and her own. After that, he pulled her to the fresher and turned on the shower. He held her tenderly from behind as the water came down on them, washing away the tears.

Ben’s hands caressed up and down her torso as Rey arched her back pressing her body against his. One hand held her hips to his and the other fondled her tits, gently. The shiver running through him seemed to have caught on her skin as his large hands made contact with her hardened tip.

She sighed at the feeling of his body against hers. It was a statement. They belonged to each other and nothing would ever change that. She knew who he was and knew what he had done and she loved all of him. She wasn’t going to let something else decide their fate for them, not even the Force.

She braced her hands on the wall as he sweetly caressed her and kissed his neck. That, the union of their bodies and mind, the physical act of love was so precious to them. It was unthinkable to ever imagine living without the other. And they needed it now.

Through the bond, they could feel what the other wanted, they didn’t have to speak or see. His hand slid downward between her legs, brushing her clit lightly. She was soaked already and it had nothing to do with the water from the shower. Following her wordless request, he slid one finger inside her and pleasured her like that, slowly and gently. Her moans blended with her sobs and she felt her pleasure rising, aching in her core.

She was rocking her hips on his hand and on his body, that fortress of hard muscles and soft skin. Rey felt safe in his arms as if they were her own world, a place where she could lose herself. And eventually she did, coming quietly on his fingers, her body being blessed by the painful ecstasy of her orgasm.

When she was finished, he removed his finger from inside her, slowly. She turned around to kiss him and it was his turn to brace his hands on the wall. Her hands clutched his strong arms and landed back on his chest. She caressed his skin, travelling down slowly.

Reaching for his erection, she took him in her hand and started slow steady strokes, up and down his shaft. Carefully, she worked on his cock, feeling every vein of his thick member, wanting to give him what he had given her.

He latched onto her lips and his tongue searched for hers. Their open mouths clashed in a beautiful melancholic kiss, making the sensations so intense, it was almost unbearable.

His strong body had completely surrendered to her touch as she pleasured him, her lover, her love, her soulmate. She could feel his unending desire for her, the immense pleasure that she was giving him, just like he gave it to her. She increased her speed and her other hand caressed his hair. She felt his cock throbbing and, with a whimper, he came, spilling his thick seed all over her hand.

They held each other there in the shower for a while, letting their bliss and the water wash away their anguish.

They never spoke as they got out of the fresher and to their bed. Her thin, loving arms were wrapped around his neck as he held her as tight as the position allowed. He was her home, she had already lost that once, she wasn’t going to let that happen again.

***

There was a distinct stench in the air, and Ben guessed it wasn’t from the horrid pollution that plagued the city-planet but rather from the two faced politicians and their hidden agendas, too good at flattering each other until they got what they wanted, turning their back on everything else. He had visited this planet before, evidently, with his mother in her many trips to further her career as a military leader. Leia had always flirted with the possibility of becoming a politician herself, like her biological mother, but never did. She was, after all, a person of action, much like Ben. He much rather be in battle leading an army than to be anywhere near the endless and fruitless debates.

His line of thought was broken as he sensed people approaching him.

“Ben Solo... Chandrila’s most infamous son. My name is Senator Niobe Takan and this is Governor Vonar Granta. We are your fellow countrymen.” said an old woman, who gestured to a man beside her. Ben recognized them as the current authorities from his home planet and shook their hands, surprised to be treated with cordiality.

“I knew your parents. You don’t remember me, but we met before when you were just a toddler.” the man said.

“May we speak?” asked the woman.

“Certainly.” Ben agreed, still guarded, but somehow those people didn’t seem so repugnant.

“When we heard of your change of allegiance all those months ago, we were skeptical. But after the astonishing revelation that you were in fact Leia and Han’s son, we decided to take action.” the woman had a firm tone when she spoke, probably from years of practice. But Ben decided to pay attention.

“Chandrila is willing to support the Rebellion and Ben Solo, our fellow countryman, son of General Organa and General Solo.” the man declared, making Ben hesitate. But he knew the Rebellion couldn’t afford to refuse any help.

“I am thankful. You have no idea what it means to us to have your support.” Ben stated.

“It was only because of what you’ve done for Rey, the Last Jedi. I must say that it surprised me to see the two of you fighting together.” said Senator Takan.

“And we have faith in the new Jedi Order that is to blossom from this war.” said Governor Granta.

“But I have to ask: are you sure about this? Most systems still don’t trust me. It could come at a cost to your reputation.” Ben said.

“Well, my friend, fortunately we don’t care about that.” Senator Takan grinned. “All we care about is stopping the First Order. The threat that they pose is too great. We can never let what happened to the Hosnian system repeat itself ever again.”

“Thank you. We really appreciate it.” Ben said, shaking their hands again.

“You look so much like Han, it’s remarkable!” the old man said, shaking Ben’s hand with enthusiasm.

Ben gulped, but found it not as hard as it used to be to hear the mention of his father. And pride bloomed in his chest to hear that he looked like Han.

***

Poe rushed through the crowd, followed closely by BB-8. He ignored as people called his name, looking for those he wanted to get to. He found Finn first and closed the distance between them, kissing him passionately, relieved. They held each other tight and Finn understood right away why Poe was so troubled.

The men continued advancing through the sea of people to their next target. They found poor Rose sulking in a corner, looking uncharacteristically downhearted. They snatched her with them and they all stomped through the place.

BB-8 beeped telling them not to forget the droids as they found Chewie. Passing by C-3P0 and R2, the growing group found Rey staring absentmindedly as random people were talking to her. As soon as she saw them, her expression changed into the first real smile she had given during her stay in that planet. She held Finn’s hand as Poe led them to the last person, while everyone else was left confused as to why they had abandoned the conversation.

Ben was at the porch, where Rey had left him briefly to go talk to those people. His head turned in recognition and Poe walked over to him and nodded. Rey came up from behind Poe and lunged at him to kiss him.

***

As the group passed in front of all the new shining ships they were given, heads turned to see the leadership of the Rebellion board the Millennium Falcon and get the kriff out of that place.

“Kriff those people! They think they can just show up and take over? After we’ve done all the work?” Poe ranted, plopping down at the passenger’s seat.

“I thought you’d never say it!” Finn exhaled.

“Oh, guys, that place was horrible…” Rose whined.

“We don’t need them, we can do this ourselves, as we have thus far.” Rey added.

“They wanted us there just so that Coruscant would be chosen as the new capital. I hate politicians.” Finn said.

“I’d much rather go back to our shitty rebel base with our shitty ships and weapons than accept one single fighter from them!” Poe continued at his rant.

“Well, maybe we don’t have to settle for that either.” Ben said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought Ben was going to propose, didn't you? I wrote them as a modern couple, whose ultimate goal for their relationship is not marriage. Something I believe in.  
> Also, I just a giggle at Coruscant and the prequels (those movies we don't talk about).


	21. The Balance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter! Thank you so much for reading! I will miss writing this story...

Poe’s X-Wing was the first to come out of lightspeed. Following him, many other ships appeared, peppering the sky over the planet Ganthel. Chandrila’s fleet soon followed and the swarm of TIE fighters was finally summoned from the dreadnaught, setting up the pieces for the final battle.

The First Order was cornered. The mass defection that ensued after Finn disclosed the information about the stormtroopers weakened them to the point where the rebels now had a fleet to match the once mighty First Order, with the support of Chandrila.

“All wings, follow my lead.” Poe shouted over the comm. “May the Force be with us. Let’s end this!”

“We’re with you, Poe!” said Rose from her ship.

“Right on it!” Finn said, from the Falcon and they all heard Chewie’s growl of good luck.

***

As the ground troops landed, Ben and Rey made their way into the command room to find the Knights. They went through the empty corridors, following their presence.

“I have a bad feeling about this…” said Rey.

“Me too. It’s too quiet.”

Suddenly, the Force thrummed with the loss of life. One by one, they could feel as they died as panic twisted her gut.

“No! This wasn’t supposed to happen!” Rey shout out in desperation as they rushed with increasing speed to where the remaining Force-signatures were.

Connecting their minds, they summoned the Force to open the door.

Rey had to cover her mouth with her hand to muffle the gasp that came out of her. The room was bathed in blood, the bodies of Jorya Ren, Mikal Ren and Ailla Ren were lying on the floor, mangled and partially charred. Sadako and Bama held their weapons against Caster, glaring at each other with searing hatred.

As the door opened, Caster seized the opportunity to push the ceiling down on them, creating enough of a distraction for him to escape.

The dust from the debris hadn’t dissipated when Sadako, whose face was stained with tears and blood, gave a meaningful look at Rey and ran away as well, and Bama followed suit.

“I’ll go after them, you find Caster!” She told Ben.

“Don’t engage…”

“I know!”

“Be careful!”

“You too!”

“ _ I love you” _

_ “I love you.” _

Ben dashed through the corridors looking for Caster. All the posts had been abandoned, the rooms were empty and there were no stormtroopers to man the guns, he realized. That would make it easier for the ground troops. 

Ben followed his tracks to one of the empty hangars where he witnessed the battle raging in the sky and on the ground. TIEs being outnumbered around the dreadnaught while the ground troops advanced steadily against the stormtroopers that still remained loyal.

The First Order was falling apart. The Rebellion was winning.

He was about to turn around when he heard a familiar noise of a ship in the distance. The Falcon was flying over the battlefield, smoke coming out of it as it tried to shake a fighter. Shots were fired from both ships but luckily it was the Falcon that hit the TIE and it exploded like fireworks.

Ben witnessed in horror the Falcon flying lower and lower with smoke coming out of it. Swiftly he swung out his arm and caught the ship through the Force in time before it crashed. As gently as he could, he laid the ship down on the ground.

Even though had landed far, Ben couldn’t help but run towards it, knowing that Chewie and Finn were in there. Apparently, it was only damaged and relief washed over him. But when he stepped outside the hangar, he sensed danger. A danger so great it was almost too much for him to fathom.

The bond shook. Rey felt it too.

It all happened too fast.

His gaze went up into the sky where the dreadnaught was readying to fire. Hux had gone mad, he thought in a split second, if he had ordered the attack against his own army. In his mind, he saw the possible future: the shot being aimed at the battlefield, in such a wasteful overkill it was almost comical. The Falcon, Finn, Chewie, the soldiers from both sides, all obliterated in fire.

But when the dreadnaught fired, the enormous ball of energy only made it halfway through its course. It hovered over the battlefield like a sun that had abandoned its orbit.

Ben held it still, with all the power his mighty Skywalker blood possessed. The unnatural silence echoed through the battlefield as all had stopped to witness the impossible.

It felt like only the Force existed and he was its mere vessel but the effort was beginning to overwhelm his entire being, claiming all his energy and his focus. He pushed it back to the sky and it receded, but he feared his power was reaching its limit.

But suddenly his mind steadied when Rey took his hand. Her boundless power joined his and together they repeated the move that was becoming their signature. The ball of fire shot back into the dreadnaught, hitting it dead in the center. The starship was engulfed in an explosion and was finally destroyed.

Rey felt it as he collapsed to the floor, exhausted from the effort. And although she was drained herself, she knew he had gotten the worst of it. She tried to hold him and placed him on the ground, cradling his head. He was breathing weakly, his face contorted into an anguished expression.

“Oh, Ben, why would you do that?” she despaired.

“I had to, Rey, I had to save them…” he breathed, fearing that the time had come.

“You should have waited for me…”

“There was no time…” his breath caught quickly. “It’s alright, I’m alright…”

“Ben, look at me, don’t go anywhere, stay right here with me, do you hear me?” she could feel him fading away.

“Oh, Rey, my darling, I wish I could.” he told her while brushing his fingers on her cheek, his expression softening. “You are everything, my soul and my heart. I love you more than the extent of the Force. But I have to pay… I have to… pay…” his eyes shifted away, and his Force signature dimmed.

“No! No! Don’t you dare leave me!” she screamed at him, grabbing his face in panic as painful tears started to come down her face.

The soldiers started gathering around them, including the stormtroopers, to witness the scene, as did Chewie and Finn. The wookie bellowed with pain as he saw what Ben had done.

His last thought was of her, of the love that shone brightly in his heart for her, a love that had changed everything and he took comfort in that. Ben finally closed his eyes, his body lay languid on the ground, no more breath coming out of his lungs.

***

It wasn’t a place. There wasn’t a shape, or colour, or sound to it. It was the Force in its purest form. Ben knew it then. The vision had been true. And he dared to open his eyes.

“Hello, Ben.” Luke greeted.

“Uncle Luke… you’re here!” Ben smiled at him sincerely, but then he remembered. “Does this mean..?”

“Yes, Ben, I’m afraid so…” Luke confirmed.

Ben’s face turned sorrowful as he thought of Rey. He wanted to live, to be with her, but at last his debt was paid and his heart was lighter.

“I wish I had more time, more time with her… I love her more than I ever thought I could.” he lamented. “But is this what it feels like? It’s not too bad.”

“No, Ben, it’s not…” Luke chuckled affectionately at his nephew. “This is home.”

“Home…” Ben repeated. “Uncle Luke? Are they here?” He had hoped to see them, to talk to them, to finally ask for forgiveness now that it was all over.

Instead of answering, Luke just eyed behind him. Ben turned around to see his mother standing there, smiling at him. Without the burden of life, his emotions were free to come out. He accepted her open arms and they hugged for the first time in all those years.

“My son… my beautiful boy…” Leia rejoiced, finally holding her only son.

“Mother, I’ve missed you so much…” Ben mumbled the words, letting the love he felt for his mother surface at last.

“So have I…” said another voice beside them. He briefly left his mother's embrace and saw that Han was standing there too, looking at Ben with soft eyes.

“Father…” Ben choked as tears rushed violently to his eyes.

“Hey, kid...” Han greeted Ben as they moved to hold each other. He hugged his father with all his might, trying to convey what words could not.

There they were, his family, and it seemed as if nothing bad had ever happened between them, as if they had always been together, all along. But he knew it wasn’t so.

“I have to… I have to ask, but how? How?” Ben shuddered, his regret and sorrow still inside him.

“Just say it, Ben. Say what’s in your heart.” Leia offered, softly.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry… will you forgive me? Please...” Ben sobbed in Han and Leia’s arms. His parents held him, just like they used to do when he was a child.

“Son, look at me.” Ben lifted his gaze. “I wish I could have reached out to you sooner, I wish I could have understood your sorrow and your pain, I’m sorry too.”

“Father… please don’t say that…” Ben mumbled.

“I wish I had never sent you away, Ben. I wish I had kept you close. But I hoped that one day you would find it in your heart a way to forgive me.” Leia said.

“Forgive  _ us _ …” Han added.

“Mother… what I’ve done to you… to  _ all _ of you...”

“And yet here you are, Ben, you’ve come home, finally. You’ve chosen the path of redemption. You have done so much for others. I’m so proud of you.” Leia spoke softly, touching his face.

“Oh mother, I wish it had been enough, nothing would ever be. But at least I payed.” Ben mumbled to his parents, giving them a pleading look.

“Ben, we forgive you.” Han affirmed to Ben, gazing at him straight in the eye.

“Yes, son, we do. You have our forgiveness. Do we have yours?” Leia asked.

“Yes…” Ben held them again as he cried, but this time it was out of pure joy. He felt their love for him through the Force, just like his mother had promised.

Luke approached them and was immediately snatched by Ben into their group hug. After some time, Ben looked around and felt like himself again, like when he was just a boy loved by his family. They laughed together, feeling the happiness brought to them by their familial love.

“I love you...” Ben said to his parents and his uncle.

“We love you too, son.” Leia said, smiling.

“It’s too bad you can’t stay.” Han spoke in a pained but sweet voice.

Ben’s face shifted in confusion.

“It seems that our dear Rey is not ready to let you go just yet.” Luke grinned.

“I... I don’t understand…” Ben mumbled.

“Son, you get to live. Make the most out of it, be good, help others, and live.” Han said.

“But I-I…”

“Ben, just know that we love you and we forgive you. Carry that in your heart. Tell Rey that.” Leia said.

“The Force is not done with you yet, Ben.” Luke said. “You still have a purpose, your debt will be paid in another way… You and Rey, you are the Balance in the Force.”

“We will see each other again, many years from now.” Leia said.

“Until then, we will be here for you.” Han promised his son.

“Go, Ben.” Luke said.

“I love you...” Ben repeated, wishing he had better words to describe what he was feeling.

“We know, son.” said Han.

***

She screamed his name in desperation, as pain took over her mercilessly. Tears blinded her and her heart hammered in her chest at the sight of Ben’s lifeless face. Everyone around her watched sadly as Rey held Ben Solo in her arms for the last time. Chewie whimpered with grief at the death of another family member.

But then, she remembered what she had promised him when they had the vision. Harnessing all of the willpower of a stubborn scavenger, she summoned the Force from the depths of its reach, from both sides. Feeling the Light and the Dark emerge around them, twirling in a spiral of power, she commanded them to obey her. Finally, they answered her, bending to her will. She poured all of her power into him, reaching out to wherever he was.

“ _ Come back to me... _ ” she called him.

Suddenly, Rey felt it. His Darkness pulsing weakly but certainly there. Slowly, it rushed back into existence, powerful and  _ alive _ . Ben’s mouth parted to take a breath before he opened his eyes. Rey let out her breath in relief, holding him tight as tears of joy flooded her eyes. Chewie roared behind her in awe of what he was witnessing.

“Rey…” Ben whispered, blinking his eyes, trying to focus.

“I told you I wasn’t going to let it happen…” she held the face that she adored, sobbing.

“I saw them…” Ben told her, his heart still aching from what he had experienced.

“What did they say?” she replied.

“They forgave me, Rey, they forgave me...” they held each other and cried together, and did only that for a while, until Ben recovered.

He grunted as she helped him up, kissing him and hugging him desperately.

As soon as he was on his feet, Chewie rushed to him, seizing Ben and Rey into his crushing embrace. The wookie whimpered telling him that he thought he had lost him.

“Not yet, Chewie, not yet…” Ben managed to say, squeezed in the wookie’s arms.

***

They searched everywhere for the remaining Knights but they found no one. Apparently they managed to escape. Something told Rey she shouldn’t worry about Sadako and Bama as much as Caster, but they were on the lookout nonetheless. They became wanted criminals, the final enemies of the Republic.

Hux went down with the dreadnaught. In a fit of madness, he had indeed pushed the button to fire against the troops himself as all the other officers had abandoned the ship.

The galaxy celebrated the end of another war. Rey hoped it would be the last time, she would do everything in her power to prevent it. She would carry the legacy of the Jedi as keepers of the peace, and raise the new generations into the Balance.

Rey and Ben, together.

***

Rey had insisted that Ben got checked by a med droid, despite of him telling her he was fine.

“You did the same thing to me, remember?” Ben joked.

“I don’t care! Until they’ve examined you from head to toe you won’t budge!” she stated, while the med droid scanned Ben for the fourth time.

His laugh was interrupted by a discrete knock. Their heads turned to see Poe craning his neck over the door, looking a bit embarrassed.

“May I come in?”

“Of course.” said Ben.

“Hey, hum… how are you?” Poe asked Ben, scratching the back of his head.

“I’m fine, thank you.” Ben hesitated.

Rey’s gaze darted back and forth the two men, while an uncomfortable silence set between them. 

“I’ll go get some more... uh... bacta patches…” Rey rushed outside of the room, letting them have some more privacy to talk.

“Dameron, I’m...”

“Just let me power though this, alright?” Poe interrupted. “I just wanted to thank you for what you did for Finn… and for Chewie… and for all the other soldiers out there… If I had lost Finn it would have been over for me, so, I guess… thank you…”

Ben waited to make sure he was finished.

“Please, don’t thank me…”

“Is it true what they’re saying? That what you did would kill you? Were you really willing to give your life for them?”

“I had a debt to pay…”

Poe just stared at him, wondering when it was that he stopped disliking him. Ben was doing the same thing.

“I see it now…”

“See what?” Ben asked, curious.

“You have Leia’s eyes...”

***

Chewie had called Rey and Ben over to the hangar. He had told them he wanted to show them something. When they got there, Chewie began by telling Ben that his mother and father would be proud of him and that he was too. Also that he had plans to retire, he wanted to go back to Kashyyk and be with his people. And so, the Falcon had to be passed on to somebody. The wookie stepped into their direction and placed one paw on each of their shoulders. He was giving them the Falcon.

“Chewie!” Rey exclaimed. “But, it’s yours…”

Chewie said that he couldn’t think of anyone he’d rather see flying his dear ship than the two of them. 

Ben was at a loss for words. He just gazed at his old friend, shaken.

“Chewie, I don’t deserve it.”

With a growl, he told Ben that it was up to him to decide who deserved it or not. Besides, the ship had to remain in the family, it was what Han would have wanted.

***

That night, while the celebration was raging, Ben decided to visit the Falcon. Rey and him made their way to the hangar and gazed at it together. The piece of junk that meant so much to him, to them.

Once inside, he was hit by bittersweet memories of his time there. Every inch of that ship had one for him but the hardest was the Falcon’s cockpit. It reminded Ben of simpler times, when his father taught him how to fly, when they would take trips together and when he had last seen it before he left for Luke’s temple.

He approached the front seats and saw it: his father's dice. He moved his hand to take them but hesitated as pain stung his heart. It would always be there, he thought. Whenever he would think of his family it would hurt, but he hoped that, in time, it would heal.

A hand reached out from behind him and grabbed the dice. Taking his hand, Rey placed them on his palm and closed it between hers.

“Do you want to go for a ride?” she asked, with eyes sparkling, making his lips curl into a smile.

Sitting side by side, they ignited the engines. They took off and broke through the atmosphere. Rey was watching Ben pilot the Falcon with agile moves and with genuine satisfaction in his face.

Ben looked at her. He couldn’t believe that he had been granted a second chance. And that he had her. A love like that, long awaited by his broken soul. Thinking back, he never could explain why he let her call him by his old forbidden name, while anyone else would have their life promptly threatened. Now he knew. The understanding they shared had blossomed into love, even when they still called each other enemies.

Rey smiled at him. Those eyes that took her breath away were staring right back at her. With a pang of fear to her heart, she realized that she had almost lost them. The belonging she sought for so long was hers now. In her heart she kept her love for him, as deep as the extent of the Force.

They were orbiting the planet, gazing at what they have accomplished together: peace.

She then got up, and pulled Ben by the hand. She led him through the ship, admiring their gift. She had learned to love the Falcon after all they have been through. This would be her home with Ben from now on.

At the lounge, he pulled her to him and spun her around. She laughed, landing back against his chest. Humming a song, he started a slow dance with her.

“My father used to dance with my mother right here…”

“You learned well…”

After their dance faded, he showed her where he used to sleep. The cot didn’t seem big enough for her, let alone for him.

They sat down, Ben hunching awkwardly to fit in it. She laughed at that and held his face to kiss him as she sat beside him. Then, he kneeled in front of the bed, pulling her towards him as she leaned back slightly, supporting her weight on her elbows. He slid both hands underneath her top pushing it up, exposing her belly. He peppered kisses on her stomach ever so slowly.

“Hum… you shouldn’t do that…” she purred.

“Why not?” he said casually between kisses.

“‘Cause then you’ll have to fuck me…”

Giving her a “that’s exactly what I was going for, and it worked, as it does, every time” grin, Ben removed her shirt and his, but not her breast band. He nudged at the piece of clothing with his nose, teasing her nipple. Using his teeth, he finally exposed it and licked it, lightly. She moaned in delicious frustration, wanting more.

Propped on her elbows, she gazed at him. He lowered his body to kiss her stomach, leaving a trail of wet kisses as he reached up to grab her tits. He loved the way her nipples pebbled under his touch and he grazed his index fingers over them softly, making her moan.

Rey loved his rough hands, she loved when he played with her breasts like that. Moving back up, he brushed his nose on hers.

“This is our home…” Ben said with happiness flooding his heart.

“Yes, Ben, we’re home…” Rey replied, knowing that it was true.

“I love you.” he breathed. “I want you.”

“I love you, Ben… make love to me...”

Another heated kiss and she got up to remove her own pants in front of him while he watched, still on his knees, his body enlivened with lust for her. As soon as she was bare, he shed his trousers and underwear. Rey lay back on the bed and Ben gazed at her for a moment, taking it all in. The sight of the woman he loved, naked and ready for him, at their new home, made his heart ache.

Rey looked at him, his naked body fomenting her desire for him even more. She wanted him to take her right there, on the Falcon.

He lay on top of her and their eyes locked as he pressed inside her slowly, and they felt the familiar thrum of their bond around them. She was his and he was hers. Pushing deeper, he felt as his member parted her. Making small sounds, she arched her back in pleasure, basking in the feeling of fullness.

They would never tire of this. They had been each other’s firsts and they would be each other’s lasts.

His hips bucked slowly, gently and their eyes were locked. They were completely open to each other, body and soul, celebrating their love.

The Force blessed their union as they were claiming this moment as their own.

His fluid motion got faster and faster as she followed with her hips. And their climax was gathering quickly.

“Rey…”

“Ben…”

It was as if they had summoned it. Her walls started spasming around his length and her face transformed into a beautiful expression of pure bliss as her pleasure ravaged her body. His orgasm hit him at the same time, taking him away with her, in the exquisite ache that blazed through his body.

After their bodies calmed down, they shifted. Somehow they fit in there, Rey lying on top of him, and Ben held her, sighing in content.

“You know… the Jedi are celibate.” Ben mused, with a smirk.

“What?”

“I said the Jedi are celib…” he repeated.

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you.” interrupted Rey.

“They are not allowed to…”

“Oh, I suddenly lost the ability to hear, so sorry.” she quipped, wrenching a laugh from him. “That’s not healthy, by the way. That will be the first thing to go.”

“So, at our temple, people are allowed to fuck?”

“Of course they are!”

“Good to know…” he kissed the top of her head and she giggled.

***

The judge had sentenced Ben to life imprisonment which he humbly accepted. However, due to his latest contributions to end the war, he was granted imprisonment at the new Jedi Temple to rebuild the order with Rey, as long as he would never wield a weapon against anyone ever again.

Rey was so proud of him. And he was proud of himself, for the first time in his life.

***

Coming out of light speed, the Falcon flew over Chandrila and its beautiful natural landscape. They landed in Hanna City and were welcomed by a committee. Ben recognized the people that had spoken to him at Coruscant and he introduce them to Rey. The New Republic’s capital was to be Chandrila again. Poe had politely refused the rank of general, preferring to keep flying with his fleet with his dear X-Wing that once belonged to the great Luke Skywalker. Finn got one of the highest honours for what he did for the stormtroopers. There was still a lot of work to do to get them back to their families but he was happy to do it. They moved in together at an apartment in Hanna City. Rose was off to study engineering but she swore to Rey she would visit as often as she could.

The temple was to be built just outside of the city, into the forest, close to the Solo household where Rey and Ben settled into.

***

Some time passed. Ben and Rey were happier than ever. The temple was built and they were training the first students that would become the new masters of this generation. Rey was a good teacher, kind and patient, while Ben was… less so, but still proved to be a great master. 

One day, Ben and Rey were tending to the temple’s garden when Ben halted. He turned to where a ship had just appeared at the horizon.

“Ben?” Rey asked fearful, reaching for her light staff.

“The Knights…” he answered, drawing his lightsaber that they had illegally smuggled with them.

The ship finally landed and out came Sadako and Bama. Ben and Rey took their stances, ready to defend themselves.

“Put down your weapons, we are not here to fight.” announced Sadako Ren. 

“What do you want?” Ben retorted.

“You had once offered us a place at your temple, Master Rey. We are here to accept it, if you will still have us.” said Sadako.

“That would mean that you will be arrested and tried for your crimes against the Republic.” Rey remarked.

“We all know that imprisonment would be a mere convention to satisfy bureaucrats.” Bama Ren declared with a grin.

“It was the same for you, wasn't it, Master Solo? And yet here you are, holding your weapon in your hands.” Sadako remarked, shooting a glance to his lightsaber.

“Myself, Sadako and Ailla had made the decision to leave the First Oder and abandon the war effort. We managed to convince Jorya also, but Caster and Malik wouldn’t…” Bama told them.

“It ended up in a battle whose end you witnessed. Ailla died defending me…” Sadako continued, her voice becoming even more bitter.

“I’m sorry…” Rey offered, but Sadako didn’t hold her gaze.

“So, we came here to ask for help in capturing Caster. We know where he is and we want to bring him to justice. I assume that is of paramount importance for your Order now, seeing as he is the only remaining trace of the fallen First Order.” Bama Ren spoke.

“You will have to use all your power to keep me from bashing his head into a pulp. He killed my sister.” Sadako spit the words.

“What we mean by that is that we intend to  _ imprison _ him,  _ right _ , Sadako?” Bama chided between his teeth. “We understand and accept the rules of the new Order.” and shot a glance at her.

She rolled her eyes but nodded. “Yes, yes, I give you my word I won’t kill him…” she said, controlling her temper, but still grimaced.

“What is your answer, then?” Bama Ren inquired.

_ “Are they always like that?” _ Rey’s voice asked in Ben’s mind.

_ “Worse, actually.” _ Ben replied.

_ “I like them…” _ Rey told Ben and then voiced out loud. “We would be honoured to have you, Master Sadako and Master Bama.” Rey grinned.

“Call me Dain Isoder. That was my name... before all this.”

“I’ll never go by that filthy name my tribe gave me. I’m proud of my history and of the name I chose.” said Sadako in such a dramatic fashion, Rey had to hold back a chuckle.

“It’s an honour, Master Sadako. Master Dain.” said Ben.

***

As the sun was setting, Rey was packing the rest of their supplies for their trip as Ben carried them to the Falcon.

They gazed at the temple together and saw it: the students going in and out the building made out of stone. Rey smiled at that, recognizing the vision they had, all those months ago. She held Ben’s hand who seemed lost in thought.

Shooting a grin at her, Ben pulled her hand and held her to him. Their lips met in a glorious kiss as the sunset shone upon them. The Force thrummed around them, and they knew they had reached the balance, at last.

*Cue music*

[ https://youtu.be/cUBUlKgsNK8?t=130 ](https://youtu.be/cUBUlKgsNK8?t=130)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Force: "Imma kill Ben"  
> Ben and Rey: *gasp*  
> The Force: "jk lol"
> 
> Also, Reylo forever!


End file.
